In 2013, Dairy Queen released a commercial centered around a blind taste test. A blindfolded woman sat at a desk across from two testers both wearing white coats. One tester scribbled notes while the other questioned the woman. “Okay. We’d like you to try two frozen lattes. One is from a national chain of coffee shops. And the other is new from Dairy Queen.” The woman drinks the first latte, shakes her head up and down in satisfaction and then reaches for the other. She ecstatically responds, “Mm! This one’s fantastic.” The questioning tester scribbles down the reaction and says, “Looks like you chose DQ’s MooLattee, great!” He then proceeds to reach across the table for the woman’s burger saying, “Okay you can give it back now.” She shakes him away, hurriedly slurping down the latte with both hands clinched tightly to it now. His hand touches the drink and she quickly slaps it away. He proclaims, “The test is over let it go.” She screams, “NEVER!” and blindly bolts for the door. She slams into a closed door while the testers shake from the thundering crash. The questioning tester notes the reaction while saying to himself, “Likes it a lot.”
The commercial is hilarious and definitely one of the better ads that uses the blindfold trick. You know the best thing about the trick though, it gives you the truth void of any doubt. And here’s the thing, that DQ commercial definitely got me thinking. What if I applied that to this draft’s biggest mistake – two similarly highly touted quarterbacks incorrectly selected after each other. Without further ado, allow me to put my white coat on and mix a series of Blind Tests with a couple of NFL Analysts quotes.
The 2016 NFL Draft’s Huge Mistake: A Tale of Two Quarterbacks
(Significant phrases in all caps: both positive and negative)
Blind Test 1
Mel Kiper Analysis (Player X):
When you look at Player X, he’s tall and can really spin the football. Really good pure passer. Really works well in the pocket. Manipulates the pocket. Just slips and slides in the pocket. Hangs that third and fourth option very effectively. Very accurate throwing the football. Can make any throw you want. NOT GOING TO IMPRESS YOU PHYSICALLY. Or wow you over athletically. Doesn’t have biggest of hands. But his hands size is good enough. All he does is go out and play SOLID CONSISTENT winning football. This kid can play. I love the way he spins it. I love the way he’s improved. I like the fact he’s put on weight. He has the frame to even get bigger than that.
Mel Kiper Analysis (Player Y):
He’s got that Drew Bledsoe size. Kinda a Bledsoe/Ben Roelisberger type build. Big hands. Very Good Athlete. Very mobile. Then he goes and plays in National Championship. Wins that. Good Senior Bowl week. Charismatic. HE’S A GUY THAT TAKES CHARGE of the football team, practice field, huddle, game day. HE HAS THAT IT FACTOR. And he’s got all the physical and athletic skills to match. HUGE ADVANTAGE: PLAYER Y
Blind Test 2
In my tape study evaluation, I had Player Y with a little more energy on the deep throws. Maybe not as accurate as Player X but clearly I THOUGHT PLAYER X’S BALLS LOST A LOT OF ENERGY ON THOSE DEEPER THROWS. Which in today’s NFL I think is very important. 65% of the time you have multiple defensive backs on the field, five or more, so you have those tighter windows. SLIGHT ADVANTAGE: PLAYER Y
Blind Test 3
Peter King Analysis (Pre-Browns/Eagles Trade):
There’s no top pick everyone’s excited about, but I think Laremy Tunsil and Player Y have the best chance of going 1-2 right now. I HEAR THE BROWNS LIKED PLAYER Y OVER PLAYER X IN THE INTERVIEW PROCESS, but even if true, we’re in mile three of the 26.2 mile draft-process marathon. Over the weekend, I HEARD MORE POSITIVE STUFF ABOUT PLAYER Y THAN PLAYER X FROM THE TEAMS WITH QUARTERBACK NEEDS, but that could change six times between now and the draft. HUGE ADVANTAGE: PLAYER Y
Blind Test 4
Jon Gruden Analysis (Player X):
I think Player X HAS EVERYTHING I’M LOOKING FOR IN THE POCKET. He has great feet. He keeps his feet alive at all times. He takes punishment. He’ll create new launching spots. He’s a very talented pocket passer. I would want him if I were still coaching.
Jon Gruden Analysis (Player Y):
The one thing that stands out about Player Y is his off-the-field intangibles. He’s a two time captain, HE HAS A 4.0 GPA, he’s a fifth year finishing senior, VALEDICTORIAN IN HIGH SCHOOL, very faith-oriented. If anybody can stand the mental pressure that comes with playing in Location Z and withstand the physical pressure that it takes to play at a high level, it’s Player Y. SLIGHT ADVANTAGE: PLAYER X
Blind Test 5
Dari Nowkah/Bill Polian Analysis (Player X):
There it is. In the end they go with, most everybody expected. As Player X is a Location A player. And there are a lot of happy people in Location Z by the way. Uh, because uh, I think they wanted Player Y yes. BUT THIS IS A GOOD PICK. For all the reasons we talked about. He’s a very smart young man. I THINK he has a bright future in the League.
Dari Nowkah/Bill Polian Analysis (Player Y):
Looking at the film. Their offense, that particular week was very reminiscent of the West Coast Offense. And he looked magnificent. Absolutely magnificent. If you looked at that film only, you would say to yourself: THIS GUY’S A SUREFIRE CAN’T MISS in the NFL. And he’s played at that level in some high pressure games. Two years ago, he had a run through the playoffs that’s really magnificent. And I mentioned to one of my friends who was with a club. HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS GUY PLAYER Y? AND HE SAID TO ME, SHHHH!!! NOBODY KNOWS THAT NAME. HUGE ADVANTAGE: PLAYER Y
… Player X = Jared Goff, Player Y = Carson Wentz.
Location Z = Philadelphia
Location A = Los Angeles