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The Extinction of the Funkasaurus

The collective jaws of the WWE Universe were left agape a little under two years ago. The beast known as Brodus Clay was set to make his return to the ring, with vignettes hyping it for weeks. But that return brought forth something unexpected. Instead of the monster who had been watching the back of Alberto Del Rio, we got the only known inhabitant of Planet Funk. Brodus Clay had become a smiling dancing fool. Instead of a freight train of a man mowing down the competition, we got a 375 lbs Disco Inferno. And as I watched this re-emergence puzzled by this choice of gimmick, I didn’t hate it. To be honest, I didn’t know what to make of it.

So I thought I would give it some time. I mean heck, Big Show went through a phase where he came to the ring in a different gimmick every match. A Hulkster gimmick, a Scottish gimmick, the list went on. Maybe that’s all this was. Maybe it was simply a matter of waiting out a few odd choices to get to the real Brodus Clay. But week in and week out, it was the same. And as hard as it was to admit, it grew on me. I wasn’t a huge fan, but it was fun. I’ll take a serious attempt at a fun, silly gimmick over a mediocre attempt at a serious gimmick every time. And that’s what made The Funkasaurus in those early days of that gimmick. Brodus’ commitment to the gimmick. No one is believable if they do a half-assed job. One has to believe in their own gimmick before the crowd will get behind it.

But here we are, close to two years after Clay’s re-debut, and I think it’s time to close this chapter. There’s been some laughs, the kids loved him, he brought back the “hip-hop hippo” in Tensai, but it’s time for a change. And that change, instead of being a hiatus followed by a change of gimmick, should be a full out heel turn.

A real heel turn, not like the flip flop thing they are doing with Miz. (don’t get me started on that) Have him turn on someone close to him. He’s got a tag partner in Tensai, he’s got the Funkadactyls, and a potential new member of that stable, NXT’s Xavier Woods. Woods recently came to the ring to Brodus Clay’s theme song and accompanied by Cameron and Naomi. That might be a good place to start. As Woods escalates in popularity, have Clay come with the Funkadactyls to the ring for Woods match. After the match have Clay attack him for seemingly no reason. The reason can be revealed later. The turn is more about the shock. Plus, you have an instant feud right out the gate with Woods’ mentor R-Truth. It would be a nice stepping stone to get Clay’s feet wet in a new heel role. It could even lead to him Joining the Authority.

The WWE seems to be hurting for some good monster heels these days. Mark Henry’s been over since his faux-retirement speech from a few months back. So it’s no surprise that he returned from injury as a fan favourite. Big Show is at the height of the Authority storyline and is leading the charge against Triple H and Stephanie. Kane, while he has recently become a heel again, we have yet to see him in the ring. This has me wondering if his no role is an effort to lighten his ring schedule, and perhaps slowly move him into a trainer role. Ryback is a heel and still in the relative infancy of his career, but since turning heel he has certainly been knocked down a few pegs. The spot is wide open for a vicious, behemoth heel to tear through the babyfaces, protect The Authority, and be the wall that the top faces need to get past to get to the champion.

Now, one can argue that the S.H.I.E.L.D. currently fills that role. While that may be true, these days no team lasts forever. And even with The Authority’s Hounds of Justice, having some extra muscle wouldn’t hurt. If nothing else, it would make them look more afraid of the Daniel Bryans, the CM Punks, and the John Cenas. I believe Clay can be that man. The Funkasaurus has walked the Earth for long enough. Let the coming winter be his ice age. Because I, for one, can’t wait for the next evolution of Brodus Clay.


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Main Photo Credit: Simon via wikipedia, CC


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