Yes, I know it has been a couple moons since we have last seen each other. I’m not going to go all Adele on us, but it is quite good to be back. I’m looking forward to a new baseball season, new summer, and the same strong dislike for the defensive shift. Anyway, why I have gathered us all today is to address something that has become way out of hand. We must address what we call ourselves as fans. It’s becoming quite the epidemic.
Because the ol’ cliche”(Team Name) Nation” is beginning to get on my nerves…let’s take this time to reflect on the names we have chosen for ourselves as baseball fans. They suck…like a Dyson. But no fear, I have come up with new baseball fanbase names for all of us. So sit back and relax and please don’t flood my inbox with hate mail (I’m looking at you, Jerry).
New 2016 MLB Fanbase Names
Angels: The Believers
Astros: Est. 2015
A’s: At least we have the Raider…nevermind
The Blue Jays, Cardinals and Orioles are all members of the Audubon Society
Braves: The Infield Flies
Brewers: A Lil’ Tipsy
Cubs: The Centennials
D’Backs: Digging for Goldschmidt
Dodgers: Who invited this guy over?
Giants: Just sayin’ it’s an even year
Indians: We have a baseball team?
Mariners: Is it too late for Russell Wilson to play?
Marlins: The lols
Mets: Because the Yankees are sold out
Nationals: The Politicians
Padres: The Friars
Phillies: The Pride and Joy of Philadelphia
Pirates: ABANDON SHIP…after the All-Star Break of course
Rangers: Ron Washington’s Mustache
Red Sox: Tea in the Harbor
Reds: The Classiest Fans in Cincinnati
Rockies: Making mediocre hitters look great since 1995
Royals: The Subjects
Tigers: Slim Shady
Twins: Twinkee Cream Fillings
White Sox: The Curse of Shoeless Joe
Yankees: The Remember Whens
So with that being said, I know some of these will take a little bit of time to catch on. But I know us baseball fans, we can embrace who we truly are and wear these names with pride.
All in good fun guys… can’t wait to start 2016 with each and every one of you. You’ve been great sports! If you have any suggestions, comments, or recipes, or even if you just want to make fun of my hair, please do make use of the comment section below!