It’s great to be back again this week. In case you missed it, here’s what’s been making headlines this past week in the world of pro sports:
FISH ON SPORTS: Olympic Pairs, NFL Fiancees, and SI Couples Therapy
SOCHI OLYMPICS
It was a big week for pairs at the Olympics. Husband-and-wife pair Vic Wild and Alena Zavarzina, who both competed in the snowboard giant slalom for Russia, won medals within moments of each other. It’s the first time in history that a man and a woman received applause for not finishing simultaneously.
Cross country skiing siblings Kerttu and Iivo Niskanen also both won medals this past week. One was silver and one was gold though, so their parents can’t lie about who their favorite is during Thanksgiving this year.
Meanwhile, the men’s hockey tournament is gearing up for its semi-final matchups on Friday. Canada barely got by Latvia after a 55-save performance from goaltender Kristers Gudlevskis. The last time I saw one person deny that many Canadians, I was in a Hollywood’s casting agent’s office while he was holding auditions for a William Shatner impersonator.
Of course, we now have a rematch of last year’s gold medal game between Canada and USA on Friday. Even President Obama said he’ll be tuning in and, according to him, “free throw shooting will be the key to victory”.
All this excitement in Sochi, and Vladimir Putin has somehow managed to keep his shirt on. I’ll bet it’s been tough though – Thomas Bach keeps getting drunk and throwing beads at him.
NFL
Ravens running back Ray Rice was arrested after causing a scene at a casino in Atlantic City. Rumor is that the guys at the blackjack table also thought Joe Flacco should throw more too.
Actually, Rice and his fiancée allegedly got into a heated physical altercation. Despite this, Ravens management are standing by Rice, saying he’ll be “a big part of the team” come the 2014 season. Wait – does this mean Baltimore is playing in the prison league next year?
Of course, everyone is still talking about Michael Sam, whose draft stock is reportedly dropping because he’s openly gay. Some general managers are saying that this development has nothing to do with his sexual orientation, and everything to do with his inexperience in a police lineup.
Speaking of Sam, he received a standing ovation at a recent Missouri men’s basketball home game. In fact, it went on for so long that people working at Marcus Bachmann’s Christian counseling clinic tried to pray the crowd away.
NBA
In a sit down interview with NBA TV’s Steve Smith, LeBron James said he “cannot picture leaving Miami at this time”. I just hope that, even if he does leave, we don’t get another televised “decision” in the offseason. The only embarrassing choice LeBron should broadcast publically from now on is that he’ll do Rogaine commercials when he retires.
**Trade deadline**
NHL
USA Today reported recently that there’s a “very slim” chance that the NHL will allow their players to participate in the next Winter Olympics. Thankfully, this means that Chris Kunitz will most likely never play for Team Canada again.
Should we be this hard on Kunitz though? I mean, he’s just a good Canadian kid who has overachieved in the US for a while and is now crumbling under the media scrutiny. He’s basically one Florida DUI away from being Justin Bieber.
MLB
Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster will reportedly sit out the entire 2014 season to spend more time with his kids. I don’t blame him – I mean, who wouldn’t rather spend more time with screaming children than watch Big Papi spit on his palms thirty-five times a day?
AND FINALLY …
Sports Illustrated is expanding their Swimsuit site to include even more photos and exclusive content. The magazine says it did so to help solve a common problem among their male subscribers: they were spending too much time with their spouses.
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