Great to be back again this week. Here’s what everyone’s been talking about this week in the world of pro sports:
NFL – EVERYBODY BLAMING EVERYBODY
In the biggest game of the week, the Broncos handed the Chiefs their first loss of the season. To his credit, Andy Reid said he really appreciated his team’s effort – not during the game of course, but for making sure he got his Krispy Kremes afterwards.
Fans are applauding Peyton Manning’s ability to guide the team to victory while playing on a severely injured ankle. Did you see the size of the brace he was wearing? Team doctors told me you could fit about five Wes Welkers in there.
Speaking of Wes Welker, the guy who used to pass to him, Tom Brady, is insisting that the Patriots got hosed by the refs during their Monday night tilt against the Panthers. It was all very controversial – almost as controversial as which haircut suits Brady the best.
Colts running back Trent Richardson recently told reporters “I think I’ve been playing good”. I agree with him – his on-field performance is definitely gooder than his performance with the English language.
The Virginia DMV is investigating photos that were taken of a Cowboys fan’s “F RG3” license plate earlier this week. Things got even more awkward when they found out the car is registered in Mike Shanahan’s name.
NBA – NETS HAVE GOT 99 PROBLEMS, AND J-KIDD IS ONE
A rival scout has stated that Nets head coach Jason Kidd “does nothing” during games. I think he’s just trying to fit in – I mean, it’s not like the players on his team do anything during games either.
The Nets are currently last place in the Atlantic division. They also have league’s highest team payroll at $187 million. The last time I saw someone spend that much money on a lackluster product,
Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade has signed a deal with Fox to produce a half-hour sitcom about his life as a single dad. I’ve heard the working title is “Two and a Half Icepacks per Knee”.
Kobe is reportedly “very close” to returning to game action. Honestly, if he wanted more people in Los Angeles to watch his comeback, he’d have signed up for “Dancing with the Stars”.
That last joke may seem harsh to Laker fans, but it’s true: attendance is down at their home games. It’s gotten so bad that Jack Nicholson has started heckling the refs at Sparks’ timeouts instead.
NHL – CANADA-RUSSIA TOGETHERNESS
Early oddsmaker polls have Canada and Russia as co-favorites to win Olympic gold in men’s hockey. Putin even went on record saying it’s fine if male athletes share the pre-competition number one ranking, as long as they don’t hold hands while doing it.
Is anyone else tired of Russia’s anti-gay nonsense? I mean, the only thing less secure than Putin’s relationship with the gay community is Gary Kubiak’s job as Houston Texans head coach.
The Washington Capitals are looking like a real contender this year. In fact, the only thing scarier than their explosive offense right now is an in-game close-up on Ovechkin’s Movember stache.
MLB – TEXAS TWO-STEP
Big MLB trade news: the Detroit Tigers have agreed to trade Prince Fielder to the Texas Rangers. Now, instead of everything, only the first baseman is bigger in Texas.
The odd part about that joke is that I heard Fielder has become a vegan. I think it’s great – nice to see him trying to take care of his body and get his weight back down to triple figures again.
There could be even more blockbuster trades on the horizon. I’m hearing that Brian Cashman is trying to trade A-Rod for some good publicity.
AND FINALLY …
Jack Taylor, who plays basketball for Division III Grinnell College, dropped 109 points in a victory last Sunday. In fact, the only guy who can score better than him on a drive is Kanye West in his “Bound2” music video.
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