With transfer rumours flying around like confetti in a hurricane I thought I would put my own spin on the transfer rumour mill so (*deep breath*) here goes:
– Theo Walcott has been ruled out for the rest of the season so, Arsenal needing a striker leads us to Pedro at Barcelona who, being Spanish, needs playing time in a World Cup year.
– Across the capital, Chelsea’s Juan Mata, who seems to be on a completely different wavelength to Jose Mourinho, has got his agent at work trying to find him a route off the Stamford Bridge bench. Will it be French giants Paris St Germain next for Mata?
– PSG however are also after French superstar midfielder and ex-Red Devil Paul Pogba from Juventus,
– Who in turn want Erik Lamela from Spurs,
– Who have recently allowed Jermain Defoe to finalise his end-of-February move to MLS and Toronto FC,
– Who are getting greedy and are also interested in American midfielder Michael Bradley from Roma,
– Who themselves have agreed a deal for potential superstar Antonio Sanabria from Barcelona,
– Who have their eyes on German Marco Reus from Borussia Dortmund,
– Who in turn want 18-year-old German Serge Gnabry from Arsenal,
– Who may yet decide to sign Gunners fan Jackson Martinez from Porto.
– Which leads us to Portuguese superstar Cristiano Ronaldo who is staying at Real Madrid, but can the same be said for winger Angel Di Maria? Will Monaco or PSG be his new home?
– In France will Falcao stay at Monaco or could he be heading to join Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea?
– Maybe former-Red Sergio Torres could move back North to Anfield to rekindle the magic?
– Leaving Luis Suarez to complete his dream move to the Bernabeu and Real Madrid?
– Across Madrid, will Atletico’s Koke be joining a very disjointed Manchester United team this January?
– If so, the one making way at Old Trafford would appear to be Wilfried Zaha going on loan, possibly to Crystal Palace, Newcastle or Cardiff.
– Mentioning South Wales, will Tom Ince be joining Swansea? Or could it be Everton for the ‘Guv’nor’s’ talented son?
– On Merseyside, can the high-flying Toffees keep Ross Barkley at Goodison Park if Man United put in a crazy, Fellaini-like panic bid late on in the window?
– Or will Moyes finally get his hands on Ander Herrera from Athletic Bilbao?
– David Moyes is extremely desperate to change the Red Devils fortunes and talking of fortunes, Lionel Messi has dashed PSG, Man City and Chelsea’s hopes and dreams of signing the brilliant superstar by saying that he wants to finish his career at Barca
– Also in Spain, Real’s Alvaro Morata and Atletico’s Diego Costa are both seemingly on Arsene Wenger’s shopping list,
– But will the Frenchman instead opt to buy closer to home with Premier League-proven Dimitar Berbatov joining from London rivals Fulham?
– Whether or not the enigmatic Berbatov leaves, one man heading to the Craven Cottage exit is Bryan Ruiz then Bryan Ruiz with Real Betis showing interest.
– Spain is full of transfer rumours but will Karim Benzema be joining Arsenal or could he yet end up at Inter Milan?
– One player who looks like staying at the San Siro will be AC’s Mario Balotelli,
– But will Fredy Guarin be doing likewise and stay an Inter player? Napoli are said to have been sniffing around.
– Leading us to Napoli’s star summer signing Gonzalo Higuain. Will he be joining Chelsea for bucket loads of dosh? Bucket-loads of tosh seems more likely, though they do appear to be selling Kevin De Bruyne to German side Wolfsburg, so watch this space!
And there you have it, my tongue-in-cheek look around the transfer-landscape this January. How much of this is absolute rubbish is as much your guess as it is mine. One thing that is for sure is that Robert Lewandowski will be joining Bayern Munich in the summer. Until then, strap yourself in and enjoy the January transfer rollercoaster – you never know, one or two of the things above might even end up happening!
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