The bro that runs the show, Ryan Smith is back with yet another in the world-famous, never-ending weekly Monday Night Raw Review series. This week, a spooky, scary Monday Night Raw took place in Hartford, Connecticut. There was fall-out from Hell in a Cell, Goldberg showed up to respond to Brock Lesnar, and we found out who was next for WWE Universal Champion, Kevin Owens. Seeing as it is Halloween, Ryan opted to use Boo’s instead of Woo’s this week.
Monday Night Raw Review: Halloween Raw (10/31/16)
Goldberg, Rusev, and Paul Heyman.
The show opened with Goldberg’s music as the former World Champion made his way to the ring. The baddest man in 1998 began to cut a promo when he was interrupted by the advocate for Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman. Heyman said that Lesnar wasn’t appreciative of the crowd chanting Goldberg’s name, and unlike last week, it worked this time. The crowd responded properly by chanting “Goooooldberg, Gooooooldberg.”
Heyman sad he wasn’t afraid to get in the ring with Goldberg because he announced that he had significant back-up. Heyman said Goldberg didn’t want to wait until Survivor Series, and he welcomed Lesnar to the ring. Lesnar’s music hit, but nothing happened.
In many ways, this kind of trolling perfectly represented Monday Night Raw. It looked so exciting, and then ultimately nothing happened.
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Goldberg was baring down on Heyman when Rusev‘s music hit and the Bulgarian Brute made his way to the ring. The former United States Champion cut a promo on Goldberg, claiming he was a fan of Goldberg in WCW as a kid, but claimed that he had lost the strength and explosiveness that he once had. The whole time, Goldberg sat there pouting, vaguely resembling an angry turtle.
Rusev punched Goldberg in the face, but Mr. WCW didn’t sell it. The two grappled awkwardly for a moment before Goldberg hit the jackhammer. He celebrated for a moment before speaking Paul Heyman. All in all, it was a pretty good segment. All three men did their jobs, though it’s troubling to see Rusev get used in such a way.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Boo’s
Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows
This match was a… *sigh* “Trick or Street” fight between a 6’7, 300 pound man that has wrestled all around the world and a 5’11, 200 pound man with the gift for gab. It was entertaining to see Enzo Amore and Big Cass come out dressed like Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story, but that’s where the fun ended. Luke Gallows and Enzo Amore faced off half an hour into the show, and the first half of the match was Zo attacking Gallows with Halloween gimmicks.
He shoved Gallows’ head into a bucket of apples, hit him with a skeleton, and tossed him around outside of the ring. Again, Gallows was tossed around by a guy that is eight inches shorter and 100 pounds lighter than him. It’s one thing to book Gallows and Karl Anderson badly, it’s another to ignore basic physics. We went to commercial, and when we came back, Gallows was attacking Enzo with pumpkins. Yes, pumpkins.
The match got a little better when Gallows picked up a kendo stick and began beating on Enzo. It immediately got worse when Enzo began throwing pumpkins at Gallows. Anderson ended up getting a pie to the face, Big Cass hit a Big Boot on Anderson, and after a spot where Cass put a pumpkin on Gallows’ head, Enzo got the win.
This segment gets negative Boo’s. This segment is the early favorite for “Worst Segment” of the month for November and technically, it’s still October. Unless Dana Brooke has something special planned, this was the worst segment of the night.
Segment/Match Quality- (-1/10 Boo’s)
T.J. Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick
T.J. Perkins didn’t wait long to get his rematch with Brian Kendrick for the WWE CruiserWeight Championship, as it was the second match of the night. Kendrick came out and cut a promo about how nice guys finish last and how T.J. was a sucker for falling for his tricks. It was actually a really good promo, but for some reason, yet again, the crowd was dead.
T.J. Perkins came out red hot, assaulting Kendrick. For the first time, the CruiserWeights were fighting for a reason. Perkins was upset, Kendrick was desperate, and the match meant something. TJP did an amazing spot where he dove off the top rope and hit a frankensteiner on Kendrick OUT of the ring, landing directly on his head. At this point, Kendrick allowed himself to be counted out, and retained the title. The two brawled outside of the ring, and it looks like this feud is far from over.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Boo’s
Mick Foley, JeriKO, and Roman Reigns
General manger Mick Foley recapped the night before mentioning Chris Jericho‘s interference. He brought up how what he did was legal, but a little underhanded. His promo was interrupted as the Universal Champion and his best friend came to the ring.
Kevin Owens cut an outstanding promo, talking about how he stole the show in the main event, and how it must bother Foley that he defeated Seth Rollins. Foley said there would be consequences but he needed Owens and Jericho on Team Raw at Survivor Series. He said that he and Jericho were the top two guys on Raw (he’s not wrong, see?).
The duo were on point as heels. They talked about how all Foley did was lose in the cell. They stole the cheap pop, and they antagonized Foley. Jericho immediately got the key from Hell in a Cell over as he named it the “Key of Jericho” and told the WWE Universe to “Lock it innnn, maaaaan”.
Foley made things interesting by saying the Stephanie McMahon didn’t want Jericho, but that he only wanted Owens. The segment took a dark turn when Foley brought out Roman Reigns, saying he needed “The Guy” at Survivor Series.
Three of the best talkers in WWE history tried to carry Roman Reigns. They failed. Reigns called Jericho and Owens “Spongebob” and “Patrick”. Jericho proved yet again that he’s the greatest of all time by saying he WOULDN’T put anyone on the list of Jericho. Foley made Jericho vs. Reigns for the U.S. title official for later on in the night.
Segment/Match Quality- 9/10 Boo’s
Survivor Series Team Raw Battle Royal
It’s really hard to cover a battle royal, so here are the notes.
This battle royal included all the tags teams that weren’t the New Day plus Braun Strowman, Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel. Dallas was eliminated almost immediately. So much for his push?
Did Strowman ruin everyone? Did he throw everyone out at the same time like the monster he’s been booked to be? No. He got pushed through the second rope and spent part of the match on the ground.
Sheamus and Cesaro worked together for the most part, but towards the end, Cesaro turned on his partner, only to get tossed out by Strowman. It came down to Neville, Sami Zayn, and Strowman. Strowman discarded Neville with ease, and predictably, we ended up with Zayn and the former Wyatt.
Zayn almost eliminated Strowman, but eventually the big man knocked him out, standing victorious.
If it was always going to be Strowman, then why bother? If Zayn had eliminated Strowman, he would’ve had some momentum in their feud, and made for an interesting storyline moving forward. Instead, the big guy just won. Kinda anticlimactic.
Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Boo’s
Rich Swann, Cedric Alexander, Lince Dorado & vs. Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, Ariya Daivari
The sad thing about these six-man tags is that while they’re wildly entertaining, they’re not about it anything. You know the match is gonna be good, and they’re all going to do what they do best.
Rich Swann is going to be wildly entertaining, Cedric Alexander is going to do some crazy things in the ring, and somehow, someway, Tony Nese is gong to keep existing without having the CruiserWeight Championship.
There’s a negative stigma about cruiserweights being spot-monkeys with no psychology, but it’s just not true. Look at any indy in the world and you’ll see it. It’s just the WWE that has no idea how to book these guys. Good match, but it didn’t mean anything. The babyfaces got the win, but does it mean anything at all?
Segment/Match Quality- 6/10 Boo’s
Charlotte and Bayley
The WWE Raw Women’s Champion, Charlotte, was carried to the ring again tonight, this time with the belt. Charlotte announced that she would be the Woman’s team captain at Survivor Series, and immediately called out Nikki Bella, Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, and Carmella. Then she announced that Bayley would be on the team, and called her to the ring.
Charlotte was fantastic, and Bayley was… not. She was awkward and had the worst fake laugh I’ve ever seen. Charlotte announced that Bayley would be facing her Survivor Series teammate tonight. And it wasn’t Dana Brooke, it was Nia Jax.
Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Boo’s
Nia Jax vs. Bayley
This was a huge NXT match, and it’s the precursor for the main event on Raw. The styles actually match up. All year long, Nia Jax has dominated for most of the match before winning. Meanwhile, Bayley has been getting her ass kicked, only to come back and win at the end.
This was pretty true-to-form here. Jax threw Bayley around, and kept overcoming the girl-next-door’s comeback efforts. Eventually she got the pinfall and looked absolutely dominant. How are the SmackDown Teams supposed to win? The New Day, Strowman, and Jax make Raw nigh unbeatable.
Segment/Match Quality- 5/10 Boo’s
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Sheasaro vs. The Shining Stars
When Primo and Epico made their way to the ring, you had a feeling they were in trouble. Sheasaro was mad about last night and the battle royal, and they wanted to take it out on the Shining Stars.
While it wasn’t particularly physical, Sheasaro still easily disposed of the Shining Stars and got the win. The two are still tagging, and that’s a very, very good thing.
Segment/Match Quality- 5/10 Boo’s
Chris Jericho w/Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns
Curiously, this match started before 10:50 PM. Just barely, but it still did. Before this week, the matches had been starting as late as 10:59. Jericho started the match by throwing his scarf at Reigns. While funny, it probbbbably should’ve been a DQ.
It was a pretty solid match. Reigns has gotten a lot better in the ring. If they could just get him a manger instead of sticking him with cheesy promos, he could probably get over. His in-ring ability has improved dramatically, but his mic ability has not.
Something occurred to me during this match. How is Jericho going to be on Team Raw at Survivor Series when his band has a show in France that day? Shenanigans!
The saddest thing about Chris Jericho matches is that when he gets someone in the walls of Jericho, you know they’re not going to tap. Nobody has tapped to that move on TV in years, and it’s sad because he’s beaten the likes of Triple H, The Rock, and Stone Cold with it.
Reigns eventually hit the spear on Jericho and went for the pinfall, but Kevin Owens interfered and attacked him. Perhaps this will be how Jericho turns on Owens? He’ll blame Owens for costing him the match and they’ll fight? Owens will powerbomb Jericho onto the apron, and he’ll be off TV until further notice?
Anyway, Owens and Jericho were beating Reigns up when Seth Rollins came to the rescue. He fought both men off, leaving the former teammates to stand in the ring, staring at each other. The crowd went bonkers as the former Shieldmates stared each other down as the show went off the air.
It was a good match, but it never really took off. You knew Jericho wasn’t going to win the title, so you kept waiting for a tricky finish. It was a decent match, but you knew Reigns was coming out on top.
Segment/Match Quality- 7/10 Boo’s
Best Segment/Match of the Night- Mick Foley, JeriKO, and Roman Reigns
How good is Chris Jericho? No, no, no, I said. HOW GOOD IS CHRIS JERICHO? He made a list, and if you made the list, it was a bad thing. That got over. It got over, and as a heel, Jericho swerved the crowd by saying that they didn’t deserve to be on the list. He got a list over, and then he got being on the list over. Even Roman Reigns couldn’t ruin this fantastic segment.
Worst Segment/Match of the Night- Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows
This match was everything that hardcore wrestling fans hate about the WWE. It was a stupid gimmick, and having a guy half his size get the win after hitting one move was ridiculous. Gallows was a three-time IWGP Tag Team Champion, and he lost clean to Enzo Amore. He was almost booked better as Festus.
Show Quality- 3/10 Boo’s
The WWE has no idea how to handle the holidays. Usually the Thanksgiving and Christmas episodes are the worst, but I don’t know how they’re going to top this. This episode was like trick or treating and getting a toothbrush. You did more than you had to, and you had great intentions, but ultimately, man, parts of this show sucked and I’m going to egg Vince McMahon‘s house. Fortunately, they didn’t stick with Halloween for too long, and it ended up being an adequate show.
Read More: Monday Night Raw Review (10/24/16)
