Every once in a while, a professional wrestler comes along with such captivating charisma that they develop followers, both outside the ring and inside it. When this happens it is usually a group of banded together heroes or maybe even one lone warrior who decides to fight against these cults and their leaders, but what were to happen if two of these factions squared off against one another? Today, I hope to answer that question in regards to two of WWE’s most prolific cults of all time: The Wyatt Family and The Straight Edge Society. Before we head to the ring, let’s examine the participants shall we?
The Wyatt Family: Describing the Wyatt Family would likely be easier if their agenda was more clear, but the truth of the matter is, we know very little about this group of disheveled individuals. What we do know about them is that they employ a severe smash mouth style that almost seems kamikaze in nature. Together, they are one of the strongest forces in WWE currently, and that is meant both figuratively and literally as all three members – Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Eric Rowan are powerhouse wrestlers who use their size to gain advantage on their victims.
We would be remiss however if we did not mention the psychological edge The Wyatt Family has over their opposition. Intimidation and mind games are the greatest weapon in their arsenal and they use it the way a samurai would use a katana blade: with deadly precision. Regardless of if they’re facing a trio like The Shield or a mega star like John Cena, The Wyatts get in your head and destroy you from within.
Of course, every faction has a weak spot in their armor. In the case of the Wyatts, the area where they struggle most is improvisation. Once their attack plan goes out the window, The Wyatts are often found scrambling and trying to recover. Because of this, men who are able to adapt and adjust at a moment’s notice (like Daniel Bryan or John Cena) have been able to thwart their attempts in the past.
The Straight Edge Society: One nation. Under Punk. Indivisible. With integrity, and sobriety, for all. That pledge tells you all you need to know about the Straight Edge Society. Like The Wyatt Family, the Straight Edge Society has a clear leader who has chosen his disciples carefully. In the case of the SES, CM Punk chose to align himself with those who were in his words “sick” and “in need of healing”. He ended up choosing some pretty formidable followers in Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena. What makes them such a dangerous group is how well rounded they are. Punk is the crafty technician, Gallows is the brawny enforcer, Mercury is the risky high flyer, and Serena provides both inspiration for the SES as well as distraction for their opponents
The Straight Edge Society have an “us against the world” mentality, and more than that, they have a cause that they believe in completely. They honestly think they are better than you, or me, or anyone that gets in their way. This gives them a confidence that is almost unmatched in the history of WWE. No matter who the opponent was, be it Rey Mysterio, The Undertaker, or The Big Show, the singularity in their purpose helped them act with great cohesion, making them most dangerous when they worked together.
Oddly enough, their greatest strength is also one of their largest weaknesses, because if you were able to separate the Straight Edge Society, they were usually lost and susceptible to defeat. They relied so heavily on each other, that they epitomized the age old expression “United we stand, divided we fall”. Even in situations where they outnumbered their opposition, if the SES couldn’t stick it out together, they crumbled easily.
The Match: Let’s get something out of the way right now. This wouldn’t be a match, it would be a fight. Neither team has any qualms about brawling all over the arena if victory can be ensured, so expect a lot of leniency from the referee in this one.
I have a feeling that The Straight Edge Society would have the advantage early on, using quick tags to attack the Wyatts from all angles, with a variety of styles, leaving them feeling tired and damaged. It would be the best strategy they could use against a team that for the most part would out power them if paired off.
With the ball firmly in their court, the Straight Edge Society might start to build their confidence, which would likely back fire leading to a crucial mistake. The Wyatt’s would use that opportunity to first take control of the situation with an explosive attack and subsequently use double team maneuvers and mind games to swing the momentum in their favor by singling out one member of the SES and slowly begin to take them apart.
Not to be outdone, the Straight Edge Society would likely switch gears here and show they can play dirty when needed. A distraction from Serena could potentially lead to The Wyatts falling into a well planned trap by the SES. Of course, The Wyatts don’t take kindly to being made fools of, and likely would retaliate with an all out attack to try and take control again.
At this point in the match things would likely break down and all six men would pair off and start brawling in and around ringside. If I was to take a guess, Punk would have a plan for when this happened and would instruct Gallows to take out Rowan while Mercury went after Harper, leaving the two cult leaders to battle.
This would be the turning point. Both teams are tough enough to take a beating, so it will end up being a war of attrition. Who wins that war will come down to the philosophy of each team. The Wyatt Family members are agents of chaos. They will attack until their opponents have been destroyed, ignoring all other elements. Nothing will get in their way – not even each other. They believe they’re strong enough to win the war, even if they lose a few battles. Earlier I compared The Wyatts to a group of kamikaze pilots, willing to take out themselves in order to destroy their opposition. The Straight Edge Society tends to fall into the category of self-preservationists, doing what is necessary to keep the cause, and the group alive. They operate on a philosophy of all for one and one for all. That one is CM Punk. They don’t just believe in an idea, they believe in a man, and both Luke Gallows and Joey Mercury would do anything to protect that man, even sacrifice themselves.
With these philosophies in mind, I see Gallows and Mercury making an attempt to keep Punk safe at all costs. In doing so, they would ultimately end up being taken out, leaving the Straight Edge Savior alone with a pack of wounded and ticked off animals. As good and talented as Punk is, he just wouldn’t be able to fend off the onslaught forever and would eventually succumb to Sister Abigail, giving The Wyatt Family a hard fought victory.
Winners: The Wyatt Family
Some of you may agree with my analysis, some of you might think it’s completely inaccurate. Either way, let your voice be heard with #WyattsWin or #SESSucceeds. While you’re at it, tell me which #FightsOfFancy match ups you’d like to see. In the arena of the imagination, anything is possible!
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