John Morrison and The Miz used to say that on the road of life there are winners and there are losers. On the road to Wrestlemania there are winners and losers as well. We usually figure that out by WWE Elimination Chamber, which this year will come to us from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The WWE Kickoff starts at 7:30PM EST this Sunday. The Last Word on Sports Pro Wrestling team (Aaron Wrotkowski, Jeff DeHaan, James Carlucci, Shawn Wilken, Adam Contant) are here to discuss their thoughts and predictions on the event. Also, please don’t look up the poster for this show. Stephanie McMahon on the poster instead of, I don’t know, a wrestler? Are there really people who will see that poster and go, “Oh, Stephanie McMahon looking evil. I think I’ll buy this.” No wonder WWE PPVs like Battleground are hitting some of the lowest buyrate numbers in WWE history. I guess when everything goes to the WWE Network there will be no need for a poster to sell someone on a show. Anyway…
Predictions and Analysis on the 2014 Elimination Chamber
Kickoff Match
The Brotherhood vs. RybAxel
Winners
Shawn and Jeff: The Brotherhood
Adam, Aaron and James: RybAxel
Thoughts by Jeff DeHaan: Cody and Goldust had such a fantastic run as tag team champions, but since losing the titles during the Royal Rumble kickoff, the only things of note they have done is get manhandled by Brock Lesnar and lose their rematch in a cage. In order to get back in the title hunt the Brotherhood NEED a victory here. Also, the fans haven’t really been given any reason to think Ryback and Axel could win.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Jack Swagger with Zeb Colter vs. Big E (c)
Winner
Adam and Aaron: Jack Swagger
Shawn, Jeff and James: Big E
Thoughts by Aaron Wrotkowski: I guess with my birthday on the same day as Elimination Chamber (be sure to wish me a happy birthday @AaronWrotkowski on Twitter!) it shows my age because I just can’t take Big E serious. He’s Ahmed Johnson to me. I don’t know if there’s anything about Big E that stands out beyond being a power guy. I think he’ll make a much better tag wrestler in his career. That said I feel Cesaro is on his way to becoming a babyface singles wrestler and the best way to cement that is to give Swagger some singles success. They could even run Cesaro vs. Swagger for Wrestlemania for the Intercontinental Title. Much more exciting than anything they could do with Big Ettore (that’s what the E stands for).
Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil
Winner Aaron and Jeff: Darren Young
Shawn, Jeff and Adam: Titus O’Neil
Thoughts by Shawn Wilken: I’m going strictly on the course of the JTG/Shad situation. In that feud, the WWE opted to give the little push from behind to the bigger man, Shad, to help him further his career as a singles competitor. While that failed, I don’t see it going Titus falling into obscurity the way Shad did. He has the tools to make it in the business, with perhaps a bit of tweaking on his in-ring move set. Darren too, who is ahead of Titus at almost every facet in the business.
WWE Tag Team Championship
The Uso’s vs. The New Age Outlaws (c)
Winners Shawn, Adam and James: The Uso’s
Aaron and Jeff: The New age Outlaws
Thoughts by James Carlucci: Quite simply, if The Usos don’t go over here it’s a travesty. I’m as much of a sucker for Road Dogg’s shtick as the next guy, but there’s nothing New Age about the Outlaws anymore. The Usos are the best pure tag team in the company, and they’ve been putting on great matches for too long now to not be rewarded. Let the NAO serve their purpose of transitioning the titles from one face team to another, have Road Dogg go back to making fun of WCW in the basement of Titans Tower with Josh Matthews, and have Billy Gunn go back to doing whatever it is he was doing. It’s the Usos’ time.
The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family
Winners
James, Shawn, Aaron, Jeff and Adam: The Wyatt Family
Thoughts by Adam Contant: Really, I think the fans watching are going to be the real winners as I have no doubt these 6 men will give us something special from this showdown that many have been salivating about since summer. Both teams are white hot at the moment so this one isn’t as easy to call as one would suspect, but while both teams have an incredible amount of momentum heading into the match, they seemed poised to head in different directions afterwards. If recent events are any indication, The Wyatts seem headed for a showdown with John Cena (and possibly some other legends?) while The Shield look like they’re headed for a showdown with each other. At the end of this match, I think that will become abundantly clear with a Wyatt win and a potential implosion of the Shield.
Batista vs. Alberto Del Rio
Winner Adam, Jeff, Shawn and James: Batista
Aaron: Alberto Del Rio
Thoughts by Aaron Wrotkowski: This is a very difficult match for me to give much of an opinion on because I think it’s one of the worst bookings in a very long time for the WWE. Who in WWE Creative really said to themselves, “Ah yes, Batista and Del Rio. That’s a match the fans want to see! We have nothing to worry about on Batista’s face heat and even if it falters, Del Rio could surely get him back on track. But that won’t happen because Batista will definitely be over, he’ll make Alberto Del Rio an even bigger heel! The Latino Ric Flair even!” So why am I going with Del Rio winning? Because it’s the only way to really drive this booking home in boring territory. You know, an indecisive victory? Claim a win by DQ or something for Del Rio. Wait, did I say it was difficult to give an opinion on? Actually that was easy! I guess it’s difficult to say anything positive about it.
Bonus Match
Santino Marella & Emma vs. Fandango & Summer Rae
Winner: Santino Marella & Emma
Thoughts by Adam Contant: Look, I know this isn’t an advertised match, but with the attention they’ve been getting on WWE’s weekly programming, this rivalry is a strong candidate for a bonus match on the card. So, I’m calling an audible here and giving my thoughts just in case my theory proves correct. I actually really like this program. The purpose seems to have been to help WWE crowds get to know Emma and get her over, and I think pairing her with such strong personalities has been to her benefit, as she seems to be popular with the crowds. The contests between these four have been fun, and despite what some believe, fun does have a place on the card. With these four over the top hard workers, I think we can expect a short and sweet match with some comedy and a feel good ending with the baby faces coming out on top.
Main Event
Elimination Chamber Match for WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Cesaro vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton (c)
Entry Order
Shawn: Orton, Cesaro, Sheamus, Cena, Christian, Bryan
James: Cesaro, Sheamus, Christian, Cena, Kane, Orton
Adam: Bryan, Orton, Sheamus, Christian, Cesaro, Cena
Aaron: Cena, Orton, Christian, Sheamus, Cesaro, Bryan
Jeff: Orton, Christian, Sheamus, Bryan, Cesaro, Cena
Most Eliminations
Shawn, James, Jeff and Aaron: Cesaro
Adam: Orton
Elimination Order
Shawn: Christian, Sheamus, Cena, Cesaro, Orton
James: Christian, Sheamus, Cena, Kane, Cesaro
Adam: Christian, Sheamus, Cesaro, Bryan, Cena
Aaron: Christian, Cesaro, Sheamus, Cena, Bryan
Jeff: Christian, Sheamus, Bryan, Cesaro, Cena
Winner
James, Adam, Aaron and Jeff: Randy Orton
Shawn: Daniel Bryan
Thoughts by James Carlucci: I don’t expect Daniel Bryan to make it to this match. Getting him to the main event of Wrestlemania is a lot harder sell story-line wise if he simply loses this match, so expect an Authority-sized screwjob here. Kane replacing Bryan as punishment for his recent actions seems like the way to go. As for the remaining competitors, I’m not excited to find out who wins insomuch as who looks strong during it. Christian will most likely be fodder to make the other guys look strong, and Sheamus is still a big enough name to give the rub to whoever takes him out. As for the remaining three, I expect Cena to get Wyatt-ed to set up their aforementioned Wrestlemania feud. Cesaro is clearly not winning here, but another strong showing would do wonders for him. I’m expecting the crowd to get behind him as he faces off against the Viper, only to fall to the champ’s underhanded tactics. Orton will leave with the belt, with an eventual face-off against one Daniel Bryan awaiting him at Wrestlemania.
See you at the Chamber Sunday, February 23 with kick-off (anyone else feel it should be called kickout?) at 7:30PM EST.
Photo via WWE.com
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