Last Word On Pro Football, Joe Garcia
Doctor Strange for all its silly trailer gimmicks is a solid movie. It has well placed humor, a good leading actor, Benedict Cumberbatch. And a good story to keep it all together. But you what else is good and strange, the 2016 NFL Season – no clear cut favorites, the Raiders being back, this year’s Chargers season, and so many of the football divisions still up for grabs.
So without further ado, let’s devote some of Doctor Strange’s quotes to this year’s contenders.
The Strange 2016 NFL Season
“Might I offer you some advice?”
To everyone betting on any team in the NFC North. Don’t. The Minnesota Vikings offense has fallen apart. The Green Bay Packers receivers can’t get open. Seriously, they’re third worst in yards per catch. Bad for a team that relies solely on their quarterback to bail them every time (more on this later). The Chicago Bears, well the Bears still have Jay Cutler. Sorry Bears fans. And Matt Stafford looks great, without Calvin Johnson. Skeptical. But that’s where we are. The Detroit Lions have Vegas odds to win the division (8-5, Minnesota & Green Bay at 7 to 4, and Tony Romo has a better chance at starting than the Bears winning the division). And it’s true, here’s the remainder of all of their schedules:
Option A – Jacksonville Jaguars, Vikings, New Orleans Saints, Bears, New York Giants, Dallas Cowboys, Packers
Option B – Washington Redskins, Philadelphia Eagles, Houston Texans, Seattle Seahawks, Bears, Vikings, Lions
Option C – Arizona Cardinals, Lions, Cowboys, Jaguars, Indianapolis Colts, Packers, Bears
Doesn’t Option A sound the friendliest? Option A is the Lions schedule (B = Green Bay, C = Minnesota).
“Forget everything that you think you know.”
This concerns the Packers mirage. They’re horrible. They’ve lost to the Colts and got trounced by the Titans.
But it’s easy to be duped though. They have the best quarterback, a semi-celebrity linebacker, star in great commercials, have averaged 11 wins over the last five years, and produced four division titles within that time span.
Everyone is expecting them to bounce back, including many of the experts. But they’re not. Here’s why:
Offensively they rank 18th, BEHIND Cleveland and Tampa Bay. They average an abysmal 6.5 yards per pass attempt (28th). And their receivers almost come in dead last in yards per catch (30th).
Defensively they don’t take the ball away enough (25th in turnover margin), give up a whopping 26 points/game (24th), are middle-of-the-road in allowing others to convert on 3rd downs (38.4%/12th), and allow opponents to convert 70% of the time on fourth downs. Somewhere, Steve Spurrier is drooling.
And if it wasn’t for them playing in the NFC North, they’d already be out of the playoff picture like the New York Jets, Jaguars, and San Francisco 49ers.
“You wonder what I see in your future? Possibility.”
We’re talking about this year’s Cowboys here. When was the last time two rookies on the same team created this much excitement!? Ezekiel Elliot leads all rushers in yards, tied for third in touchdowns, fifth in yards per attempt, and first in, “Is that a crop top?” reactions.
As for Dak Prescott, he’s been phenomenal and as solid as a rookie as you could possibly be. He’s fourth among all quarterbacks in passer rating (104.2 and ahead of Derek Carr), fourth in yards per attempt, has a 24/4 touchdown interception ratio, and possess a 66.5 completion percentage.
Also, if we were re-picking the last three years of quarterbacks right now, wouldn’t the pecking order look something like this:
- Derek Carr
2. Carson Wentz
4. Dak Prescott
Last… Johnny Manziel
So yes, he’s already that good.
“Why are you doing this?”
Can you hilariously imagine Bill O’Brien saying this to the football gods after every game!? To his credit he’s handcuffed to an abysmal quarterback who’s passer rating dwells near the bottom with Blaine Gabbert and Case Keenum. On top of that, his superstar defensive end, J.J. Watt, is out for the season.
Working against all of that though, O’Brien hasn’t done anything spectacular that screams offensive innovation even with two good receivers and a top seven running back. How is it that Bill Belichick can get more out of a third string quarterback than O’Brien out of his starter? Again, he lost to the Pats with a 60% Rob Gronkowski – like losing to the Patriots with one hand tied behind their back. And if this year’s surprise team, the Titans, wins the division, O’Brien will be questioning the football gods on Sundays from the comfort of his couch.
“I don’t believe in fairy tales.”
Did anyone else see the Titans joining the Kansas City Chiefs in this year’s group of super solid teams? That’s right, both Andy Reid AND Mike Mularkey are leading two of this year’s most steady teams. Here’s the best thing teams can do, understand what they are and stick to realistic goals/team strengths. Not fairy tales. Both teams had the same blueprints too – just run the ball, manage their quarterbacks, and let their defenses take care of the rest. And both have good chances of sneaking into the playoffs too. Can the Titans outpace Houston and Indy for the division title? Yes. And can the Chiefs steadiness especially with Justin Houston coming back lead them to the playoffs? Yes to that too.
“You’re work saved the lives of thousands.”
To everyone who fiscally went all-in on Seattle being crowned Super Bowl Champs, Pete Carroll’s work is vindicating (and maybe saving their lives too depending on how much they bet) their roll of the dice. Seriously, picking anyone for Super Bowl champion right now, Seattle is probably the most secure bet. They just out-dueled New England in a “Who has bigger cajones” game, and their defense can totally stymie the Cowboys while their offense overwhelms a Dallas defense devoid of a pass rush. Especially with Russell Wilson, Jimmy Graham, Doug Baldwin, and the rest of that crew doing their thing. Why Vegas stupidly placed better odds on the Cowboys and Patriots winning the Lombardi Trophy, no one knows.
But hold on…
“What if i told you, that reality is one of many.”
So that’s where the season is. Seattle is in the Super Bowl driver’s seat with Dallas and New England sharing shotgun and Oakland/New York/Atlanta riding backseat. Just don’t take your eyes off the rearview mirror, somewhere back there lurking is this year’s surprise all hell breaks loose team – Broncos, Ravens, Steelers.
