Maury Povich, Jerry Springer and 'Shmeer Schmantler'

Welcome back to Quick Slantthe column that sorts through hundreds of headlines and brings you only the best, most interesting and downright stupid the NFL has to offer.  The NFL is a smorgasbord of awesome storylines; some are analytical, others are critical, and some are just down right stupid.  It’s the stupid ones I live for – they make my day.  I try to offer my own take on the story in as few words as possible – some of us have a wife, kids and a job and don’t have time to read 5000+ word novels!  So, without further ado, I give you today’s version of Quick Slant:


The Darrelle Revis situation isn’t getting any better.  The Jets are reportedly challenging the shutdown corner to either show up for “voluntary” conditioning practices or run the risk of losing out on bonus money.  Apparently Revis is gonna make the trek, as a $3mill bonus is certainly nothing to scoff at too much…… I reported in yesterday’s column about how stupid it is that Joe Flacco is playing Johnny Unitas in an upcoming movie.  Apparently the Unitas family feels the same!  The situation is actually a little bit sloppy as family members are at odds over the movie even being produced in the first place.  Apparently Maury Povich and Jerry Springer have both made several inquiries…… Darren McFadden was successful in being the worst starting running back in the NFL last year.  Well, let me explain; he had the fewest yards per carry (3.27) of any starting RB in the league.  The Raiders’ back is excited that coach Dennis Allen has finally figured out that the reason for the pitiful ground attack has to do with zone blocking, and not the sub-par athletes on Oakland’s line.  I’m sure all will be solved now…… Matt Leinart and Brady Quinn are both visiting the Seahawks with the vacancy at #2 QB up for grabs.  Apparently the two are in a bidding war with Leinart offering Seattle in excess of a free Lube, Oil and Filter at Mr. Transmission, and Quinn willing to babysit Russell Wilson‘s nieces on weeknights.  We’ll see who wins out……Oh, and Antoine Winfield and every other unsigned player currently residing in the lower 48 states, is also visiting the Seahawks…….First Tom Brady loses Wes Welker (oh, have you heard, Wes Welker is no longer in New England – just in case you’ve been living in Tim Thomas’ mountain bunker) and now Rob Gronkowski has an infection, and his return for the start of the season is in question.  The go-to big guy for the Patriots needs surgery to repair his arm.  He has had surgery on it 38 times already, and I guess a 39th is in order (actually, four, but still…)……I’ll leave you with some RGIII news, just because I know you never can get enough of him.  Redskins coach Mike Shanahan has stated that his star quarterback will set a record for his recovery from injury.  First, he better teach him how to hook slide or that will be the only record he has in the NFL, and second, what was up with that mysterious bottle labelled, “ShmEER SchmANTLER” in the back of his car?  Just curious.

That does it for today.  Check back tomorrow and I’ll have sifted through the day’s headlines and give you what you need to know.

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