Basketball is a dance, when played correctly. Much like the Waltz, Tango, or Foxtrot, basketball is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. The NBA consists of the greatest basketball talent in the world. However, this talent is as diverse as the society at large is. For this article, a particular section of talent is brought into focus: the NBA bonehead. Most players ply their trade in the NBA with relative anonymity, but the NBA bonehead always finds a way to be the center of attention. The 2016 All-NBA Bonehead Team is a mixture of outright clowns, malcontents, and questionable tacticians. This year, the All-NBA Bonehead team consists of Draymond Green, JaVale McGee, J.R. Smith, DeMarcus Cousins, and John Wall.
The All-NBA Bonehead Team
When is hitting someone in the groin okay?
Unless you’re not a huge basketball fan, chances are you are aware of Draymond Green’s past indiscretions. Just last weekend, Green was up to his old Chuck Norris-like ways.
Draymond Green dislocated a couple of Marquese Chriss's fingers with this leg kick last night. Ouch. pic.twitter.com/9yOQVlmVKJ
— Last Word on Basketball (@LastWordHoops) December 4, 2016
Green had a memorable playoff run last season, culminating with him punching at LeBron James’ groin area in Game Four of the NBA Finals. He was suspended for Game Five and the Golden State Warriors subsequently surrendered the series and title to James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Fans and experts alike all expected Green to show some contrition, but not Mr. Green. Instead, Green was even more controversial and resolute in his explanation for his cheap-shot style of play. It is amazing to see, honestly.
What one must remember about Green is that he was not supposed to be a star. He was picked by the Warriors in the second round of the 2012 NBA Draft almost as a throw-away player. He was not highly recruited coming out of high school, when he headed to Michigan State University. Green is driven by being the underdog and being “disrespected”. However, his agent is also in on the shenanigans. B.J. Armstrong is carrying the flag for his client, though Armstrong was a very good player himself. Mind-boggling, really.
Draymond Green and agent BJ Armstrong do their damnedest to preserve Draymond’s right to kick people. My head hurts. https://t.co/mh9BF6f8r0
— Zach Clark (@ZachEClark) December 5, 2016
Meet JaVale, the Peter Pan of the NBA
JaVale McGee is gifted. He is also a clown.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMsV_0qALoc/
His mother, Pamela McGee, played for USC with the great Cheryl Miller. His aunt was also on that team. His younger sister is Imani Boyette, a rookie in the WNBA who had a standout collegiate career at the University of Texas. The genetics are there for him. However, for the past few years, it’s been evident that McGee has an issue with staying focused. Just this past Saturday against the Phoenix Suns, he had his most recent momentary mental lapse. His talent is undeniable, his athleticism is unmistakable, and he’s still only 28 years old. In an off-season where Timofey Mozgov ($64 million), Joakim Noah ($72 million), and Hassan Whiteside ($98 million) all got massive contracts, it’s painful to see McGee playing for the league minimum. The question is: why? We already know this answer at this point.
JaVale McGee remains the @shaqtin MVP 😂 pic.twitter.com/sUYxTICwRM
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) December 4, 2016
The man we know as Boogie
DeMarcus Cousins. Boogie! First off, he desperately needs to shed that moniker. Cousins is living proof that John Calipari should be in the conversation for sainthood. He had Cousins for one season at the University of Kentucky and kept the big man in check. Upon his entry into the NBA, Cousins has proven to be quite the challenge for coaches and fellow players alike. Cousins has never committed a foul – let him tell it. Cousins never met an official he respects or agrees with. DeMarcus Cousins is one of the most talented players in the NBA. He has the skills of a wing, with the body of a big. Unfortunately, it seems like he has the mind of a five-year old.
Of course, it doesn’t help that he plays for the Sacramento Kings, arguably the most dysfunctional organization in all of professional sports. Cousins has proven to be a very productive player, sans the odd (well, not so odd) outburst. He has been an All-Star, and he represented Team USA at the Rio Olympics. One may hope that Cousins matures quickly. He is a heck of a player.
Meet the Clown Prince of the NBA
J.R. Smith is an amazing specimen. First off, he is one of the deadlier shooters and scorers in the NBA. However, he might very well be the “Clown Prince” of the league. Just last week, Smith, in an inexplicable move, decided to re-introduce himself to Jason Terry while the game was going on.
https://twitter.com/CauldronICYMI/status/803784874649759745?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
One can only imagine what teammate LeBron James told him following that faux-pas. Ironically, while playing for the New York Knicks, Smith was ejected for elbowing then-Boston Celtics guard Terry in the face. Now, Terry is evidently Smith’s BFF. That was the latest in the saga of “Good Ol’ J.R. Smith”.
Smith once, while playing for the Denver Nuggets, thought it prudent to play a prank on teammate Kenyon Martin. He had Martin’s brand new tricked-out SUV packed with buttered popcorn. Bear in mind the interior of the vehicle was all white, with leather and fabric. If one were to check out Smith’s statistical splits based on days of the week, one notices that Smith’s least productive day of the week is Sunday. One might surmise that is because on Saturday nights, he is out clubbing.
Buyer beware
Team owners and general managers are wary of Smith. This past off-season, when nearly every team had money to spend, no teams seriously entertained offering a contract to him. Even the Cavs took their time in negotiations with him. He missed training camp and thus is still not shooting the ball well this season. Just imagine: former Cavs teammate Mathew Dellevadova received a huge contract with the Milwaukee Bucks (four years, $38 million) early in free-agency but Smith had to wait. Smith is past the point of return. He is 31 years old, and therefore set in his ways. All of Smith’s teams and teammates have to accept him with his flaws.
John Wall is an interesting candidate
It might be rough to include John Wall on the All-NBA Bonehead Team, but Wall has played his way into contention. Wall is the uber-talented starting point guard for the Washington Wizards. He is a “look the part” All-Star. Wall however, has a unique ability to be a bit of a complainer. He broke the player code of never discussing other players’ contracts -ever. Wall commented on his fellow teammate Bradley Beal‘s new contract, stating “Now that he has his money, now he has to play”. Whatever happened to simply congratulating your teammate on his success? But perhaps there is a mitigating circumstance.
John Wall is an All-Star. He has a contract with Adidas, where he’s not the signature advertiser (that position belongs to James Harden and Damian Lillard). His NBA contract was a max deal in 2014, when he signed it. But Wall’s deal is worth significantly less than players’ deals of this off-season, so he is salty about it. His statements about Beal’s contract bare a strange resemblance to Carmelo Anthony’s famous words calling Jeremy Lin’s 2012 contract offer from the Houston Rockets “ridiculous”.
Wall’s team won half of its games last season (41-41) and missed the playoffs after playing very well the previous season. Wall is a great player, but he was not quite good enough to make Team USA’s basketball roster for either the World Cup or the Olympics. It’s safe to say that Wall has disappointed himself, as a professional. Maybe he should simply concentrate on playing well and leading his team in a positive manner towards the greatness he expects of himself.
Boneheads from yester-year
Many NBA legends have found themselves on this list in the past. Gilbert Arenas once attempted to turn his locker room into the O.K Corral. Dennis Rodman, after diving into the photography row, kicked a photographer in the groin area. The Detroit Pistons of the 1980s were unspeakable as a unit. Latrell Sprewell once choked then-coach P.J. Carlesimo while yelling “I’m going to kill you”. Rasheed Wallace holds the record for most technical fouls awarded in a single season. Why? Because he never, ever committed a foul, according to him.
Ron Artest
Remember, “The Malice at the Palace”? That started with Artest attempting to bully Ben Wallace. Wallace responded and Artest, being the tough guy that he was, chose to fight a fan. Many things happened consequently to that bruhaha, including Reggie Miller retiring after that season. Artest has since changed his name to Metta World Peace (define irony) and has admitted to having mental health issues.
It takes a special individual to be an All-NBA Bonehead, and there are many honorable mentions. Those include players like Matt Barnes, who once left training camp to rush home and fight his estranged wife’s new boyfriend. Or Lance Stephenson, who found it prudent to blow in LeBron James’ ear during a playoff game. A person who acts like an idiot is often celebrated. There are programs like Shaqtin’ A Fool on TNT and NBA TV, as well as the ‘Not Top Ten’ of ESPN’s SportsCenter.
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