Welcome back to Quick Slant, the column that sorts through hundreds of headlines and brings you only the best, most interesting and downright stupid the NFL has to offer. The NFL is a smorgasbord of awesome storylines; some are analytical, others are critical, and some are just down right stupid. It’s the stupid ones I live for – they make my day. I try to offer my own take on the story in as few words as possible – some of us have a wife, kids and a job and don’t have time to read 5000+ word novels! So, without further ado, I give you today’s version of Quick Slant:
Let’s start today with Geno Smith, who has shot back at critics in the media. First, let’s gain some perspective. Geno Smith will be coming into this season on the heels of Mark Sanchez and the former Jet Tim Tebow. When one considers that, suddenly the sky opens up, the sun shines brightly, and everything seems that much greener – green as in brighter, more lucrative and more “J-E-T-S”……Mike Dee, the CEO of the Dolphins, has gone on record saying that the future of the team in Miami looks bleak. Apparently Sun Life Stadium needs repair and he doesn’t want to fix it, but neither does the city. Here’s a novel idea – get Sun Life, the company that earns trillions of dollars a day (give or take) in insurance fees to flip the bill. I’m sure they’ll be happy to spread the wealth – pshaw!……I’m sure you’ve heard already, but if not, Tim Tebow is the most influential athlete in sports according to a poll published by Forbes. In related news, Forbes have agreed never to conduct a poll again, ever, for the remaining history of the planet……The Cleveland Browns‘ seventh round pick, Armonty Bryant, was arrested for DUI. I know, *yawn*……In a move that temporarily saved him from horrendous scrutiny, newly signed Steelers draftee Landry Jones says he is not there to take over for Big Ben when the plowhorse finally retires. First lesson of being a rookie in the NFL: SHUT YOUR MOUTH. He may not be able to read a defense, yet, but at least he is figuring out the other part of being a football player.
That does it for today. Check back tomorrow and I’ll have sifted through the day’s headlines and give you what you need to know.
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