Did I miss the memo? For there must have been some sort of discussion, a high level conversation in which alternatives were suggested, floated, weighed and found wanting. Because these things don’t just “happen”. This is Yankee Stadium after all. There are rules to follow. Standards to meet. Hoops to jump through.
Or put another way, we don’t wind up with “Native New Yorker” as NYCFC’s Anthem by accident. Someone thought that blasting this ode to disco-era Manhattan after NYCFC’s matches was a good idea.
I would like to meet that person and I would like to disabuse them of this notion.
When the Yankees, our 20% overlords, win, the Bronx is bathed in Frank Sinatra’s heroic choruses of “New York, New York”. Fun Fact: after losses, we used to get Liza Minelli’s version. Then she complained. Now we don’t get her at all. Tough luck, Liza.
But “New York New York” makes sense, right? It’s about this city, about the struggle to succeed here, about how it’s the pinnacle and if you can make it here, well, you know. And it’s sung by the Chairman, who, while technically not a native (he’s from Hoboken, where, coincidentally, the first baseball game was played), he’s still emblematic of this city in ways few others are. And anyway, Sinatra was Steinbrenner’s favorite, so you know, whatever the Boss wants.
But “Native New Yorker”? A disco hit from 1977? Quick quiz – who sang it? Anyone? Anyone? Odyssey. Who? And here’s another fun fact: Nobody on our roster was even alive when that song was a hit. Not even our theoretical midfielder, Famous Frank Lampard. Hell, it’s entirely possible that not even Jack Harrison’s PARENTS were alive when that song was burning up the airwaves (yes, kids, before digital, music was actually beamed through the air to our homes. That is, when it wasn’t being hand delivered by dinosaurs).
Look, I’m not beating up on the song, or the songwriters or even the group who rode it all the way to number 3 on the “Billboard Hot Dance Club Playlist”. They seem like lovely people, and you can see what they’re up to today here. But I believe that we should have something more relevant, celebratory, or at least less bizarrely absurd than a song that moans over lost love among the discos of a bygone era as NYCFC’s Anthem.
But what?
A quick search on Spotify gives you literally hundreds of songs to choose from that have the words “New York” in or near the title. But before we take a step further, we need some criteria.
First, NYCFC’s Anthem has to be singable – and singable at high volume (another vote against “Native New Yorker”, frankly. Are you really going to celebrate a victory over, say, the Red Bulls by screaming out the words “There you are lost in the shadows searching for someone…”? Yeah, me neither).
Second, the lyric content has to be celebratory, heroic, or in some way relevant. Look, there’s a REASON you get goosebumps when the Kop start singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” – and why you don’t when you hear “Native New Yorker”.
Third, there has to be some New York connection musically. Because we’re not talking about Mayberry, here. This is New York freakin’ City. The place has been the home of, and inspiration for, great musicians literally for centuries. Does the band or writer have to be born here? No, for like Sinatra, they can be transplants, even from the dreaded Garden State. But there has to be some connection. It’s about New York. Or it was recorded here. Or they moved here. Or it mentions Andrea Pirlo in the second verse. Something.
And fourth, I think it’s completely legitimate, the divine Ms. Minnelli notwithstanding, to have a “winning” song and a “losing” song. Could be completely different tunes. (My personal choice for NYCFC’s Anthem when we lose? “New York I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down” by LCD Soundsytem. Imagine 43,000 plus belting THAT one out on their way to Stan’s or the Four Train after letting another three points slip through our fingers.)
And as far as I can tell, that’s it.
And since no one asked any of us about selecting “Native New Yorker” as NYCFC’s Anthem, I’m not going to ask NYCFC about the replacement. I’m asking you.
So, what do YOU think NYCFC’s Anthem should be?
“Empire State of Mind”. Fine. Dylan’s “Tangled up in Blue”? Also doable. Parliament’s “Give Up the Funk”, Springsteen’s “Born to Run”, the Velvet Underground’s “White Light White Heat”? All great ideas. Hell, it could be “Epistrophy” by Thelonious Monk for all I care.
As long it’s not “Native New Yorker.” New York deserves better.
