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Elias Theodorou vs Uriah Hall: a Paradoxical Clash Between the Fabio of MMA and the Violent Gentleman

Styles make fights is an adage as old as the sport of boxing, but these words borrowed from the Sweet Science echo as though they were prophesized specifically for mixed martial arts. When taken literally, the quote refers to the unique skill-sets of specific competitors who, when matched in opposition, spark a combustible blaze – like fire and gasoline.

Since shattering Roger Narvaez’ arm at UFC 185, undefeated Canadian middleweight Elias Theodorou (11-0) has been clamoring for a fight against the enigmatic Uriah Hall (11-5). After Theodorou fired the first salvo on The Parting Shot Podcast, he then took to Twitter where continued the instigation. Before long the titillating prospect of this potential match-up had many MMA fans excited. At some point, the bout seemed all but imminent with Hall expressing his desire to rearrange the irreverent Spartan’s pretty face; as it turned out, the tough talk proved to be a tease and the trail of hostility has since cooled off.

Theodorou’s comical tweets and witty digs at the expense of Hall were unrequited and did nothing to force matchmaking decisions. In the end, the whole affair was reminiscent of a young heartthrob who, after weeks of online courtship, failed to secure a first date with the object of his attention.

Trolling Spartan, Hidden Uriah (A Twitter Saga)

The entire Twitter saga between Elias and Uriah can be abbreviated into five acts:

Act 1: Elias fires the first shot.

Act 2: Uriah teases Elias.

Act 3: Elias discredits Uriah. (Refers to his past win over Chris Leben)

Act 4: Uriah blocks Elias.

Act 5: Elias finally explains why he’s picking on Uriah.

It would be a shame to not make this fight. Style for style, Elias Theodorou vs Uriah Hall could produce enough TNT to spark the roof off any arena. As it stands, the UFC has yet to announce the fight, but no matter how you look at it – whether in terms of rankings or from a stylistic standpoint – a match-up between these two makes absolute sense.

A Paradox of Style and Personality

Aside from owning a pair of catchy nicknames, Elias “The Spartan” Theodorou and “Prime Time” Uriah Hall share a few other things in common. For one, they are both dynamic strikers with the ability to dazzle and brutalize on their feet. For two, both men entered the UFC after dominating their respective seasons of the Ultimate Fighter. Lastly, despite displaying flashes of brilliance, Elias Theodorou and Uriah Hall are both currently unranked in the UFC’s 185-pound division. For either, an impressive win against a serious adversary could see them crack into the top 15, and inch them closer towards middleweight legitimacy.

Despite the few similarities they share, the paradox that divides them makes a prospective bout between these dynamos too compelling to pass up.

On the surface, the engagement of sanctioned aggression between two fighters may appear to be just an athletic contest, but underneath the sponsorship logos and grand marquees, the fight merely serves as theater for the underlying drama that makes us – the audience – care about its outcome. If Elias Theodorou vs Uriah Hall ever happens in the Octagon, the drama won’t be limited to a contest of skill or will, as it would be a paradoxical clash of two of MMA’s truly unique personalities.

The Violent Gentleman

The MMA world first took notice of Uriah Hall as the silent assassin on the seventeenth season of the Ultimate Fighter. As part of Team Sonnen, he won all three of his exhibition bouts via spectacular knockouts, but the one that caught the world’s attention was this vicious fatality on Adam Cella:

To this day, the spinning-hook kick that momentarily robbed Cella of his consciousness, and the heavy tension that followed remains one the most shocking television sequences the UFC has ever produced. Because of his propensity to end fights violently, many presumed, at the time, that Uriah Hall would be the next Anderson Silva. Those expectations quickly tempered after Kelvin Gastelum upset him for the TUF title. Since then, Uriah Hall has been labeled an ‘underachiever’ and is currently 4-3 in the UFC.

To understand what motivates Uriah Hall as a fighter, one needs to examine where he comes from. In a piece that he wrote for The Cauldron, he reveals that as an immigrant kid from Spanish Town, Jamaica who moved to the borough of Queens, New York, Hall was so severely bullied that he once contemplated taking his own life. Here’s an excerpt:

Long before more than a million people watched a YouTube video of me knocking a guy out with a kick, I was a victim of systematic and severe bullying. It didn’t matter that my mother came to this country in search of a better life for our family; those who tormented me couldn’t have cared less. Their fear, their hatred, their ignorance, their complete and utter lack of humanity overshadowed any chance I would have (or so I thought) at experiencing the American Dream, like so many immigrants had before me. Over time, the bullying became so aggressive and was so relentless, I got to the point where I simply did not want to go to school anymore. I started cutting class, and lying to my mom about where I had been. I fell behind, and when the overwhelming guilt and shame finally would motivate me to go back to school, I would find myself hopelessly lost and too far behind to make sense of the classwork. Avoiding the bullying was the only thing I cared about. There were days where I literally could not get out of bed in the morning because of the fear inside me. Eventually, as things got worse, I began to have violent thoughts. I considered hurting other people, which, despite my current profession, is not something that is in my nature. Finally, I considered suicide. And though the details of my half-hearted attempt are not important, what does matter is that I was so desperate, so despondent, and felt so totally alone, I actually took steps to end my own life. That’s how bad the bullying was.

Martial arts turned out to be his ultimate salvation, but the struggles that almost destroyed him also made him the man that he is today – a man deeply rooted in empathy and compassion, one that neither wishes ill nor is capable of taking advantage of his fellow man. This humanity is self-evident and it’s what sets him apart from his peers. Under the veil of quiet intensity and controlled fury, Hall is deeply self-aware of his own mortality. This self-awareness makes him capable of fear, which admittedly, is what motivates him.

Fear can drive or it can cripple, but in either case, it can be very dangerous.

The Fabio of MMA

If there were belt ranks for composing funny tweets then Elias Theodorou would probably be a 27th degree black belt. A quick glance over at his Twitter account reveals none of the grounded severity that Hall exudes, and no one would ever guess that this raging extrovert suffered from dyslexia as a kid. His engaging disposition creates quite the contrast to Prime Time’s quiet intensity.  Where Uriah Hall’s motivations are driven by fear, Elias Theodorou seems to be motivated by the pursuit of some grand ambition – that, and an unquenchable thirst for life’s great moments.

MMA analyst Robin Black had this to say in describing the Spartan:

“There’s only one thing about Elias that’s relevant: mental strength. Elias is mentally one of the strongest men walking (happily dancing?) the Earth. His humble yet powerful belief in himself has never failed him, and it never will.”

Since winning the middleweight portion of TUF Nations, Theodorou has leveraged his newfound notoriety as arguably the UFC’s handsomest man, to lay the groundwork in securing his future beyond MMA. At 27 years of age, Theodorou has already built an impressive portfolio which he details in his official website bio (a gem the Spartan likely wrote himself):

On top of being a superb athlete and possessing a degree in Creative Advertising, the Spartan is also incredibly easy on the eyes, with a chin carved from granite, luscious locks and an action figure physique. Coupled with his charisma and charm, these physical attributes have allowed him to pursue various modelling and acting opportunities. To date, the Spartan’s likeness has been featured on eight Harlequin romance novel covers, and he’s acted and performed stunt work in The Listener, Played and Netflix’s upcoming The No. 1 Contender, as well as appearing as eye-candy on Dragon’s Den. Unfortunately for his inner-geek, Elias had to pass on roles in the Godzilla and Robocop reboots to compete on TUF Nations. However, as everyone knows, the window of opportunity for any professional athlete is small, and while he hopes to one day return to his non-fighting endeavours, for now, there’s only one path: MMA.

This bio is obviously a bit dated since he omits to mention his participation in The Amazing Race (Canada) and his recent pro wrestling one-off debut as his alter-ego Greece Lightning. (Watch out, Brock Lesnar!)

With his boyish good looks and engaging personality, a legit shot at mainstream stardom could be in the Spartan’s future, but his primary focus remains fighting. Since winning the TUF Nations crown, he has progressed in leaps and bounds due to his willingness to venture outside of his comfort zone. Underneath the exuberance and charm of this self-professed social media ninja, the Spartan is a true student of the game; he never misses a chance to soak up knowledge from the masters who came before him. His recent pilgrimage to Brazil to train jiu-jitsu with the legendary Nogueiras brothers is an example of his dedication.

For Elias “The Spartan” Theodorou, nothing seems impossible or out of reach. He carries his unshakable confidence like a shield, with a child-like certainty, and so far nobody has been able to dent it. As he carries on more battles against more experienced competition, this self-belief has the potential to be further tested and solidified.

What’s at stake?

Paradox aside, Elias Theodorou vs Uriah Hall could be a career game-changer for both participants.

For the Spartan, a win over Uriah Hall, a fighter of relative renown, could legitimately propel him from his current status on the mid-card to a spot among the top 15 middleweights in the UFC. This would also open the doors towards greater recognition.

As for Uriah Hall, the great first impression that he made on the MMA universe is both a gift and a curse, and those initial expectations will forever haunt him until he fulfills his potential. A match-up with the Spartan could be exactly the opportunity that he needs to shed the label of ‘underachiever’ for good – that is, if he wins.

More than steeled wills and sharpened skills, if and when they do enter the cage to face each other, Uriah Hall and Elias Theodorou would have to ante-up on their hopes, their dreams and their fears – because only one of them will get to leave the Octagon with all of his.
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