“We had a guy who was the designated dive guy.” ~ Brian Urlacher, former Chicago Bears MLB, current idiot
The off-season saga of where Brian Urlacher would end up has now come completely around in a terrible twist of fate. The disgruntled veteran linebacker, for lack of better words, has completely thrown his team, his coaches and former teammates, under the bus – a big, fast-fast moving bus. His purpose? Chaos – it can only lead to chaos….and self-promotion.
We all know that late in games players are asked to mysteriously cramp up or twist an ankle – it’s not new, and it’s widely known. The reasons are as various as the faked injuries; sometimes it’s to stop a team from marching to the house, and others it’s to give a breather to an ailing and tired defense. My issue isn’t that the Bears had developed such a scheme – none of us are naive to think they are alone in that. The issue I take is that a disgruntled former professional has gone on record elaborating on how it worked, naming names (more or less), and throwing former friends and teammates under the proverbial bus.
According to Urlacher, the Bears had a guy who would make a swimming motion from the sidelines, which cued a designated player on the field to take a fall, twist his leg or clutch his ankle. While he said he wouldn’t name the coach who was in charge of this idiocy, it really wouldn’t be hard for anyone who gave a damn to watch some game film and find a guy literally swimming on the sideline of a football game followed by a player mysteriously watching said coach perform the front crawl leading to a self-induced quad pull. Does he think we’re all idiots?
Now, there is one more possibility to this whole story, one which is underhanded but makes sense. We know Urlacher is retired, and many will know that he just started working for Fox Football Daily over at the newly launched Fox Sports 1. See where I’m going with this conspiracy theory? Perhaps getting his name in the papers (they sell papers still, right?) might just have people tuning in to see what moronic thing he’ll say next. Is that so far-fetched? We know people who have made a career out saying stupid things because they like the sound of their own voices, though I won’t mention names…… Richard Sherman.
If this was isolated I would just chock it up to one moronic, weak moment, not so dissimilar to say the “Bradshaw incident” of a few years back – that was a bad mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. But the entire way he conducted himself since the conclusion of last season has been selfish and to be honest, a little childish. Sorry if $2 million is not enough for you and damages your precious ego, Bri, but that’s on you. I just feel this verbal diarrhea was meant to garner attention for his new gig. Am I wrong?
So at the end of the day Brian Urlacher’s legacy as a Chicago Bear is completely thrown off kilter. Can it be rescued? Gulp. I don’t think it can.
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