You and I both know footy is filled with fantastical storylines, embellished headlines and completely fabricated news. Football is at a pivotal point in many ways – scandals, match-fixing, rampant racism, rioting, and then there are the on-the-pitch troubles as well. Consider the ever-growing “diving culture”, as well as the controversy as to whether to bring in replay and goal-line technology. Jeez, what’s a bloke to do?
My intent for this column is to bring you the day’s best headlines, along with a little wry, honest and critical commentary, in as compact a manner as I can muster.
Right, here are today’s headlines:
Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny has issued an apology for his father being an idiot. The elder Sneezy blasted Arsenal, and Wenger specifically, for his son’s poor form. Right, it’s Wenger’s fault when he punches a rebound directly onto someone’s foot. Pshaw……It appears Callum McManaman has escaped punishment for his flying kick aimed at Massadio Haïdara, with the FA deciding no further action is warranted. What the bloody hell? If you haven’t seen it yet, go look, as it makes the decision that much more comical. In related news, Dana White of the UFC has inquired if McManaman is up to taking on Jon Jones after seeing that flying studs-first kick……Can we just cut the BS? Steve Harper has “hailed” his time at Newcastle, so much so that he is leaving at the end of the season. Okay, you’re not playing much, but have some dignity and go out a magpie for God’s sake. Where would he think he’s going to go at this stage? 38-year old back up keepers aren’t exactly in high demand……Is Luis Suarez leaving Liverpool or not? Depends who you ask, the day, the time, what they had for afternoon tea and whether or not they’ve had their afternoon crap. Who bloody cares? Sign him, sell him, give him to Spurs, whatever. Okay, maybe not the Spurs thing……Apparently Joe Hart is dumbfounded as to why United are doing that much better than City. Sorry, I don’t know where to begin……I started with Arsenal news, and I’ll end with the same. Skipper Thomas Vermaelan has been out of form as of late, and has been sidelined purposely by Arsene Wenger in clashes (WINS) against Bayern Munich and Swansea. Many Arsenal fans have lost faith, and some of those have even called for a new captain (ahem, Jack Wilshere). Despite all that negativity, and with Laurent Koscielny and Per Mertesacker playing well centrally, a) Vermaelan isn’t worried and b) there is news of both Barca and Man City interested in him. What am I not seeing? Time for my optometrist appointment.
That does it for today. I’m off to stock my fridge and get back in time for some footy replays. Carpe Diem, mates.
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