There are a lot of things one could say about NYCFC’s stunning victory in Vancouver on Saturday night; it was the first time they’d put together three wins in a row, it kept their playoff hopes alive, it was one of the few times the team looked like it was finally clicking on all cylinders, and it was obvious that Kendall Waston totally dove for Frank Lampard’s PK- the clearest case of “make-good” since Germany paid reparations to the Allies after World War One.
NYCFC & the Great White North
Or one could focus on the frankly bizarre fact that NYCFC is a freaking monster when it comes to playing teams from Canada. They are undefeated in Canada. They’re not even unbeaten on their own practice field. NYCFC have, as I outlined last week, only four road wins this season, but 75% of them occurred north of the border. (The only other team they have beaten on the road is Philadelphia, which we shall heretofore refer to as “The Canada of Pennsylvania”.) They’ve outscored our opponents in Canada 6-2 and are plus-3 when they come to the Bronx, where they are 2-1-1 against Canadian Clubs.
It’s nuts. Against the rest of the conference, NYCFC aren’t even close to that kind of domination. As of today, the Citizens are at .500 with 8 wins, 8 losses and 4 draws and +2 on goal differential. (How are they against the West? Let’s see… Whoa! Where are Chivas when you really need them?).
So with all of this in mind, I’d like to spend the rest of this piece talking directly to MLS Commissioner Don Garber.
I know you have a lot on your plate. The upcoming MLS cup. Keeping Minnesota and Atlanta on track. Untangling the ungodly mess Becks has gotten you into in South Beach. But I’ve got an idea that I think will make MLS into the global powerhouse you envision, able to compete with the great leagues around the world.
MLS needs more teams in Canada. Am I serious? Yes. Or, as they say in Canada: Yes.
Look what a tremendous success MLS in Canada has already been! All three teams look likely to make the playoffs. That’s a 100% success rate! If the teams in the U.S. could match that, then EVERY team would be in the playoffs. Though people might confuse us with the NHL, I suppose (fun fact: hockey is popular in Canada. You’re welcome.).
But it’s not just their league success – there’s international popularity. Top players from around the world are flocking to Canada. Drogba, Bradley, Giovinco, Piatti, Altidore, Morales all play north of the border. Who could be next? Perhaps a certain world-class player who grew up in a similar godforsaken northern hell-hole (no offense, Malmö) and who now plays for Paris Saint-Germain?
Canada! A happy nation of 35 million people who, with the exception of Blue Jays games and old SCTV reruns, are utterly starved for entertainment from the end of hockey season (in late June) to the start of hockey season (in early July)!
Imagine Eastern conference teams in Quebec City and St. Johns! Imagine Jermaine Jones running onto the pitch for a make-or-break conference match-up in a city older than Boston, but with one-sixth the population! (the press almost writes itself, doesn’t it, Mr. Commissioner?)
Imagine Western conference teams in Calgary and Winnipeg! Imagine the look on Kaka’s face when you tell him he has to leave sunny Orlando in March for a match in the Slurpee Capitol of the World (for 14 years running! Look it up!) where it’ll probably be around 21°. (um, Fahrenheit, not Celsius. Though I would save that clarification for until after the Brazilian has cleared customs.)
Now, the more cynical members of your office may think I’m making this plea simply to improve NYCFC’s chances.
But I’m only thinking of you and the legacy you’d leave! Expansion into Canada has been a dream of Americans since Benedict Arnold led an ill-fated mission north in 1775 (okay, bad example). Expand further into the Great White North and you would do what baseball and basketball have utterly failed at and which the NFL hasn’t had the cojones to even try (fun fact: “cojones” is French-Canadian slang for “carrying charges”).
Seize the instant time! Put expansion into Canada on the fast track and you’ll find yourself on that Sports Commissioner Mt Rushmore with Pete Rozelle, David Stern and, well, okay, that’s about it, really. And after that, can Sepp Blatter’s job be far behind? (The one heading up FIFA, not the one staffing a prison library).
If more teams in Canada just happens to help a certain team in the largest, most soccer-hungry, media-savviest market in the continental United States get into the post-season, well, that’s just something we’ll have to live with.
