Last week Chael Sonnen, one of the best self-promoters in mixed martial arts, retired. Since then I’ve been logging through YouTube, trying to come up with the best way to cover his legacy. Than I rediscovered this gem from the pre-fight hype to his rematch with Anderson Silva and was inspired to write this piece. Sonnen was no ordinary fighter, and he deserves no ordinary farewell.
The bad guy, the gangster, hailing from West Linn,
Where, or where, did this journey begin?
We could start on the wrestling mats, way back in college,
But you’re not famous for your sociology knowledge.
Or may we begin with SportFight or Bodog? Maybe even the WEC?
There’d still be no inkling of the star you would be.
No, it was a call from Uncle Dana, the one that brought you to the dance,
And the notion of fighting for a gold belt, and not the kind that held up your pants.
From there Miller, Okami, and Marquardt would soon fall,
Before you set your sights on the one they call the greatest of all.
You poked and you prodded, no issue you wouldn’t discuss,
Even brought up that time his coaches fed a carrot to a bus.
The champ played it cool, as if he couldn’t be bothered to care,
He signed on the dotted line though, and soon enough 117 was here.
From the bell you charged forward, we couldn’t believe our eyes,
Was the Spider really broken? Had you shattered the disguise?
But with less than two to go, with a flick of the wrist,
Your hopes were shattered, gone in the mist.
At first we were in denial, it was four and a half rounds of smother,
We couldn’t wait until you two got the chance to do it again, brother.
Still you remained undefeated, undisputed you said,
No matter what happened when the Spider wrapped his legs ’round your head.
He didn’t really win you see, it was a simple choke,
You may have tapped, but it was he who broke.
There were still some battles to go, both in the cage and courtroom,
Before you could confront Silva’s specter, as it continued to loom.
The rematch finally happened, but alas it was all for naught,
This time it was decisive, not just getting caught.
The chase was over, from middleweight you would go,
But the curtains were not ready to close on The Chael Sonnen Show.
You had a few more fights, even a win against Shogun,
But the bout against Wanderlei, that was to be your home run.
Yet that fight won’t happen, though we do wish it would,
And now you’re stepping away from the fight game for the sake of fatherhood.
There are no worries though, we saw the brawl on TUF, you’re going out with a win,
So long for now bad guy, until we see you again.
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