2013 certainly has been an exciting year on the pitch; hopefully 2014 will be even better. Here are some things that I’m hoping that we will see in the New Year.
1. Vincent Tan fires himself.
2. Luis Suarez bites Jose Mourinho’s….(insert body part of choice here).
3. Lee Cattermole wears his shorts even higher.
4. David Moyes admits that Sir Alex Ferguson still picks the team.
5. Alan Pardew admits he wants to manage the France National Team one day.
6. Jozy Altitore admits he used to be a bouncer in a New York nightclub.
7. Mourinho admits “I’m not Special anymore.”
8. David Moyes daughter and Wilfried Zaha get married.
9. England win the World Cup.
10. Tom Cleverley passes the ball forward at least once.
11. Arsenal win the Premier League.
12. People putting Luis Suarez in the same category as Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo stop doing so.
13. Aaron Ramsey gets back to the form of his Zinedine Zidane-like start to the season.
14. Wayne Rooney to dye his hair blonde.
15. Steven Gerrard admitting he wanted to join Chelsea.
16. Olivier Giroud ends up with 25 goals and shuts the doubters up.
17. West Ham stop blowing them poxy bubbles.
18. Vincent Tan comes out as a Swansea fan.
19. Thierry Henry comes back to Arsenal in a coaching capacity.
20. Liverpool chairman John Henry admits what they are smoking at Anfield.
21. Stoke get relegated.
22. Chelsea realize without Abramovich’s money they really are just a small club from London.
23. Robin van Persie admits he is not fit to lace either Dennis Bergkamp’s or Marco Van Basten’s boot laces.
24. That Barcelona will play with 2 balls so the other team at least gets a touch every 5 minutes.
25. Michael Owen gets fired from being a football commentator.
26. Some away team gets a proper linesman (or Referee’s Assistant if you prefer – I don’t) at the Etihad who understands the offside rule.
27. Ryan Giggs retires.
28. A Brazil vs Argentina World Cup final.
29. Rio Ferdinand keeps his mouth closed for at least 5 minutes.
30. People realize Adnan Januzaj isn’t the new Ronaldo.
31. That Bayern Munich don’t win every trophy again.
32. Manchester United get a penalty given against them (76 Premier League games and counting).
33. Roberto Soldado doesn’t score another goal all season (OK, maybe just not from open play then?).
34. Yaya Toure comes out as two people.
35. Barcelona and Real Madrid have a mass brawl and get points deducted so that Atletico Madrid win La Liga.
36. Luka Modric and Gail Tilsley come out as one person.
37. Patrice Evra admits he is a complete **** (Again, insert profanity of your choice here).
38. Juan Mata joins a team that wants him.
39. Ashley Young gets banned for cheating/diving.
40. Branislav Ivanovic bites Suarez back with a full Dracula-like bite.
Thanks for Reading, you can follow me on twitter @TonyNYGooner. Give the site a follow while you’re at it – @LastWordOnSports.
Feel free to discuss this and other footy related articles with thousands of fans at r/football.
Interested in writing for LastWordOnSports? Find more info at our “Join Our Team” page.
