Pro wrestling will never be logically perfect. You will always have to suspend your disbelief. All of modern pro wrestling is predicated on you suspending your disbelief on the logic of an Irish whip. Why doesn’t a wrestler just stop running? Because that ruins the flow and pacing of the match and just turns it into a worked MMA fight. But not all logic should just be ignored, and there’s five gimmick match stipulations I feel need a fix.
Whenever I watch a gimmick match, I apply what I call the Royal Rumble 94 rule to it. What happened at the Royal Rumble in 1994? The Undertaker squared off against Yokozuna in a casket match. Since casket matches were no disqualification, Yokozuna’s manager Mr. Fuji took it upon himself to invite all of the top WWF heels at the time to make run-ins and beat down the Undertaker, allowing Yokozuna to cruise to an easy victory (of course, it wasn’t that easy. Complain all you want about John Cena but Undertaker was doing pretty well for himself in a dozen to one beatdown) and lock Taker into the casket. Undertaker eventually got his comeuppance because one Chuck Norris was tough enough to keep the entire WWF heel roster at bay at Survivor Series 1994.
So what’s the rule? Basically, if your match allows a loophole for 12 guys to just run in and beat your adversary down, it makes no sense as to why every heel (especially the rich heels that boast being able to buy off the roster) wouldn’t do this. Especially heels in factions. We saw this played with in some of the Nexus matches but never to its full advantage. I’m applying this rule to gimmick matches in order to find the holes and fix them with some wrestling logic any fan could understand.
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Royal Rumble/Battle Royal Matches: The Bottom Rope Strategy
At WWE Battleground 2014, fans groaned as The Miz made an obvious ploy to roll outside the ring and stay on the outside while everyone else fought in the Intercontinental Title Battleground battle royal. The cameras even made it obvious as Dolph Ziggler seemed to win, only to be tossed out by Miz. This has been employed many times, once in an actually effective fashion at the Royal Rumble in 2011 when Santino Marella made it seem as though Alberto Del Rio didn’t really win. It was, however, exposed to great lengths at possibly the worst Royal Rumble of all time in 1999, when both Stone Cold Steve Austin and Vince McMahon slid underneath the bottom rope and distracted viewers from the entire Rumble match by fighting on the outside and everywhere in the arena, only to return for the finish.
The Fix: The Royal Rumble 94 rule doesn’t necessarily apply to this, but what’s stopping every heel from slipping to the outside and letting the babyfaces battle it out instead? And if the babyfaces did follow, what kind of Royal Rumble match is there when nobody is actually in the ring to run the risk of an elimination? There are two ways to fix this. First is to employ a simple 10 Count Rule to anyone who goes outside of the ring. This allows the match to follow standard wrestling procedure. If you are outside of the ring from the bottom rope, you have 10 seconds to re-enter. This would stop a guy like Miz from spending an eternity on the outside and alert competitors of a guy getting a 10 count from the floor. There’s even a referee on the outside to check for these things. Another way to fix would be applying the Off the Feet Rule to anyone on the outside. In other words, if you are being thrown from outside of the ring? Both feet must touch the floor. But if you are on the outside already with both feet on the floor and you get knocked off your feet, flat on your back or stomach? You are now eliminated. This allows a babyface like Sheamus to slip under the bottom rope, catch up to Miz and blast with him a lariat. Miz goes off his feet? Miz is eliminated.
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Steel Cage Matches: The Escape the Cage Flaw
The escape the cage rule is one of the most immersion breaking stipulations in pro wrestling. Popularized by the WWF, the problem is two fold. First of all, why are babyfaces running from the heels? Nothing takes me out of an otherwise great match like the cage match between Bret Hart and Owen Hart like seeing Bret lunge for the cage door or try to get out of the cage. The second problem is why haven’t we seen two wrestlers just immediately turn it into a speed/agility challenge and immediately high tail for opposite sides of the cage to try and escape first?
And don’t get me started on that stupid door. The door is why this match suffers from the Royal Rumble 94 rule. What’s stopping a dozen guys from filling the ring, beating down the babyface and letting the heel just saunter out? Nothing really. It’s a no DQ match. It’s also pretty established that anyone who is good enough to climb the cage can get into the ring, so that once again allows the rule to reign.
The Fix: First would be to just completely abolish the escape rule. No escape. You have to make your opponent tap out or be pinned to win the match. Escaping the cage does nothing for you. Especially if they go ahead and like the battle royals, re-institute the 10 count. You could also specialize the escape stipulation and make it so the only way the heel could win is to run away and the only way for the babyface to win is by pinfall or submission. This allows the psychology to make sense. But what about the Royal Rumble 94 rule? Pretty simple. If you curve the tops of a cage just a little bit, you make it exceptionally dangerous to try and climb up and out. Heck, even sharpen the ends of the cage so it looks like a death trap and wrestlers would know to never try and enter. And if wrestlers try to enter from the locked cage door? Have referees standing and ready to throw them out.
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Royal Rumble/Battle Royal Matches: The Unwanted Guest/Eliminated Wrestler Flaw
Back to the Rumble? You bet. Whether it was Hogan helping eliminate Sid Justice, Austin getting back into the ring to eliminate Bret Hart, Christian dressed like Chris Jericho so Jericho could eliminate Shawn Michaels or HBK that same match returning to eliminate Chris Jericho, it doesn’t matter. Both situations ruin the logic of a battle royal. If all that matters is the guy is eliminated, what is stopping the Royal Rumble 94 rule and having a dozen guys run into the ring and toss out every guy who comes in? Nothing. Combine it with the under the rope flaw and you got a perfect situation for a heel to come in at #1, roll under the ropes, sip a latté by commentary and watch as his seven samurai’s rush the ring and have a seven on one advantage on every guy who comes out from #3 to #30. Same goes with a Battle Royal as those seven rush the ring and overflow the ring until bodies come spilling out. And what is also stopping every guy who was just eliminated to hang around the ring like its WWF No Mercy for the Nintendo 64 and just mess with everyone left in the ring? Nothing, yet at least.
The Fix: If you were last touched by someone who wasn’t in the Rumble or Battle Royal and get eliminated? The elimination does not count. This means it doesn’t matter if you get tossed out a 100 times. If you were getting tossed by Virgil who wasn’t in the match instead of Ted DiBiase who was? It doesn’t count. You’re still in the match, even after touching the floor. That would stop the strategy from ever being used, and allow wrestlers to try and instead argue they were last touched by a guy not in the match. A much easier allegation to deal with.
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Ladder Matches: The Unwanted Climber
We’ve seen it from Vickie Guerrero to Lita to Rhyno to Hornswoggle to Ricardo Rodriguez. The valet, manager, bodyguard, girlfriend, whatever to someone in the ladder match tries to climb the ladder to grab the title or briefcase for their ally. We haven’t seen that lead to a finish yet, but it’s a great example for the Royal Rumble 94 rule. When Syxx-Pac fought Chris Jericho in a ladder match in WCW, what was stopping him from telling the entire New World Order to come run into the match, beat down Jericho and let Syxx climb up? Or Syxx to beat up Jericho while Scott Hall and Kevin Nash run to the ring with a ladder of their own, climb it and then wait for Syxx to be free to just hand him the WCW Cruiserweight Title? Absolutely nothing. And that’s a problem.
The Fix: The only people who should be climbing said ladder are the competitors in the match. It might be a big difficult to handle in a ladder match, but one just needs to have a referee enter the ring any time someone who doesn’t belong in the match gets into the ring. You can’t grab the McGuffin up top if you’re not inside the ring so just keep everyone outside to the outside. Also stipulate that anyone who touches what’s hanging that isn’t in the match? The match is immediately ruled a no contest. That’ll keep any heel from trying to get his buddies involved. He needs to be the one touching the strap.
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No Disqualification Match: Control the Free Market
Somehow down the line of the wrestling business, the stipulations to “No disqualification” became the same as “No Holds Barred”. In a no disqualification match, the match cannot be thrown out based on your actions. In a no holds barred match, or an unsanctioned match, the idea was that the referees were only there to decide a winner and all of your actions were completely fair game. I’m all for a no holds barred match or an unsanctioned match going ahead and allowing the Royal Rumble 94 rule to happen. But a no disqualification match? No sir. It’s time to put some stipulations on the free market of the no disqualification match.
The Fix: You cannot be disqualified from YOUR OWN ACTIONS but you can be disqualified if someone else interferes ON YOUR BEHALF. What does this mean? No more run-in’s? Not necessarily. No more referee accepted run-ins. Oh, your buddy can come in from behind the referee’s back still (since this also garners the most heat anyway) but you can’t beat up the babyface in front of everyone. To have no disqualification stipulated only protects you from yourself, not the match itself. But then why not just request an unsanctioned match? That’s the kicker. Why would that sort of thing be even allowed? You have to build a storyline reason why. It’s the babyfaces themselves now taking such a risk instead of it just being an enforced upon stipulation.
Are there any other match stipulations you feel could use some holes plugged? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter, hashtag #rumble94rule
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