Darling, please excuse me over the next six weeks as you will unfortunately be a rugby widow. You see, it is Rugby World Cup time again… I may have selective hearing during game time, so if I don’t hear you when you talk, please write your question on a piece of paper and paste it on the refrigerator. I am sure to see it when I go grab a beer at half time. I will respond to your note if you leave a pen handy.
I sincerely apologise that you will be missing your soap operas during this important time as I put the television to good use. I am sure your favourite character will still be in a coma when the Rugby World Cup is over so you won’t miss too much. Maybe we can record them? All I ask is that we have spare television remote batteries available at all times… just in case.
If my mood is not great over the next month or so, please do appreciate how important it is that I do well in my Rugby World Cup Fantasy Leagues. My reputation is at stake here, so if I get it wrong I may be a bit tetchy at times. That lady from Uruguay beat me during the 2011 Rugby World Cup and I cannot allow this to happen again.
I will have a couple of mates over at this time to watch the games as well, so our stash of crisps, biltong and pretzels might take a bit of a knock. Sorry about that. My mates might also leave a mess in the house after the game, but supporting our team is serious business so please understand if the TV room looks like a bomb site. The mate that looks like a girl is actually a girl, but she is only a rugby mate. Promise.
I apologise in advance for some of the colourful language you might hear around the house during game time, but it is not my fault. It is the ref’s fault. If he would just understand the offside line and be able to see a forward pass in front of him that we can see from thousands of kilometers away then there would be no need for any swearing.
I also promise that I will catch up on the gardening straight after the final, except if the Springboks win. Then I might need a week to recover first. After their performance against Japan though, it looks like I may be back to the gardening earlier than planned.
Note: A parody not to be taken seriously
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