Last night, on Reddit’s wrestling subreddit, r/SquaredCircle, user KINGJOBBAH posted several images of what appears to be a full documentation of rules and guidelines for the WWE announce teams. In the nine images, which you can find by clicking the link here, announcers are told what they should and should not say in certain situations, terminology to avoid completely, and even a reminder to sit up straight and make occasional eye contact with the cameras as they break down a situation.
Keep in mind, these cliff notes are dated back to 2008-09, but most (if not all) the rules found in these documents are still utilized today.
An In-Depth Look at WWE Commentary Limitations
We’ll steer clear from the first and last page, as these documents start and end with the same message; Be prepared, do your homework, etc… That’s fine. If you’re calling a match, you should at least know the history between the two superstars, have some background information on each competitor and know what they’ve been doing in the last couple of months. That part is pretty much a given. Like asking experience on a CV. Here were some of our favorite quotes:
“VKM (Vincent K. McMahon) does not want us to use the phrase ‘granddaddy of them all’ for Wrestlemania going forward. He feels it makes Wrestlemania feel old.”
Old is not necessarily a bad thing. Old means history. Old means prestige. And yes, Wrestlemania IS old and prestigious. The event first debuted in 1985. Think about it for a moment. We don’t want a 30-year-old event to sound “old” anymore? What is it then? Three decades of history IS old. Music from the 1980s is old, classic music. Television from the 1980s is old and/or vintage. The terminology VKM (love the abbreviation, by the way) is mistaking old for is “dated”. Dated is bad. Nobody wants to be or feel dated. Old is a good thing.
“Also, we never want to use the term ‘choked out’ or the word ‘choke’ at all. We have re-named Undertaker’s submission the ‘Triangle’s Submission Hold'”.
Rest in peace, Chokeslam.
“Sent by Steph on 5/19/09: Vince would like to reinforce to all announcers NOT to say ‘the referee didn’t see it’ when the referee doesn’t see an illegal action. It makes the product feel cheap, like we’re in grade school. It is OK to say ‘the referee’s vision was impaired’. Or ‘the referee’s vision was blocked’…”
It’s the same thing. Blocked, obstructed, impaired are all fancy ways of describing a referee’s inability to NOT SEE something illegal. But it IS grade school, and we wouldn’t want the fans — the kids at home and in the arena who you’ve marketed your product to for so many years now — to feel like they’re in grade school.
“Sent by Kasama 7/21/09: Do not use the word hatred…”
Oh good. Carry on, Kasama.
“… For example: Triple H and John Cena’s hatred for Randy Orton…”
Oh, like the time Randy planted a kiss on Stephanie McMahon while Triple H was handcuffed to the turnbuckle? I suppose hatred is too strong a word, and could offend so many people. Perhaps his vision was blocked, or impaired, as Steph would say. Wrestlers HATE each other in each storyline, unless a battle is between two personalities that respect each other and are simply battling it out for superiority over one another. Stone Cold Steve Austin and Vince McMahon? Yeah, they hated each other. Stop it, Kasama. Just stop it.
Following that is a list of DON’T’S. A select bunch of words that they wish the announcers would never use again. Don’t call blood? Well, we do see it, but regulations now have the referees acting as on-call nurses, slipping on a pair of surgical gloves and providing a quick clean-up to cover that nasty, offensive red goop. They also don’t want the announcers calling out that a wrestler is busted open. They’d prefer something on the lighter note, like a wrestler having his teeth kicked down his throat.
Because blood is so much more violent than having a visual of someone’s teeth being so violently kicked, they all broke apart and were forced down someone’s throat. Rest assured, parents. Your kids are safe.
We are then provided with a second list of “bad words/terminology to use”, because one was obviously not enough. Couldn’t these just be a part of the DON’T’S list? Ah, nevermind.
Among the words are quite a few reasonable requests: Use Championship or Title instead of Belt or Strap. You hold a Championship and your Title is a Champion. That’s understandable. Words like Feuds, House Show and Faction or more commonly used in the Internet Wrestling Community anyways, so that’s no big loss.
“Pro Wrestling/Pro Wrestler: User Superstar, Star or Athlete instead.”
“Performance/Performer”
The Performance Center exists, doesn’t it? The company that breeds performers at a Performance Center shall no longer be performers once they reach television. Again, this document is dated (take notes, Vince. Dated. Bad thing.) so some of these things may not be relevant anymore. Still, interesting.
“Interesting”
Aw, son of a…
“No Cursing”
No wonder Jim Ross isn’t around anymore. More on him later on.
There’s some other head-scratching examples in there, like using medical center instead of hospital. We’re sure little Jimmy asked his dad what a medical center, which his dad responded with, “It’s a hospital, son.” The demand to refer to the United States Championship as solely that title and not the U.S. Championship is especially fickle. This one stands out like a sore thumb:
“We never want to use the term ‘the title is on the line’. Please use more creative terms like ‘the title will be defended’, etc.”
The one example you provided is the same thing. The title is being defended, but is it not also on the line? Again, fickle. Very fickle.
The next handful of sections is a direction the company wants their announce team to follow. Headings along the likes of Describe the Environment, Pronouns, and Ask Questions, all highlight examples of ways for the announce team to make the viewers at home feel insignificant, mindless drones, unable to think for themselves. Mouth-breathers that can’t grasp onto how chilling The Undertaker’s entrance is.
“How loud/warm/close is the pyro?”
Who cares?
“What are the fans in the arena doing & why?”
We see AND hear what they’re doing, and we likely know why. Booing is for bad guys, cheering is for good guys. Next!
“Nobody cares about what you (the Announcer) thinks…”
Pack it in, boys. We don’t care what you think.
The Embellishment and Announcer Intensity sections are there to inform the announce team when it’s appropriate to add synonyms and lay it on thick, and deciding when to become excited over a “high spot” and when to take a more silent approach when the time calls it for. There was one point that was particularly amusing, and we swing right back to our good ol’ friend, Jim Ross.
“DON’T SCREAM. We are all guilty of it from time to time, but there is nothing more annoying then to listen to an Announcer scream at you for an hour. It distracts from the in-ring product. Start slow and build towards the climax. Give yourself a place to go at the conclusion of a match. DON’T EQUATE SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT.”
ALRIGHT, STOP YELLING AT ME!
Sneaky Vince, slipping in a sexual analogy with the start slow and build towards the climax part. Perhaps the Genetic Jackhammer is still functioning well. But the important thing here is them emphasis on how annoying it is to hear an announcer scream. We’ll forgive the improper use of the word “then” in the sentence for now, as it seems the person who wrote this document is in as much need of a proof-reader as the team of writers that produces the weekly scripts for Raw and Smackdown.
No, the point is how “annoying” it can be. Jim Ross was notorious for being a screamer (mind out of gutter). To attach the word “annoying” to his on-air calls is a hard exercise to complete. Give it a try.
Jim Ross, yelling the finishing maneuver of both wrestlers involved. Repeatedly. Yet, in those cries we can hear emotion, passion and excitement. The same emotion, passion and excitement the fans in the arena are experiencing. The same emotion, passion and excitement the fans at home are experiencing. Not close to annoying, is it?
That heart-stopping moment, when Undertaker tossed Mankind off the cell and through an announce table, how did you feel? Excited? Scared? Worried? We got all of that in Jim Ross’ frantic yelling, which included a couple of “Good God” and the now-infamous “As God as my witness, that man is broken in half.” Later in the match, after Mankind was slammed through the top of the cell and his body came crashing down, J.R.’s pleading cry of “Would someone stop the damn match?!” sent chills down the spines of viewers at home. It brought a sense of realism and shock to the audience.
Did it annoy anyone? Doubtful.
We’d also love to showcase the dozens upon dozens of moments that feature Stone Cold Steve Austin, or Kurt Angle becoming the Olympic Dairyman, but you probably caught on by now.
The point is, we don’t want to hear screaming because that can become annoying. Instead, we have bickering between JBL and Michael Cole, an act that was dated already in 2006, and a group of announcers distracting away from a match to take a selfie. Because shots at President Obama are much more important to take rather than, you know, focus on the match taking place in the ring. Then again, that seems to be a faux-pas too.
“This is television, not radio. We don’t need to call every move a Superstar makes.”
Groan. I guess they also take this suggestion too literally:
“Be conversational. You are talking to a buddy in the bar.”
You’re not in a bar. You’re professionals at a live event, being paid a generous sum of money to complete a fairly simple, yet insanely difficult (thanks to all these rules) job. Plus, a bar is usually casual wear, and:
“Talent should always dress in a professional manner…”
I guess Jerry missed this part of the memo. Also, talent is a word that falls in the DON’T’S category. Interesting.
“Play by play Announcers can not be emasculated by their broadcast partners…”
And JBL missed this part, it seems.
There’s the Layout section as well, which highlights key moments for the announcers to remain quiet and let the atmosphere tell the story. In case you’re wondering just how much this could possibly contradict sections Embellish and Announcer Intensity, we have:
“Entrances are a good time to layout to get a feel of what the live audience is feeling.”
And in section; Embellish:
“Describe what it’s like in the arena where pictures can’t do it justice. For instance tell us what the Undertaker’s entrance is like. Can you feel the power of the deadman? Do you get chills as he makes his way to the ring?”
So Vince, am I supposed to embellish the Undertaker’s entrance and talk about the goosebumps on my arm and how I feel his power, or do I just shut up? One would think a superstar like the UNDERTAKER has an entrance that requires no words. Yet, he is the prime example listed when embellishment is a good thing. Or is it? Commentating is hard.
There’s a few more examples that will have you ripping out your hair, such as using pop-culture references to embellish a situation, see; Vince having his head shaved and making reference to Britney Spears, who had shaved her head around the same time. Or there’s a list of methods to tell a story, because in the manual, they tell the Announcers to assume the viewers don’t always tune in every week, or watch every WWE brand. Is the state of the WWE that bad?
Rules. Regulations. Restrictions. It’s like Kurt Angle’s three I’s, only this trio actually sucks. But bearing all of that in mind, there is one ludicrous statement that the WWE wants their Announce team to read, understand and then completely omit from their memory:
“Be yourself”
If you’re wondering why the state of the WWE Commentary team is so poor, it’s been that way since 2008 and it probably won’t get better, any time soon. For the time being, “it is imperative that the audience do believe.” You can find that gem in the General Announcer Notes.
