Welcome to 2015. Happy New Year to all of you; here’s hoping your resolutions are still intact.
For rugby fans – or addicts, whatever – it’s not just another year. It’s a Rugby World Cup Year and even though kick-off to the big tournament is still 8 months away our sport’s showpiece event is weighing heavily on our minds.
There is a lot going on: team preparations, who is missing super rugby and for how long, shortened rugby championship to preserve bodies and enthusiasm, what kind of strategies will be adopted, and who are the likely contenders to win the Webb Ellis trophy.
For those of you who have rugby fans / addicts in your lives masquerading as husbands, aunties, boyfriends, daughters, bankers and hairdressers, you now have a pretty good idea of what will be on their minds for most of the next 10 months. But how are you – the non-rugby watching innocent – going to survive a Rugby World Cup year without taking up refuge in a monastery far away from your beloved rugby addict?
If googling monastery accommodation is not an option for you here are a few vital survival tips from a self-proclaimed rugby addict who won’t be a fully-functioning member of society until October (and that’s depending on who wins the Cup!). This is a marathon, people, not a sprint so prepare yourself accordingly.
1. It’s all about the rugby. You can be exasperated by it or accept it, but you will need a happy place to zone off into if you can’t or don’t want to participate in our rugby strategy meetings.
2. Be emotionally supportive. There is a lot at stake here. We are going to cry, we are going to scream, we will probably gain weight because of the stress and somehow acquire a personality disorder, but remember you promised to take us in sickness and in health and, well, this is our sickness …
3. Know your facts. There are no touchdowns, wickets or hurdles in rugby. We won’t have time to explain and this is why you should attend the strategy meetings …
4. Believe in magic. I will go from polite and courteous to argumentative and violent because the referee is ‘ruining the game’. See point regarding personality disorder
5. Negotiation is your friend. “If I let you have the guys over for the matches during the World Cup, can I have the bathroom and kitchen redone?”
6. Knowledge of time zones is advantageous. This applies to those viewers who will be keeping odd hours to watch the matches live. Please don’t remind us about the importance of an 8 hour sleep; rather be proactive and get the snacks ready
7. Keep the liquor cabinet well stocked. This is our sickness, remember …
8. Time heals all wounds. There can only be one winner and we will need time to get over it if our team doesn’t win (we have waited 4 years for this, after all). Well, this isn’t entirely true – ask New Zealanders how they feel about Wayne Barnes – but whatever helps you get through World Cup Year!
My most valuable piece of advice, however, is to embrace this rugby season as much as possible. The World Cup is rugby’s showpiece event and it only comes around every 4 years. Instead of playing your own version of ‘Survivor’, why not embrace it and enjoy it.
That’s one New Year’s resolution you won’t have any trouble sticking to.
As for my fellow rugby addicts, our 2015 resolution is simple. Eat, breathe, sleep rugby and repeat.
Oh come on ref!
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