It’s baaaaaack…
For the third year in a row, Major League Soccer will be running “Jersey Week”, where every club will unveil at least one new kit for the 2015 season. It’s to this journalism major/marketing minor what Shark Week is for Discovery Channel enthusiasts.
Jersey Week officially runs from February 28 to March 7, but just like last season, a few clubs have jumped the gun. For part one I looked at every new kit released before Jersey Week. For part two, I looked at four away kits released in the early days of Jersey Week. Today, I’m recapping a busy day, in which six new kits were formally unveiled for the first time.
For a complete Jersey Week schedule, go to MLSsoccer.com. Keep watching this space though, because there are plenty more kits to be unveiled in the coming days!
Kits are organized in alphabetical order by team name.
Kit #1: Houston Dynamo Home
Back in the franchise’s early post-San Jose days, the Houston Dynamo front office came up with a pretty cool jersey or two.
Realizing that they haven’t had a “cool” looking home kit since that 2009-2010 one I just linked to retired, the Dynamo decided to draw inspiration for their new home kit from the coolest thing they could find in Texas: a creamsicle from the local 7/11.
The problem with creamsicles is that they aren’t cool. They’re cold.
This shirt gives me the chills. The intersecting thin diagonal line pattern at the bottom of the shirt is, I’m pulling a guess out of thin air here, supposed to mirror the scaffolding at BBVA Compass Stadium. On the stadium exterior it looks cool, on the kit it wasn’t done boldly enough to look important but done just enough to make it stick out in a bad way.
And dare I play this broken record again with colour gradients? They’re very tough to pull off. Though this one isn’t bad, it’s by no means good.
To summarize: odd decisions on the bottom of the shirt + too much white + not enough “Space City” blue (which is a fantastic accent colour to the orange) = poor jersey.
Grade: C+
Kit #2: New England Revolution Away
Following Columbus’ rebrand and Chivas’ summoning to Hades, the New England Revolution took sole possession of Major League Soccer’s worst brand.
Until they update their logo (the only one unchanged of the remaining MLS Originals) that won’t change. But at least their new away kit shows signs of promise for the future.
Pulling a page out of Chicago’s playbook, the Revs used the flag of New England as inspiration for their new away kit.
I’m overall content with the look of the shirt though. The white chest breaks up the red, which could be overpowering altogether, into manageable sections. The green is new to the Revolution colour palette, but it works. Not as well as navy blue would though, at least with that current logo.
As for the jock tag, you might need to find Samuel Adams’ magnifying glass to have any chance of reading what it says.
Throw in a white patch on the sleeve that looks really weird with only a partially-done full ring around the arm, and this kit doesn’t punch above the average zone.
Grade: B
Kit #3: New York Red Bulls Home
Those “Red Bull Out” slogans really didn’t work that well.
The same much-hated owners are still at the helm in Harrison, and they’ve made sure fans know about it.
There’s a lot more red in this year’s New York Red Bulls kit than in many of the past seasons. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the most red seen on this franchise’s home kit in the Red Bull era.
I like that. It just makes sense, as does matching the “New York” jock tag logo with what’s on the current away kit.
The ode to the MetroStars days on the neck tape is nice, but it means nothing when the bulls on the front of the shirt are growing at the same rate as everyone’s favourite big red animal, Clifford. And putting “New York Red Bulls” in big letters on the back of the shirt too?
That’s just way too Central American looking for my liking.
But if you had the choice between occupying Wall Street and this shirt, I’d still pick the latter. Great look, and not that far off from excellent.
Grade: A-
Kit #4: Orlando City SC Away
If anyone has any reason why I should jump off the purple bandwagon, now’s a great time for yu to say your piece.
No? I thought so.
Somebody really should be tallying up every good move Orlando has made in the lead up to their debut MLS season. For lack of a better reason, we can laugh at the paltry total once Sacramento takes their first kick of a ball in MLS come 20_ _.
Even though it’s just the home kit with an inverted colour scheme, it’s still very sharp. Like the home shirt, every element comes together really nicely.
I’m still left searching for more gold, but I have a feeling that this club could be winning a lot of gold winner’s medals if karma has any say in things.
Grade: A
Kit #5: Philadelphia Union Away
rom the really good, we go to the really strange.
Somebody in the Union’s marketing department had an off day, and they happened to have it when their supervisor, and their supervisor’s supervisor, decided to use up a sick day or ten.
I understand the centre stripe. It’s part of the club’s history. A short history, but it’s a history nonetheless. And I get that putting a bunch of rattlesnakes (now THERE’s the history) in the stripe would look really weird.
But stars? Come on. The Union have made the playoffs once in their history, just lost the U.S. Open Cup Final by blowing a lead in their own stadium, and with the exception of a select few have complied a roster that looks set to get a gold star for participation.
They had such a good template from their third kit a few seasons back to work with too.
I would say nice try, but then they’d probably be tempted to add yet another star.
Grade: C-
Kit #6: Portland Timbers Home
I’m not sure whether to cry tears of joy or sorrow.
The first two Portland Timbers home kits of their MLS era were unspectacular. In an effort to reach that level in 2015, the club did a complete 180 with the kit. They didn’t realize there was a big rig driving full speed behind them.
I like the look of chevrons for the most part. They’re not used very often in jerseys, and normally I’m pleasantly surprised to see them.
But this monstrosity is disgusting. Counting the Alaska Airlines logo, there are three colours in it. That yellow might be the ugliest colour you’ll see on a kit that isn’t Super Cyan.
The two yellow stripes on the shoulders just look odd and as if they were thrown on out of desperation to make the kit look more interesting. The yellow v-neck collar and the giant chevron clash really badly. I’m naturally drawn to where they intersect, as if there are two arrows pointing me to something important.
But there’s nothing there. As for pointing, I’m pointing my finger at the secondary logo but put on the primary kit and calling foul.
If there’s one good thing to take out of this new shirt, it’s that there may be a chance that my personal favourite kit in MLS (and among the most underused), the 2014-2015 Timbers away jersey (complete with the rose city secondary logo and maybe the greatest colour gradient you will ever see on a sports jersey) gets used a little bit more this year.
Even with Diego Valeri, Will Johnson, and Darlington Nagbe running the show in midfield, it’s going to be nearly impossible for this club to be attractive to watch whenever they put this shirt on.
Grade: D
