By now, anyone who follows college football knows that the SEC builds its brand bigger than any other conference in the country. We are treated to four days of coaches standing behind a podium answering relatively mundane media questions for 30 minutes, followed by a player or two from each team, before they head out to answer more of the same from the live TV networks. There will be plenty of time to dissect what teams must do to replace departed players, where they need shoring up, etc. For now, the circus came to town and let’s enjoy some highlights of the show:
Les Miles, LSU: among the quirkier coaches in the country and worth every moment of mic time. Whereas most coaches start their time by reviewing last season, or discussing what to expect this season, Miles opened up by giving us a recap of his summer vacation, like a 3rd-grader reporting back to the first day of school. For the record, he and the family went to Austin, Texas for two weeks and, while he admitted the city was nice, he hated the trip because he wanted a hotel where you can walk right out to the beach and the ocean. And in case you were wondering, his son caught World Cup fever and played many hours of pick up soccer games with friends and his daughter is becoming quite the accomplished softball pitcher. Like all SEC schools, LSU has scheduled some cream puffs for out-of-conference games, but give Miles credit for opening the season at a neutral venue versus Wisconsin. Here is hoping your Summer vacation was restful, Les.
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt: props to Mason for adding some style to the event by coming in a houndstooth jacket and bow tie. Having been the defensive coordinator at Stanford before taking the Vanderbilt job this year, Mason talked about why he is the right fit to maintain academic integrity while trying to raise the football standards. The biggest thing Mason talked about was elevating the program above the 9 win per season mark. Sounds good, coach. And hey, I noticed how your out-of-conference schedule should help guarantee 9 wins. Home games against Charleston Southern, Old Dominion, Temple and Umass. Seriously? Seriously? At an average season ticket price of $351 + annual donation per seat, you should expect plenty of people to ask for refunds.
Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M: he was asked by a credentialed media member, what it will be like to not coach Johnny Manziel. Huh??? Was Manziel the only QB Sumlin has ever coached? Did I miss part of his career? While we’re at it, why don’t we ask what it’s like to not coach Tom Brady or Peyton Manning?
Bret Bielema, Arkansas: started his time by thanking the media for the hard work they do and pledging to do what he can to make their jobs easier. Then he took a jab at them; “Every game is won or lost, but a lot of times, teams lose a game before you win it. If you don’t understand, it’s probably why you don’t coach.” Media relations 101 with Bret Bielema.
Gus Malzahn, Auburn: starting quarterback Nick Marshall got popped for possession of marijuana last weekend. Malzahn knew that would be a big topic. Forget that you played for the national title in January, let’s discuss your QB and pot. Malzahn said as punishment, Marshall was being withheld from SEC Media Days. Yeah, because a day trip to Hoover Alabama to hang out with the media is high on every college players wish list.
Dan Mullen, Mississippi State: the one coach who tried to justify having some walkovers on the schedule, without using the rigors of the SEC schedule as the rationale. Mullen said if they play west of the SEC territory, players parents wont be able to go watch them. So all of your players are recruited from within a 100 mile radius of Starkville? Really?
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina: the media event is four days long. Spurrier deserves his own day. Whereas Miles may be like open mic night at the Improv, Spurrier is calculating with everything he says. Spurrier openly discussed the one thing that makes coaches cringe…Boosters. He called them the owners of the program because of the money they donate and had no qualms about talking about the two week trip he took the Bahamas with one of them this Summer, (Beats Austin, huh Les Miles?). But Spurrier saved his best shots for Nick Saban and Alabama. He doubled down on an earlier comment that with five top recruiting classes, Nick Saban must be the greatest recruiter in the history of college football and insisted Bama be the favorite to win the national title every year. Translation: Any year you don’t win it all Nick, consider it a failure. Spurrier also discussed his lack of SEC titles at South Carolina; “Fortunately our fans realize there is more to life than winning a SEC championship. Most of them would rather beat Clemson every year.” Translation: Alabama fans, get over yourselves. Spurrier also felt compelled to cover topics such as what it was like to coach in the USFL, the tragedy of Texas not playing Texas A&M anymore,Kevin Sumlin’s contract negotiating skills and a brief history of Davey Crocket’s role at the Alamo, (Spurrier and Crockett both being native Tennesseans).
Nick Saban, Alabama: Bama has had its share of off the field player problems since January. So Saban chose to use his opening statement to go on a rambling, five-and-a-half minute soliloquy about discipline, changing behavior, how people control their impulses and how there is a great “disparity in cultural behavior more than at any time in the past.” Nick might want to check in with guys who coached in the ’60’s and early ’70’s, but everyone was still trying to figure out where he was going with this. People got so turned around they forgot the questions they intended to ask. He did mention that after going 11-2 last year the team needs to find its identity. Yeah 11-2 will do that. Check with Coach Spurrier. He can help with your identity issues.
There were enough moments of public high wire acts to fill three more columns. But that is life in the SEC. If the actual season comes even close to the spunk of a week of media days, this will be a great season to watch.
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