Connor “Captain Redbeard” Gross is an American mixed-martial artist, fighting out of Brickhouse Fitness and MMA in Edgerton, Kansas. He is currently competing as an amateur in local promotions, and he makes ends meet by working at Michael Gross Plumbing, his family business located in Ottawa, KS.
Gross has also been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), which affects one in 68 people throughout America and around the world. Though there is no known “cure” for autism, it is best treated at a very young age, with speech therapy and many other physical and mental development programs. Visit autismspeaks.org for more information on ASD.
In a recent interview with Autism Speaks, Gross said, “It’s very hard to get yourself across, and you’re always second-guessing yourself. Your brain’s always telling you, ‘Don’t say this, you should say this,’ and then eventually you’re just like, well, I’m not even gonna talk.”
He also stated, “Whatever makes you happy you gotta go for it and find an outlet.” Connor was gracious enough to grant me an interview as well, and spoke on a variety of topics.
LWOS: First of all, thank you for your time Connor. This means a lot to me not just as an MMA fan, but also because my three-year-old son has also been diagnosed with ASD. I was inspired when I heard about you in the Autism Speaks interview! Let’s start with your background. Did you grow up in your birthplace of Massachusetts? Do you have any siblings or other close relatives?
CG: I lived in Natick, Massachusetts until I was about two-years-old. Natick is a place I will always call home even though I was not raised there. I will always call it home because that is where the majority of my family lives and we visit every year. The rest of my family lives here in Ottawa where I live now, and have since we moved from Massachusetts. I have one younger brother who is currently a senior at Ottawa High School.
LWOS: Most children with ASD don’t start walking or speaking as early as “typically developing children”. Do you know how long it took for you, and what steps were taken to help with these goals?
CG: According to my mother I started speaking at a very young age. She said that she knew I was different than other children because my first word wasn’t ‘mama’ or ‘dada’, but my first word was ‘grandfather’. She told me that I was able to carry on full conversations with adults when I was two and three. However, I only talked to family members — mostly her and my dad — and I felt shy and bashful around anyone that was not part of my immediate family.
I can remember when I started school that I didn’t socialize with anyone. In fact, I never really carried on a conversation with someone my own age until I was in the second grade.
My mom and I used to work on social skills together all of the time. She would drill everyday conversations with me, and make me talk to her as if she was someone other than my mother. Another thing that my mother and father did to help me with my autism was force me to look people in the eyes when I was talking to them.
Speech is very hard for me even to this day, and I have difficulty socializing with people and often don’t talk to them unless I am really comfortable with them. But once that happens it is almost impossible to shut me up.
LWOS: (laughs) What would you say to parents who worry that their autistic child might not ever develop typical speech or social skills?
CG: I would say work with your children as much as you can. Start with the basics, make them say hello to strangers and ask for things like directions and carry on simple conversations. As with anything, repetition is key and every little bit helps. Try not to label your children as weird or different, but wonderful and unique. Encourage them as much as you can.
LWOS: Absolutely. Were you ever bullied in or out of school because of your diagnosis? Do you have any advice for children who are bullied (for any reason)?
CG: I was bullied a lot in school, every day in fact. I grew up loving school, but I never understood why people picked on me because they didn’t understand me. I would rather not talk about the bullying, in fact I spent most of my life trying to forget the past and move on.
The only advice that I can give would be this: unfortunately you are going to have to deal with bullies in your life whether they harass you mentally or physically. You can’t stop other people from picking on you. The only thing that you have control over is your emotions. Try your hardest to ignore it and block it out. If you don’t react or give them attention they will eventually leave you alone. Bullies want to see you suffer and if you don’t allow them that release, they will eventually get bored and find a new target.
LWOS: Well put, Connor. What did you do for fun growing up? Any hobbies?
CG: I didn’t have a lot of hobbies as a child. I spent most of my time reading and being alone or watching TV. Other than that, I just pretty much built things with Legos or other toys.
LWOS: Did you play any sports in school? What would you say was your favorite?
CG: I didn’t really like playing sports. My parents had me play sports as an attempt to socialize with other children, and put me in almost every sport as a child. I played baseball, football, basketball, and soccer when I was young; but it wasn’t until my freshman year of high school that I got into sports and physical fitness. My freshman year I found wrestling and immediately fell in love with the sport.
I am not really sure why I loved it, but all I knew was that this was one thing that I could obsess over (a quality of autistic children). Wrestling became all that I thought about day in and day out, I literally dreamt and thought of new ways to take my opponent down every night. I dedicated all of my heart and soul to getting into shape and being the best that I could be.
LWOS: That’s great! It seems to be paying off. Who were your inspirations growing up?
CG: My role models throughout life were definitely my parents. No matter what happened, they were there for me and they were my friends. They were always there for me and they still are to this day.
LWOS: Excellent! What were some of your dream jobs throughout your life? Astronaut? Firefighter? President?
CG: I always saw myself as a construction worker or an architect. I loved to draw and build things as a kid, and to this day I continue to build models of buildings and various dioramas.
I started off going to Kansas State University (K State) for architecture but decided that it wasn’t for me. I still wanted to be in the construction field so I decided to become a plumber, which I was probably going to do anyway.
I love my job as a contractor, and it is definitely my dream job. There is truly no greater satisfaction to me than working around existing construction or starting a job from scratch. In both cases you are allowed to expand your mind to new horizons and improvise, and as long as you get the job done it doesn’t matter how you went about doing it. I love that my job allows me to problem-solve.
LWOS: Cool, work is always better when you enjoy it! When did you make the decision to fight in MMA, and how did you get started?
CG: I decided that I wanted to do MMA around my sophomore year of high school. I wanted to get better at wrestling, and in the summer we had open mats and a couple of local guys that trained MMA would come in and work with us. Eventually those guys started to teach me stuff like boxing and jiu jitsu and I loved it, I couldn’t wait until I graduated high school and actually got to fight.
After high school I went to K State for a semester. About this time I started to get really serious about running, lifting, and dieting. I lost a lot of weight and got down to the weight that I wanted to fight at.
During my time in Manhattan I trained with the local guys at the rec center, but I wasn’t going to get a fight because I was too busy with school.
When I moved back to Ottawa, I started to train with another group of guys around my town. They weren’t all that organized, and I often got signed up for a fight only to find out last minute that my fight was canceled.
Eventually I gave up and just kept doing my running and workouts by myself. But I decided that I wanted to fight still, so I kept training and looking for new gyms. Eventually I found Brickhouse Fitness where I train at now.
LWOS: Many MMA fighters say their family members were not too thrilled about them getting involved with the sport. Did your family or friends try to talk you out of it?
CG: My mom was all for it, she wants to fight (laughs). I told her ‘no way’ but she has supported me one hundred percent. My dad was a little more skeptical about it. He supported me, but he also doesn’t want to see me get hurt.
As for my friends, they are just starting to find out that I do MMA, even though I have trained for so long. I see MMA as another job and just live my life day-to-day. I’m not one of those people who goes out and brags about how I’m better than you, or how I train. I prefer to just live and try to stay out of other people’s way.
My girlfriend is very supportive, and in fact we joke about how she is my number one fan. Most of my fans have come from her because she is always telling people that I do MMA.
Other than that, I have a lot of support from people that I work with, and other people who have autism or have a child with autism. I have a wonderful fan base and support system.
LWOS: It sounds like it! That’s awesome. Tell us about training at Brickhouse Fitness and MMA, and what you enjoy most about the gym.
CG: I love my team at Brickhouse Fitness and everyone there. Everyone there feels like more than family to me. I love my coaches and training partners Kevin Woltkamp and Tim Matney, and those guys will literally do anything for me if I ask them. This is the first gym that I have been with that has been serious about fighting and being the best that you can be, and I see myself staying with them for all of my fighting career.
LWOS: Do you train in all aspects of MMA? What do you think your biggest strengths are (boxing, wrestling, jiu-jitsu etc.)?
CG: My team and I train all aspects of MMA. However, my strong suit is definitely my wrestling. I have never been a really confident person, but I have just now started to feel confident in my wrestling abilities. It comes natural to me, and although I am pretty decent in all aspects of MMA, I believe that my wrestling is above that of most people and I use that to my advantage.
LWOS: What is your “walk around” weight, and which division do you fight in? Is it a difficult weight cut?
CG: I am on a low-carb clean diet and working out very very hard, 99 percent of the time. That being said, I walk around with about eight percent body fat at upper 170’s pretty much every day. Most days I’m somewhere between 173 and 178. I fight at 155 lbs (lightweight). For me the cut is pretty difficult, and I take the day off of work the day of the weigh-ins. I don’t eat anything, and I sit in a sauna suit in my house and then cut the remainder of the weight off in a sauna.
This last time the weight cut was EXTREMELY HARD. I was embarrassed to tell my coach my actual weight, and I didn’t even get below 170 until a day-and-a-half before the fight. Next time I am going to be honest with my coaches and listen to their tips, and maybe the weight cut will be a little easier.
LWOS: How often do you tune in to MMA or attend shows live? Who are your favorite fighters to watch? Maybe fellow plumber Frankie Edgar (laughs)?
CG: I used to watch MMA and UFC events all the time when I lived at my parents’ house. Since I live on my own now and money is a little tighter, I rarely watch pay-per-view any more. I go to all of my teammates’ fights and I stay pretty busy attending local shows. My favorite fighters have all been wrestlers — Matt Hughes, Chris Weidman, and Frankie Edgar. I didn’t know that he was also a plumber, that is some interesting information.
LWOS: (laughs) Yes, up until his third UFC fight I believe. Hard, honest work. Do you follow football or any other sports? What are your favorite teams?
CG: I don’t watch or follow any other sport besides MMA and wrestling, so I don’t really have a favorite team.
LWOS: What kind of music do you like listening to?
CG: I listen to all types of music. Music is one of the things that helped me with my autism, so I have a lot of music on my iPod, from classical music to heavy metal. I like it all.
LWOS: Who gave you the nickname “Captain Redbeard”?
CG: It came from a friend of mine who I used to wrestle with. He saw me when we both came back to help the high school wrestlers, and said my beard looks mean and scary like a pirates’, but also not scary because it’s hard to take gingers seriously. Then another friend of mine said they should call you “Captain Redbeard”.
LWOS: (laughs) Do you have a fight scheduled right now?
CG: Right now I do not have a fight scheduled. I am taking some time off to let an injury heal. In my last fight I broke my leg, ankle, and foot going for a suplex; I had to tap because of the injury. I tried to fight anyway after I broke it, which only made it worse.
Unfortunately that was my first loss, and I lost a fight that I was clearly dominating. I have been staying lean and on my diet, as well as working out, and at the time of this interview I am almost healed. I plan to fight again before the end of the year, although I’m not quite sure when I will be back.
I am planning to rematch my last opponent and show who the clear victor of that fight was. You can watch my fight on YouTube, or on my Facebook fan page: Connor – Captain Redbeard Gross MMA.
LWOS: Ouch, that sounds like a rough injury. I’m glad you’re almost healed up. Is there something you enjoy doing to take your mind off of fighting/training? Maybe a quiet night in or a party with friends?
CG: I don’t do anything besides fight and train (laughs). I spend a minimum of two hours a day in the gym, and I work full time. But besides that, I spend a lot of my time watching movies and and/or hanging out with my girlfriend reading. Every once in a while I will take a rest day and a cheat day, and we will go out to some all day things. But the majority of my time is devoted to training.
LWOS: How far would you like to go in the sport? If Dana White called you right now and invited you on The Ultimate Fighter, would you give it a shot?
CG: I want to keep fighting until I am in the UFC, it is my dream to fight professionally. I would most definitely accept a shot on The Ultimate Fighter.
LWOS: At 21-years-old, you still have several years left in the sport. But do you have any plans for your future when you’re done competing in MMA? Maybe building your own gym and coaching young fighters?
CG: I would love to open up my own gym and be a personal trainer full time. But in reality, I am probably going to just continue studying to get my Masters in plumbing, and start up my own company once I get that. I will always train MMA though, or at least teach people how to wrestle. The sport has had way too much of an impact on my life not to continue with it.
LWOS: Right on, thanks again Connor! I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me, this was truly inspiring. I wish you the best of luck in your career and in life! Take care.
You can find Connor J. Gross on Facebook! Visit his fan page: Connor – Captain Redbeard Gross MMA.
Visit autismspeaks.org for more information on ASD.
(All pictures in this article are courtesy of Connor Gross.)
