Brendan Rodgers – “No More Signings in 2015” (Parody)

Brendan Rodgers has ruled out the possibility of Liverpool bringing in any more players this year. The Anfield club have signed striker Danny Ings and midfielder James Milner, subject to medicals. Commenting on the recent transfers, Rodgers stated: “We have added the cherry to the most delectable of cakes imaginable. Contrary to fallacious rumors, we have not signed Ed Sheeran.” Liverpool have signed Adam Bogdan, the Ed Sheeran-shaped cherry, from Bolton Wanderers on a free transfer after personal terms were agreed.

“We had our eyes on Petr Cech and Iker Casillas, but Bogdan just seemed a more logical choice. I am not a man to exaggerate, but this guy is up there with the greats, we are talking about a future Liverpool legend here,” said Rodgers

“But didn’t Tim Howard, a fellow goalkeeper, once score a goal against Adam Bogdan?” asked a reporter, to which the Liverpool manager replied – “Did he? That is news to me. Even the greats make mistakes.”

Commenting on the signing, Jamie Carragher said: “The latest player on his way to Liverpool is a beefed up version of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. If he is the cherry on the proverbial cake, I don’t want a piece. We were hoping for big name transfers. The fans were promised powerful, thunderous, Rolls Royce signings, but we have ended up with nothing but the human equivalent of plug-in, battery powered electric cars. I’ll never here the end of it from Gary Neville.”

Echoing Carragher’s sentiments, social media reaction has been unkind, to say the very least.

Here is what people said on Facebook:

Steve Smith: Asmir Begovic only has a year left on his contract, why didn’t we try and sign him? In general, I have nothing against free signings, however, the individual needs to actually add something to the squad, so the acquisition of Adam Bogdan leaves me scratching my head. Was he signed to keep Jose Enrique company, perhaps a new table tennis partner?

Ryan Bell: Hopefully Bogdan can follow in the footsteps of another Hungarian born, Anfield legend. Who is this person you speak of, I hear you ask. The mighty Istvan Kozma, of course.

David Pratt: Mignolet must be shaking in his boots, absolutely trembling with fear. It’s great to see Liverpool aiming high.

Midfield talisman Jordan Henderson had urged Rodgers to bring in quality players, saying his decision on whether or not to commit his long-term future to Liverpool hinges on the ambition shown by the club. The English international is unlikely to be enamoured by the recent announcement that there will be no further additions to the current squad. “I don’t expect to bring anybody else in, why would I? Ings, Milner and Bogdan, we are ready to conquer the world,” Rodgers told Sky Sports News.

The Hungarian goalkeeper became first choice at Bolton during the 2011-12 season but his first team appearances have been limited by injury and his hair modelling contract with L’Oreal.

“Why did I sign him?” asked Rodgers, “because he’s worth it.”