We are now experiencing the NHL off-season. I would like to introduce you a picture of Zdeno Chara taken by Andrew Smith on Twitter @Smitty3533
https://twitter.com/Smitty3533/status/349929918362169344/photo/1
That’s Chara at Canobie Lake Park in Salem, New Hampshire. Riding a rooster on the Rooster ride.
It’s interesting to note that Chara still has his playoff beard. His face is still a Slovakian mane ready for battle. But there are no battles anymore. No wars to fight until autumn. All he can do is ride a rooster. On the rooster ride. At Canobie Lake Park.
It’s reported that after the Boston Bruins lost out on their opportunity to hoist the Stanley Cup, there was a 21 per cent spike in traffic in the Boston area for Pornhub.com, but Zdeno Chara wasn’t interested in looking at pornography. Zdeno Chara wanted to ride. A rooster. On the rooster ride. At Canobie Lake Park.
This situation reminds me of a quote, made popular by former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Margaret Thatcher:
“The rooster may crow, but it is the hen who lays the egg.”
Chara’s demeanour on the ride tells me he is considering this quote. Is he the rooster? Or is he the hen? The Boston Bruins may have unfurled their feathers once up 2-1 and crowed to the TD Garden that they were en route to game seven, but it was the hen that laid the egg. That egg was two goals in 17 seconds. Or was the egg Chara being on the ice for 10 of Chicago’s last 12 goals in the series? These are questions for a philosopher. You know, like Jack Edwards.
As the siren blared in Boston and the Chicago Blackhawks officially won Lord Stanley’s mug, Boston fans pondered if their captain had it in him anymore. He certainly wasn’t devoid of rage. Chara was perfectly fine a series before to punch Sidney Crosby in the face, regardless of Crosby’s recent injury. He was willing to do anything to win it for the black and gold. But against Chicago, the fire seemed extinguished. Once the most dominant defencemen in the NHL, at 36 years of age he looked lethargic. It used to be Chara making goalies look better than they should and now it was his goaltender in Tuukka Rask making him look better than he should. And Chara knew it. He knows it too, riding that rooster. On the rooster ride. At Canobie Lake Park.
It’s not as though he was ever forced into the ride. How do you force a 6’9” man into an amusement park ride? You don’t. And why would he even be spending his offseason in a small town like Salem? Surely there are better places to vacation. Why not enjoy a drink on a tropical island, proud of how far your team made it? Boston destroyed the hopes of the Toronto Maple Leafs, disposed of the New York Rangers and then swept the Pittsburgh Penguins. They proved they were the cream of the Eastern Conference. Nay, the chowder! It was a good run and the Bruins surely have more runs in store. But does Chara? Chara doesn’t seem to want to run. He wants to ride. A rooster. On the rooster ride. At Canobie Lake Park.
Maybe I’m wrong. I’m no psychologist. Maybe this was supposed to be Chara’s victory ride. Maybe Chara always wanted to ride that rooster. Maybe this is his warm solace, the place he goes when he needs to smile. Cheer up, Zdeno. You’re still a good hockey player. Heck, you’re a great hockey player! You’re likely bound for the Hockey Hall of Fame. You got one Stanley Cup ring that nobody can deny you. Sure you didn’t win this year, but there’s always next year! So ride that cock, ride it into the sun! You deserved this off season.
Riding a rooster. On the rooster ride. At Canobie Lake Park.
Feel free to comment below, and follow me on twitter @lonerogue and the site@lastwordonsport.
Interested in writing for LastWordOnSports? Find more info at our “Join Our Team” page.
