It’s the night after the Royal Rumble! Nobody from Monday Night Raw was the last man standing, but there was a title change! *Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Voice* Finally, the Club are Tag Team Champions. And! Kevin Owens beat Roman Reigns without cheating. It’s not his fault that Braun Strowman interfered! So, what’s next? Please say Emmalina. Here’s the Monday Night Raw Review: Royal Fallout.
Read More: Monday Night Raw Review: Royal Sendoff
Monday Night Raw Review: Royal Fallout
JeriKO, Braun Strowman, and Mick Foley.
Fresh off retaining his Universal Championship against Roman Reigns, Kevin Owens and his best friend, the United States Champion, Chris Jericho opened the show. As always, the two were gold, but Owens was particularly motivated. He gave an emotional promo about how he proved everyone wrong and how he was the man.
Then he thanked Chris Jericho for lending him the emotional support he needed to win the match. And Jericho went on a rant about how he’s the greatest of all time because he broke the record for most time spent in the Royal Rumble.
Then the abominable Strowman came out and demanded the title shot that Owens insinuated he would get a month prior. Owens tried to play stupid but Strowman demanded the title shot tonight. Before things escalated, Mick Foley came out and addressed the trio. He said that Strowman would get a title shot against Owens tonight!
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Woo’s
How much you wanna bet Roman Reigns costs Strowman the title?
— Ryan (@RyanSmithLWOS) January 31, 2017
Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn
This is a fun match idea. We’ve seen it a few times, but not so often that it’s beaten to death. If it leads to Sami Zayn eventually becoming United States Champion, I can’t tell you how much I’m for it. Zayn’s match against Seth Rollins last week was simply outstanding and he needs to be rewarded for his incredible work.
As fantastic as Jericho’s mic-work has been, he’s definitely lost a step as a worker. That’s not a criticism, Jericho is 46 years old and DDP Yoga can only do so much. But so much of Zayn’s unique style relies on his athleticism. The match was good, but it felt like Zayn had to slow down a bit so Jericho could keep up.
Personal Problem. The Walls of Jericho is an iconic move. But I don’t remember the last time anyone actually tapped out to it. It’s basically just a signature at this point. Since Jericho is in the stage of his career where he’s putting people over, maybe he should save it for matches he’s going to win?
Zayn eventually hit the Helluva Kick for the win, and hopefully it means that Zayn has earned a shot at the U.S. belt.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Woo’s
Tony Nese vs. Mustafa Ali
I thought removing CruiserWeights from the Raw review, then Tony Nese and Mustafa Ali came out. Nese is so remarkably talented, and if I could just get past how similar he and Neville look, there could be a fantastic feud. As for Mustafa, he’s from Chicago… So… I’m a little biased.
Despite the obvious athleticism of both men, the pacing of this match was weird. It started off very slow, and it would pick up for the spots, and then return to the snail’s pace. A mixed pace can work, but not for an entire match. Omega vs. Okada started slow but then was (total) nonstop action by the end. The whole bout lasted about four minutes, but it felt much longer, and not in a good way.
Segment/Match Quality- 4/10 Woo’s
Seth Rollins and Stephanie McMahon
Seth Rollins came out, and mocklingly ordered McMahon to come out to the ring. Rollins was on his A game tonight.
“Seth, I’m out here to disappoint you in many ways”
“Like you do to Triple H, ever night?”
This is the Seth Rollins we should’ve seen back in August, mocking the McMahon’s, and demanding Triple H. It reminded me of CM Punk circa 2011. That’s high, high praise coming from me.
Stephanie’s promos are so, so, so terribly bad. Rollins is starting to come into his own as a babyface, and Stephanie is a fun-vacuum, sucking all the momentum out of his segment. She demanded Rollins apologize for everything he’s done to her, and that’s what he did. Kinda. It’s more that he apologized for Triple H being a coward. He turned it around on her in a magnificent way.
Seth Rollins threatened to show up at WWE headquarters, board meetings, and even Triple H’s house. He said he had nothing to lose, and that he would do whatever it took to get his revenge, to slay the king.
Then Stephanie announced that Triple H is on his way to the ring, and for the love of God, Seth Rollins has arrived as a babyface. FINALLY. Know what that means? That’s right, the vaunted 11 woo’s! If this Rollins/HHH encounter is half as bad ass as it should be… we might get two of those tonight.
Segment/Match Quality- 11/10 Woo’s
Bayshesaro vs. Charlotte Club
Bayshesaro? Ah? Ah??? I tried. I really did. We’ve seen an increase in mixed tags lately, and so far they’ve all been pretty good. With all six of the superstars involved, this should be a pretty good one too!
The biggest problem with Raw is that we’ve seen this match 800 times, even with the women thrown in. Nothing really eventful happened, and you’re just waiting for the babyfaces to go over so they can justify another match.
And that’s exactly what happened. Bayley got the pin, and she’ll likely get another shot at Charlotte.
Segment/Match Quality- 6/10 Woo’s
Neville’s Coronation.
The King of the CruiserWeights came out and told the crowd that they witnessed the coronation of the true king of the cruiserweights, and that the purple belt was his crown. He was going on about how he earned his crown when Rich Swann came out.
Swann congratulated Neville for beating him at the Royal Rumble, and reminded Neville that he has a rematch coming. Swann accurately told Neville that the fight he was having with the fans was in his head. He told Neville that he hates to admit it, but that he is one of the very best. The former CruiserWeight Champion tried to shake Neville’s hand and the current champ denied it.
Neville insisted instead that Swann bow to him. Swann shrugged him off and tried to leave but Neville said “you do not turn your back on your king” and attacked Swann. The two brawled, and eventually Neville retreated. It was a quality segment.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Woo’s
Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman
As the third hour of the show began, the beast amongst men faced off against the Universal Champion for the ugly red belt. Chris Jericho was originally on commentary, but Strowman destroyed him before the match even started. How, oh how could Owens possibly retain??? Scroll up to my tweet from earlier for the answer!
Owens immediately ran out of the ring and tried to outrun Strowman, but Strowman quickly overpowered him. He cornered Owens in the ring and destroyed him. Strowman seemed to toy with Owens, throwing him around the ring like a rag-doll. What exactly are rag-dolls, and why are people always throwing them around?
It looked like Owens was about to lose the title when, guess what happened. Just guess. Really, just guess.
If you’ve been paying attention, then you already know. Roman Reigns came out, Superman punched Strowman, and the match was thrown out. Wow WWE, so creative, such surprise, much wow. Ancient booking begets ancient memes, Deal with it.
Reigns hit a spear off the steps, but he wasn’t done! He ran back into the ring and speared Owens as well. I heard he was walking through the locker-room, and he speared Linda McMahon, Road Dogg, and the Yeti. Heartless jerk.
Segment/Match Quality- 6/10 Woo’s
Brock Lesnar
24 hours after being bodied by Goldberg for the 800th time, Brock Lesnar made an appearance at Monday Night Raw. Is Brock supposed to be a babyface? Because I genuinely feel bad about the way he’s being booked. He’s so much better than Goldberg, and unless he literally murders the former WCW World Champion at WrestleMania, I don’t see how this feud makes sense for the guy who broke the streak.
Lesnar came out with his advocate, Paul Heyman, and they took the ring. Heyman explained how Goldberg has been the one thing separating Lesnar from being called the greatest ever. It’s interesting to note that Heyman mentioned Hulk Hogan in this segment. His comeback might be coming after all.
Heyman announced that Lesnar would be challenging one final time, this time at WrestleMania. Could you imagine being Brock Lesnar? You come to Raw, get paid a ton, and then just stand there while Paul Heyman talks. What a great job.
Segment/Match Quality- 8/10 Woo’s
Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
In a Royal Rumble rematch, Sasha Banks took on Nia Jax yet again on Monday Night Raw. The commentary team made a point to remind everyone that Banks is hurt. But hasn’t she been hurt? Banks has been part of an injury storyline since last summer now.
Not sure why this match happened, but Jax destroyed Banks. She threw her out of the ring, and literally slammed her against the ring post. At one point, Jax put Banks into a modified boston crab, bending her full bodyweight into stretching Banks’ knee, and something weird happened. The ref didn’t signal for the end of the match, but the bell rang, and then nobody really knew what was going on.
Jax put Banks into the submission, and Bayley came to the rescue. Banks left Bayley and Sasha in the ring, and I honestly can’t decide if this segment was great or terrible. It made Jax look like a remorseless monster, but the confusion about the end of the match was a little iffy.
Segment/Match Quality- 6/10 Woo’s
The Certified G’s vs. Handsome Rusev and Jinder Mahal
A tornado tag match! You don’t see many of these anymore. Here’s a question. Since he’s going by Handsome Rusev now, is Rusev mocking Cody Rhodes by wearing that mask? Cody also wore a similar mask when he was “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. Coincidence or a cheap shot from the WWE office?
Enzo Amore tore Jinder apart. Jinder Mahal is very vascular, so all of his veins are showing, and Enzo ate him alive. “You look like a roadmap, it’s a damn shame you’re not going anywhere”. That was brilliant.
Tornado tag team matches are hard to cover. There’s so much going on that you really can’t follow everything that’s happening. It was such a disaster that the first time someone got tossed over the top rope, I thought they were eliminated.
There was actually some wrestling logic as the two big wrestlers were able to dispose of the tiny Enzo and team up on Big Cass. However, eventually Cass launched his big guy comeback and the Certified G’s won. Where is this feud going? Why are they fighting again? Why should I care?
Segment/Match Quality- 3/10 Woo’s
Triple H and Seth Rollins
Motorhead played for the second straight week, but this time, Triple H actually came out. For the first time since he handed the title to Kevin Owens, Triple H was on Monday Night Raw. Triple H recounted Seth Rollins’ career so far, including how Triple H handed him every little thing he ever had. He broke down how Seth Rollins was a huge failure without Triple H.
Triple H’s promo was a little long-winded, but he was making up for six months of absence, and he’s much better at it than his wife. Triple H removed his blazer (CM Punk reference?) and loosened his tie before calling Seth Rollins out.
Seth Rollins came out and stared Triple H down. Rollins made his way down to the ring, and was attacked by Samoa Joe. Samoa Joe has made his Monday Night Raw debut! Joe destroyed Rollins, and choked him out with the coquina clutch as the show went off the air.
Segment/Match Quality- 11/10 Woo’s
Best Segment/Match of the Night- Triple H/Rollins
I mean, obviously. It was about time these two were actually face to face. For the first time since Owens became champion, these two were in the same ring, and Seth’s babyface turn is finally starting to go somewhere. Finally, the main event picture of Raw makes sense again. And when Samoa Joe came out?! WOW!
Worst Segment/Match of the Night- Jinder and Handsome Rusev vs. The Certified G’s
This feud needs to go away. It’s not entertaining, and the wins and losses are swapped so often that nobody cares anymore. We all know it’s vehicle for Big Cass to get over, and we’re all over it.
Show Quality- 9/10 Woo’s
Back-to-back weeks with a good Monday Night Raw? Okay, THIS I can get used to! The Rollins/HHH feud is finally picking up, and it finally felt like the A show. There was only one segment that was bad and all the talent seemed extra motivated to bring it! The WWE should bring more of this!
