Welcome back to Quick Slant, the column that sorts through hundreds of headlines and brings you only the best, most interesting and downright stupid the NFL has to offer. The NFL is a smorgasbord of awesome storylines; some are analytical, others are critical, and some are just down right stupid. It’s the stupid ones I live for – they make my day. I try to offer my own take on the story in as few words as possible – some of us have a wife, kids and a job and don’t have time to read 5000+ word novels! So, without further ado, I give you today’s version of Quick Slant:
You’re gonna love this one – Kevin Kolb has come on record saying of his new found home in Western New York, “I’m here to win the Superbowl. Period”. So he, Kevin Kolb, is supposed to be the quarterback that will take the Buffalo Bills from the longest playoff drought in the NFL to the Superbowl? Oh dear, I need some Excedrine (and a pint)……Just because we can’t get enough of Tebowmania (ugh, I hate that word – sorry), it’s reported Timmy T will be participating in Jets’ voluntary practices despite his, umm, “uncertain” future with the club. I can’t wait for the circus – though I hate clowns……Doesn’t it seem like everyone wants to suck some money from the NFL lately? We all know about the lawsuit filed by some 4200 former players and their families against the NFL for having concealed evidence of long-term brain damage caused by concussions. Well, there is another group, this comprised of a group of retired players for publicity rights. The league is offering a settlement of $50mill. In related news, I have been in contact with my lawyer to launch official lawsuits against the Steelers (whom I love, by the way) for their bumblebee uniforms, and against the Jaguars for blowing chunks……Just when it looked like the league was out of hot water concerning how teams questioned players’ sexual orientation during combine interviews, the New York State Attorney General‘s office says Goodell and co. ‘Got a lot of explainin’ to do’ (I’m paraphrasing)! Jeez, who knew being the at the top would be this tough, eh Rog?……I’ll leave you with some draft news – Does anyone else think Nate Montana should consider changing his last name? Perhaps Nate Wyoming or Nate Dakota or something. No good can possibly come from this. Yes, it has resulted in him visiting the Cowboys, but the potential for a huge, huge “Well, he’s not his father” is monumental. Okay, he played a bit for Notre Dame – but not when they were good! Virginia Wesleyan where he ended up (I googled it) is a far cry from playing in the NFC East.
On a separate note, LWOS offers condolences to the family of the late Jack Pardee – a legendary linebacker and coach who lost his battle with cancer.
That does it for today. Check back tomorrow and I’ll have sifted through the day’s headlines and give you what you need to know.
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