Professional wrestling is a soap opera.
We’ve known that for years. There’s more than just bad acting that the two have in common. Soap opera actors have to learn pages after pages of scripts in a short amount of time because episodes are filmed in blocks. Sound familiar? We’ve even heard about former soap opera writers coming to the WWE to write the storylines.
But when people say it’s a soap opera, a lot of times they focus on the romantic angles. Pro wrestling used to be pretty simple with it. Guy has girl, girl leaves guy, guy mad and gets revenge on guy girl left him for. Lather, rinse, repeat (bring your soap!) as necessary. Today in the WWE, with three hours of Raw and two hours of Smackdown, the soapy romance aspect has had moments of trying to have depth and weight. Or at the very least, allow the woman to be more than just a silent damsel in distress. Not saying it’s at a place it needs to be, it’s just better than the days of Elizabeth.
It used to never matter if the man and woman had chemistry or not. Did Elizabeth really have chemistry with Macho Man Randy Savage, or was it more familiarity and history? Kimberly and Diamond Dallas Page were married in real life, but it’s hard to say if they really clicked together on screen. Today, women are used in better ways and therefore there’s a bigger requirement of chemistry with the person they work with, either as a valet, manager or just wrestling partner. Spike Dudley and Molly Holly had fantastic chemistry to the point where they took attention away from bigger stars for being so cute together. Trish Stratus and Chris Jericho, at one point the better actors in the WWE, handled their storyline very well about two people falling for each other. It made Trish’s feeling of betrayal more believable and Jericho’s anger with himself for his actions, followed by the bait and switch of Trish turning heel and aligning with Christian while Jericho is left empty handed. On the other hand you had Christian’s courting of Lita, which… had zero chemistry. Especially when compared to Lita and Christian’s former tag partner Edge years later.
And that brings us to the title subjects of Dolph Ziggler and Lana. The WWE seems intent on turning Lana babyface after her successful run as the Russian spokesperson of Rusev. Breaking them up has always been bizarre. Away from the cameras, Rusev and Lana are a real life couple. It’s their chemistry that brought what was once a spokesperson and her client into being more of an open romance on the show. Then the company decided that needed to be split up. They put Lana with Dolph Ziggler. It made sense. Both are blonde, Ziggler is a ladies man, he’s had chemistry in the past with Vickie Guerrero and AJ Lee, surely they’d work out, right?
Instead, the two are awful together. Absolutely zero chemistry. When the two walk up the ramp holding hands it feels like being at a wedding and having to walk arm and arm with a bridesmaid you never met until that day. You’re more being nice and filling a role than actually being in a meaningful connection with each other. That’s Dolph Ziggler and Lana. Even in arguments, Rusev and Lana still show more chemistry together in a break up than anything Dolph has pulled off with her.
It brings back memories of Ted DiBiase Jr. with Maryse. Once again it was putting two good looking, young people together and hoping it’d work. Problem is that DiBiase Jr. wasn’t his dad, so he had no chemistry in his “Million Dollar Man Part II” gimmick already. He wasn’t really successful in being brash and cocky (Maryse, in reality, married The Miz. Those two always had scorching chemistry together, but the WWE always kept them separated for some reason. Miz could really use a Maryse return today) while Maryse was better at being cocky than anyone on the roster. She oozed charisma every segment and with Ted Jr.? It neutralized her. It just didn’t work.
Sometimes chemistry comes with time. Stephanie McMahon and Triple H made no sense at first. HHH was a Zack Wylde biker rocker wantabee and Stephanie McMahon was the sweet, innocent daughter of Vince McMahon (Stephanie had even less chemistry with her first on screen hookup of Test) so it was a really conflicting match. But as time went on, Stephanie developed a personality and an abrasiveness that combined well with HHH. Both were trying to compensate for what they were not, and by coming together? They were a fantastic duo that works even today.
Other times you have The Big Show and Joy Giovanni. After the first Diva Search, WWE hired a bunch of the divas and tried to give them TV roles that amounted to, “Hey you, come out to the ring with him!” Joy and Show had zero chemistry. They too held hands awkwardly. It isn’t because Joy was pretty and Big Show can’t be with a pretty woman. They just didn’t click on any level.
So what should WWE do with Dolph Ziggler and Lana? End it, of course. This has no legs. Chemistry is not going to come out of these two. It’s like putting Billy Gunn with… any woman. Or putting Torrie Wilson with… any man. It’s just not going to work. Dolph Ziggler also works better under the idea he’s a swinging bachelor and available to any woman who catches his eye in the crowd. Lana of course works better with Rusev. Once Rusev is back from his injury, Lana should be turning on whomever she’s with and working back with him. It’s just the right combination. If it’s true Vince McMahon doesn’t like a big burly monster Rusev to be with a beautiful woman like Lana, he’s just gotta deal with it. You can’t force chemistry. It has to happen naturally. It won’t ever happen between Dolph Ziggler and Lana.
