Sports. Honestly. Since 2011

CM Punk is not going to TNA… but what if he did?

There are few fantasy scenarios less likely than CM Punk signing in TNA.

CM Punk actually worked for TNA back in 2004. It was likely Raven’s doing as Punk was working a feud in Ring of Honor with Raven around the time he came in as a part of his faction The Gathering. Punk tag teamed with Julio Dinero and came down to the ring often with a young Mickie James (named Alexis Laree).  Punk quit TNA when they were no longer allowing wrestlers work in both ROH and TNA.

2004 was a long time ago, but Punk hasn’t been shy about his discontent with the TNA Wrestling product. TNA has also had a few examples of trying to make a buck off Punk’s name. They originally pushed their TNA Vault service by saying you could watch “The Best of CM Punk”. When the former Luke Gallows joined TNA, Mike Tenay made sure to say he used to be the bodyguard for former world champions. TNA also made sure to make some of Punk’s old TNA matches free on YouTube after he quit the WWE.

Moreover, it doesn’t seem like CM Punk is so against the WWE product he’d be willing to go into the world of Dixie Carter. He seems far more exhausted of his wrestling schedule than anything. His best chance to make money and gain exposure is in the WWE. And wouldn’t he show up in ROH if he was going to do anyone a favour?

But why live in reality? Why be held down to the expectations of reality? Stranger things have happened before. William Shatner once tag teamed with Bret Hart. The Miz walked out of a Wrestlemania as WWE champion. Scooby Doo was once carried by Triple H. TNA once had two identical twins and put masks on them. Anything can happen in professional wrestling!

So let’s say CM Punk calls up Dixie Carter and says, “I’m available to come to TNA.” How does it get done?

The first is with a press conference. Get everyone watching. Treat Punk like he’s Hulk Hogan in 1994. Throw a god damn parade in Chicago. At the press conference you announce that Punk’s first match in TNA Wrestling will be against none other than Samoa Joe in what will be called “Punk vs. Joe: 2014”. The men shake hands and have Punk talk about this is right for his career and right for wrestling. Hold it in Chicago of course for the biggest possible crowd. You just let those two work their magic in a big moment. Punk could then move onto a feud with someone like Austin Aries, whose career paralleled Punk’s in TNA and once lost the ROH World Title to the Straight Edge Saviour. You hold Punk away from the TNA World Heavyweight championship until you can have him main event Bound for Glory for the title for you. Is it going to be an obvious win? Sure but who cares?

The second is making it a secret. Magnus is still TNA World heavyweight champion. Dixie Carter is starting to take power back. MVP looks like he’s going to lose his control. MVP makes a call. He’s going all in. He has one last power move before Dixie gets control back. He can decide the number one contender. He says he made the call and “broke the bank” but it’s fine because he’s confident to go all in. If Magnus wins this time, Dixie takes back 100% control and MVP leaves TNA. If the secret opponent wins, Dixie must give up her power conquest. Keep the decision secret. No hints. That Sunday night, CM Punk tweets, “What is everyone up to Sunday night?” It’s just get enough to get people talking but people will still be in denial. Don’t worry about this buyrate, it’s all about the buzz after. Magnus gets to the ring waiting for his opponent. Lights go out. What sounds like Miseria Cantare by AFI begins to play but slides into something else. A spotlight comes on and there he is: CM Punk. Magnus loses his shit. The crowd loses their shit. Punk gets to the ring and the match is on. After a hard fought match, Magnus proving he can hold his own, Magnus still leans on cheating ways. But the TNA locker comes to the ring and makes sure antics don’t happen. The entire babyface roster circling the ring. Maybe re-create some Attitude Era fire by having the BroMans try to sneak into the ring, only for the Wolves to cut them off. Punk takes Magnus to the top, hits the Pepsi Plunge and gets the win. New TNA World heavyweight champion. Samoa Joe, MVP and the Wolves raise Punk high up with the TNA World heavyweight Title. Now everyone knows what happened Sunday. People will be rushing to find the replay. More importantly, they’ll be watching SpikeTV next Thursday.

Fantasy booking is nice, but what about the actual implications? CM Punk is maybe the only wrestler today that could get WWE diehards to watch TNA. They wouldn’t call Punk a sellout but actually ask what’s going on in the WWE to make Punk leave for the inferior competitor. If that’s the case, Punk’s entrance would have to be more than just a wrestler coming in. TNA would have to think long and hard about maybe changing their image entirely to support the buzz they would get with Punk in the company. Maybe they could finally change their name to Impact Wrestling instead of the weak attempt they’ve done so far? Maybe a roster re-haul including the entry of Colt Cabana? TNA would become Punk’s playground and it would be important to not only keep him happy, but make it a company he can respect to defend and promote. “I’m not in WWE” Punk will have to tell people. “I’m somewhere better.” Punk would be a movement in TNA Wrestling. He wouldn’t create a brand new war or anything, but he’d be worth the amount of money he’d cost to bring new eyes, new appeal and new life to the TNA brand.

Punk in TNA might be the only thing to make some WWE fans question their devout loyalty to the WWE. Even for just a minute. That sort of power is priceless. And just a fantasy. But it’s fun to think about the few things that could turn wrestling on its head in the 21st century.

Thank you for reading. Please take a moment to follow me on Twitter – @AaronWrotkowski. Support LWOS by following us on Twitter – @LastWordOnSport – and “liking” our Facebook page.

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