Great to be back again this week. I’ve made it through another year without getting fired – my Dwayne Casey model for success has played out very nicely. Now, in case you missed them, here’s what’s been making headlines this past week in the world of pro sports:
NFL – DOG DAY AFTERNOON
I read something interesting earlier – statistically, you have a 1 in 1 million chance of dying while in a bathtub. You know what’s even less likely than that? Tony Romo completing a pass to a teammate in the fourth quarter.
Yes, the Green Bay Packers kept their playoff hopes alive by overcoming a 26-3 halftime deficit to beat the Cowboys. The last time I saw something collapse that quickly, I was watching news coverage about the Greek economy.
I don’t understand why everyone keeps defending Romo. I mean, everyone acknowledges how talented he is, but he’s becoming defined by all the gaffs he continually makes. He’s basically the Kanye West of the NFL.
Five division leaders lost on Sunday, which complicates matters a bit. Right now, I have an easier time understanding that interpreter from the Nelson Mandela funeral than the NFL playoff picture.
NBA – THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING
Kobe Bryant has another serious injury – this time it’s a fracture in his knee. Mere moments after the news broke, many Laker fans were also placed on the disabled list with fractured hearts.
Portland guard Damian Lillard hit two game winners this week. I haven’t seen a player this skilled with last-minute daggers since LeBron stuck one in Cleveland’s back.
Speaking of amazing performances, Joe Johnson put up 29 third quarter points against the 76ers. To celebrate, Jason Kidd bought his entire coaching staff large sodas for the fourth quarter.
Chandler Parsons was spotted in a recent ad for Buffalo jeans. He’s a white guy who plays in the NBA, thereby demonstrating Buffalo’s enthusiastic support for minority groups.
Many NBA scouts have now put Jabari Parker ahead of Canadian phenom Andrew Wiggins as the #1 pick in next year’s draft. Many Canadian basketball fans were outraged – and when I say outraged, they politely phoned the scouts and asked they wanted a maple-flavoured fruitcake this holiday season.
NHL – HARD TIMES
Here’s an amazing story: a Washington Capitals fan was struck in a head with a puck, suffered a severe gash above her eye and yet refused stitches so she could stay and watch the overtime period. See, this is the kind of toughness that the Maple Leafs need in their own zone.
Toronto, of course, suffered yet another loss at the hands of the lowly Florida Panthers. Despite this, GM Dave Nonis says he’s not even contemplating firing the head coach. Instead, he’s contemplating firing all of his top six defensemen.
Boston forward Milan Lucic is reportedly “done” defending his hometown of Vancouver. After watching him play last week, I thought he was kind of just “done” defending period.
Talk about a young goalie’s stock rising quickly – Kings rookie Martin Jones is now 6-0 to start his NHL career. The last time I saw a complete unknown rise to prominence that quickly, people were actually paying money for Rebecca Black’s “Friday” single.
Speaking of the Kings, head coach Daryl Sutter says he’d like to see the penalty box eliminated altogether. Instead, a player has to spend two minutes on a New York Islander’s penalty kill.
SOCCER – FAREWELL, MY LOVELY
Former Tottenham star Jermaine Defoe was reportedly persuaded to join Toronto FC by native rap star Drake. It’s kind of like the formers hit song – started at the top and now I’m here?
NCAA HOOPS – THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
Southern Illinois men’s basketball coach Barry Hinson ripped into his players after a loss to Murray State, calling his players “uncoachable”. He even said his wife could score more than his big men. In fairness though, I think it must be said that the Salukis’ front line can all bake a better apple pie than Mrs. Hinson.
AND FINALLY …
On a more serious note, this will be my last installment of Fish on Sports until the New Year. Here’s to wishing you all a very happy holidays and nothing but the best in the coming year!
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