Sports. Honestly. Since 2011

The True Dat on Who Dat: Divisional Boo-hoo

Go ahead. Coronate the Seahawks for the Super Bowl.  But never underestimate the heart of a champion!

I have no more than a 20-minute break between two different appointments with two different shrinks. One of them is trying to resolve my football hypertension and the other will deal with my gumbo eating disorder and exercising some of previous Saint road demons simultaneously.

I spend more hours (approximately 15-plus) per week stat studying, compounded by searching for recent trends in analytically detailing my every syllable while asked more than 20 times each week about the next Saints game.  I have no reasoning skills whatsoever on a playoff game day to write anything in a stratified order. So before I dive into my favorite libation for an attitude readjustment that will be needed a few hours before kick-off, in no particular order…

Here are a spasmodic cornucopia of opinionated but very relevant (but at the same time very irrelevant) stats, brain farts, trends, hints, allegations, and otherwise “holy crap…. I had no idea’s”, that you can mull over:

Seahawks:

• Is the 5th strongest team statistically in last 20 yrs.
• Last year’s team ranked 7th in the last 20 years, and lost to the Falcons
• 7th best defence in the past 20 years…. ranking ahead of the 2000 Ravens
• In the last meeting, on 2 early fumbles – 1 by Lynch and 1 by Brees, the ‘Hawks had a 19% chance of recovering both, and they did
• Other than Matt Schaub (350+), no QB has thrown for more than 260 yds on the ‘Hawks
• ‘Hawks D gets turnovers on 20% of possessions (1st in NFL), giving Wilson a short field

Saints:

• Beat the Eagles by winning in the trenches with great tackling, gap integrity, and 1 on 1 match-ups, and great special teams
• And they didn’t “get lucky”, dipsh*t Jason Peters
• Possibly have just won their 1st payoff game but discovering SIMPLICITY
• Payton is 73-39 as a head coach, 6-3 in the playoffs
• During the ass-kicking last time in Seattle where it was 27-7 by half, and the Saints Win Probability (http://live.advancednflstats.com/) never exceeded 17%, and once they fell apart quickly, were done like dinner

(Saints, picture this: It’s your first date with the hot prom queen. And if you can pick her up without vomiting from nervousness, impress the parents at the front door without stuttering or slobbering, drive safely to the restaurant without rear ending another car en route to the restaurant because you’re starring at her chest; and get her coat and scarf off at the restaurant without inadvertently touching her left breast…YOU ARE ½ WAY HOME!

So, if again you vomit, stutter, slobber, get in an accident, and get slapped for sexual assault, YOU DON’T HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN THE GAME.

• Last meeting, D had several broken coverages (catches by Baldwin and Miller) that lead to 2 scores
• Last meeting, they went out to shut down Lynch, and did so. But didn’t contain Wilson. So again, pick your poison
• With Seahawks pass rush (Avril, Irvin, Bennett, Clemons) over-average most games, and the Saints O-Line over-average AT times, the wieners in the trenches will determine more than 60% of the TTL Saints production, as it appears the ‘Hawks – even they have a blemish – is downfield (so if Brees gets to his 3rd read, and another ½ second to throw, we’ll have a game until late in the 4th
• Brees is sacked on 5.5% of his drop backs, so the Saints can afford 2, or so
• Saints O turns the ball over on just under 9% of possessions, 2nd best in the league
• Saints, statistically and based on schedule were supposed to be an 11 win team.
• Are on there 3rd time zone in just over a week

Seasonal Conclusion:

1. Writers and bloggers are waxing about the weather, expecting torrential rain and winds topping out at 50 mph, and it “not being conducive to the Saint’s fast-paced style. WTF is that? Using the entire play clock, no hurry-up, and huddling every down is fast-paced? Have another cocktail.

2. Payton specifically, and the entire WHO DAT Nation for that matter CAN and will reserve the right to use Bountygate as motivation. To be in this position only 1 year after being raped by the NFL is miraculous.

3. Compound that with the remembrance that everything that could go wrong last time at the “fan earthquake”, did. And everything they could not “suck” at in order to win, they did!

But alas, the alcohol is saying one thing, and memories of my Mom betting against my Little League team are proving another.

I say this: with disposing of the Falcons and Eagles this year, we’d like to make it a trifecta, but….

With Saints up 22-17 and 24 seconds left in the 4th quarter, Golden child Wilson will scramble left on 4th down and heave the ball 40 yards to a crowded end zone.

You’ll hear “knock it down”, from both the TV crew and Saints faithful. And yet so DÉJÀ VU’ish – both the Saints D MVP Keenan Lewis and Golden Tate will come down simultaneously with the ball in the end zone. And the horror of all NFL fans is heard: “All scoring plays are reviewed, so they will go under the hood to look at this!”

Green Bay and New Orleans become brothers in arms.

We Who Dat faithful drink heavily. The phones light up. Twitter overloads. And once again – not the rain, not the wind, not the world’s loudest outdoor stadium, not the best defence in 20 years, and not the most categorically prolific offence over the last decade – will determine the final outcome.

But again, remember this: “Never underestimate the heart of a champion!”

Once again, to every WHO DAT friend, like last week:

“Throw Solid Bricks at the Screen, and Do It For A Good Reason, and We’ll See All Ya Who Dats in the Off-Season!”

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