This week, the longest reigning episodic television show in history hailed from Austin, Texas, and yet again, the “bro that runs the show” Ryan Smith, was back with another Monday Night Raw Review. Was it as good as last week’s episode? Was it as good as the Ring of Honor tapings that Ryan went to Sunday night? Find out below.
Monday Night Raw Review: Jericho vs. Reigns
Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens
After a brief review of what happened last year (not as good as mine), Seth Rollins made his way to the ring. He got right down to business and said that he wanted Triple H. He explained that life is about choices and consequences. He said he’d made some choices, and he’s learned from the confidence, and now it was time for Triple H to learn the same lesson.
Then things got a little convoluted as Rollins explained that the only way to get to Triple H would be by taking the Universal Championship off of Kevin Owens, but he couldn’t get to Kevin Owens as long as Chris Jericho was by his side. So Rollins is in a feud with Triple H by way of Kevin Owens so he needs to fight Chris Jericho. Huh?
The two had some very awkward back-and-forth and it all felt very forced. Owens eventually brought Roman Reigns into it, and the contrived promo got even more crowded. Owens announced that he was fighting Sami Zayn later that night, and that Jericho would be wresting Rollins at RoadBlock.
Then Owens announced that Rollins had a match tonight, and it would be against the Big Show. The Big Show. Repeating for posterities sake, in case you thought your computer froze and showed a paragraph from 2005, the Big Show.
This segment was just bad. It involved Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Mick Foley, Roman Reigns, Sami Zayn, Chris Jericho, and it ended in a match involving the Big Show. Jeez.
Segment/Match Quality- 2/10 Woo’s
Big Show vs. Seth Rollins
For the first chunk of the match, Big Show threw Rollins around the ring. It’s hard to enjoy the giant, as he’s been so inconsistently booked over the years. They always try to make him look strong right before he feuds with someone, and Rollins didn’t need to be ammo for a feud with Shaq.
The most interesting part of the match was watching Show and trying to determine if he’s a face or a heel. He wrestled like a giant, but that’s what he is. There was a really fun sequence where Rollins kept climbing over the ropes and doing flying knees.
Big Show grew tired of Kevin Owens harrassing him at ringside, and chokeslammed him into the ring, leaving Owens to Rollins before being counted out. Show sauntered up the ramp, applauding and smiling because he realized he’s making a ton of money and this has been his only appearance in months.
Rollins superkicked Owens before hitting him with a Pedigree, but it wasn’t enough to save the segment from being perfectly okay. It wasn’t Show’s fault, it wasn’t Rollins’ fault, it just wasn’t a truly spectacular bit.
Segment/Match Quality- 5/10 Woo’s
Jack Gallagher vs. Ariya Daivari
As we passed the half-hour mark, we got CruiserWeight action as Jack Gallagher debuted against Ariya Daivari. The long lost Weasley brother was impressive in his debut, winning in less than dive minutes. It was a surprisingly physical match, and wasn’t as predictably athletic as most cruiserweight matches. Gallagher offered Daivari a handshake after the match, but Ariya attacked him instead.
Hopefully this will lead to an actual feud between the two. Side note- Who else thinks Jack Gallagher should join The Vaudevillains? Just the look. Pale, mustachioed, manly, you want it.
Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Woo’s
Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Phew. It’s a good thing we saw these two fight for the last time at BattleGround.
Only a joke, these two are incredibly talented, and as a ROH fan, I truly hope they #FightForever. The two started fighting, and immediately we saw the classic “both punching each other” spot. The two flew around, inside and outside the ring, at full speed.
These two have been wrestling with or against each other for ten years, and it shows every time they link up. These two beat the living hell out of each other every single time they are in the same ring, and it’s quickly becoming one of the biggest rivalries in recent WWE history.
Eventually, Owens hit the pop-up powerbomb for the win, but it was a very good bout. These two shouldn’t wrestle very often, because when they do, it’s fantastic. It does seem a little wasteful that Owens took the chokeslam and the pedigree, only to beat Zayn clean anyway.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Woo’s
Rich Swann vs. T.J. Perkins
The newly minted WWE CruiserWeight Champion Rich Swann danced to the ring to take on former champion, T.J. Perkins. This was a fun match. Both guys are really talented and flamboyant, and it was an easy match to watch. They joked around, but took each other seriously. You can tell there’s a healthy measure of respect, and it made the match even easier to enjoy. It ended with Perkins kicking Perkins directly in the head for the win.
Segment/Match Quality- 6/10 Woo’s
Bayley vs. Alicia Fox
The relationship between Alicia Fox and Cedric Alexander has evolved into a love triangle. After Bayley allegedly gave Alexander one of her Bayley-Bears on the Raw pre-show, Fox was offended. Yup, the same show that has falls-count-anywhere, no DQ women’s championship match in the main event also has two girls fighting over a man when one of the girls isn’t even interested.
In any event, the match wasn’t bad. Alicia Fox is no AJ Lee, but her “crazy girl” has always been fine. Bayley eventually got fired up and hit “Bayley to Belly” on Fox to get the win.
Segment/Match Quality- 5/10 Woo’s
Titus O’Neil vs. Mark Henry
This matched was being called the “Tussel in Texas”. Michael Cole said we’ve “never seen a match like this”, and honestly, I started writing about why this was the worst segment on the show before the bell rang. Despite the match having a name, there weren’t actually any stipulations.
Unless the stipulation was “Mark Henry wins in seven seconds”, because that’s exactly what happened. Mark Henry is from Texas, so getting the hometown pop is nice, but the continued burial of Titus O’Neil reminds all of us that we should never, ever, ever touch Vince McMahon.
Segment/Match Quality- 1/10 Woo’s
Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho
It looks like Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens might actually be done. Phew.
Well, as the final hour of the show began, United States Champion Roman Reigns and the greatest superstar of all time, Chris Jericho faced off for the patriotic belt. The match was fine, but it felt like both wrestlers were going through the motions. It felt like watching two computers wrestle in a WWE 2k17 match.
When the match started, Reigns was aloof and laughing at Jericho and Owen’s relationship troubles. Jericho was downtrodden and seemed distracted by those same troubles. However, when the match started, Jericho was back to being cocky Y2J and Reigns was back to being stoic and predictable.
The worst thing about Jericho putting younger talent over is that his finishers have lost all their prestige. Nobody ever gets pinned by a Lionsault anymore, and I don’t remember the last time someone actually tapped out to the Walls of Jericho. This is the same guy who beat The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the same night, and now he’s lucky if he can get a pin with a Codebreaker.
Kevin Owens eventually came out and superkicked Reigns while the ref’s back was turned. Jericho hit the Codebreaker, but Reigns kicked out. Jericho and Owens bickered for a moment, distracting Y2J just long enough for Reigns to recover, hitting the spear and retaining the U.S. title.
Segment/Match Quality- 7/10 Woo’s
Big Cass vs. Rusev
So this week, there was actually good storytelling. Enzo Amore and Big Cass saw Rusev being a jerk to Lana so he stood up for her. Rusev walked off and Lana told Enzo to come to her hotel room. Later on, Cass and Rusev had an altercation, and a match was made later in the night.
However, Enzo went to the hotel room, and when Cass came to the ring, Rusev never came to the ring. Cass realized what was happening and tried to call Enzo, but he ignored the call.
In the hotel room, Lana repeatedly attempted to seduce Enzo, but he resisted. Eventually Lana convinced him to take off his pants before calling him a fool. Lana then called for Rusev. Rusev destroyed Enzo, tossing him around the hotel room, breaking tables and lamps over his back and head. It was a great segment, and this isn’t the last you’ll hear of it in this article.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Woo’s
Sheasaro vs. Gallows & Anderson
The WWE Tag Team Champions, the New Day were at ringside to see Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson take on Sheamus and Cesaro to earn a title shot next week on Raw. This was the first Sheasaro match since the two bonded over a bar room brawl, and while there was still some banter on the way to the ring, they seemed like a real team.
As all four of these guys are stiff workers, this was a very physical match from the jump. There’s not much to say about this bout. All four men are seriously underrated (even Cesaro), and they put on a very technically sound match.
Or at least, it was, until the match turned into a brawl and the New Day got involved. Everyone started hitting everyone and the ref waved the match off. Who is the number one contender? Who the hell knows?
Segment/Match Quality- 7/10 Woo’s
Wootopia
Charlotte made her way to the ring, and began talking about how ashamed she was of how she treated her father, Ric Flair back in Baltimore. They replayed Charlotte cutting that promo for the fourth time, and we had to watch Ric cry like it was 2004 all over again.
Charlotte cut an incredible promo where her voice cracked and her lips quivered and she seemed genuinely upset that Ric endorsed Sasha Banks last week. She played up on how Ric was never there for her as a little girl and how all she ever wanted was his approval.
Charlotte hugged Ric and apologized and it felt very real, but Ric remained stoic. They pulled away and he went for another hug and she slapped him in the face. She started screaming at Ric and Sasha ran down to the ring. Charlotte absolutely destroyed the Raw Women’s Champion, all the while Ric watched and wept.
The show went to black with Charlotte mocking an unconscious Sasha Banks at Ric Flair’s feet. Altogether, it was a very good segment, and it partially made up for an iffy show.
Segment/Match Quality- 9/10 Woo’s
Best Segment/Match of the Night- Wootopia
Charlotte is such a fantastic heel. The game of hot potato that is being played with the Women’s Championship is bad, but Charlotte has been outstanding. Her mic work, as well as in-ring work has been fantastic. Sasha will likely drop the belt back to Charlotte at RoadBlock, but she absolutely deserves it.
Worst Segment/Match of the Night- The Tussel in Texas
45 year old Mark Henry squashing Titus O’Neil because the match took place in Texas helps who? I’m serious. Who? *New Day Voice* WHO? Just terrible. Just absolutely awful.
Show Quality- 4/10 Woo’s
Last week was great, this week? Well, WWE always puts the cringe in Cringle this time of year, and this show proved that won’t be different this season. It was a boring episode that seemed to limp by. With RoadBlock creeping up, Raw better turn up the heat.
