Preseason is upon us, and after the New England Patriots put the stomp on the Detroit Lions in their first preseason battle (31-3), it’s high-time we examine the team’s forthcoming schedule both at home and on the road. This year, the Patriots are taking on the AFC East—the usual suspects—as well as the NFC East, AFC North and two teams from the AFC South and AFC West, respectively. All in all, the Patriots are facing a well-rounded group of opponents this year. This article will be broken into two parts, each dedicated to the team’s easiest and hardest games throughout the season. This half is dedicated to the New England Patriots easiest games, but you can find the link to the most difficult games below.
The New England Patriots Hardest Games in 2019
The New England Patriots Easiest Games in 2019
Week Five: @ Washington Redskins
Adrian Peterson, Jordan Reed and, uh, Josh Norman? Let’s go ahead and call those three guys the best players on the Washington Redskins this year. Like Tom Brady, Adrian Peterson has shown that age is but a number when it comes to this game. He put up great numbers last season and will likely run alongside Derrius Guice in terms of carries this year. Reed, playing tandem with Vernon Davis, will end up serving as Washington’s two tight ends. Josh Norman, ever the talk—never the walk (but a pretty good dancer)—is probably the team’s best cornerback, which isn’t saying much. Look, from the top down, there’s just nothing about the Redskins that really scares us here. There’s a reason why resale tickets for this game start at less than $100 and get more expensive the closer you get to the visiting team’s bench.
Week 15: @ Cincinnati Bengals
Five years after head coach Bill Belichick’s infamous remarks, it looks like we’re on to Cincinnati…again. Looking at this group, once again, there’s not a lot to fear. Andy Dalton? Please. Tyler Eifert? Given his history, we wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on IR at this point in the season. Short of A.J. Green, this team’s receiving corps is in worse shape than New England’s. Sans Vontaze Burfict, the biggest threat here is Joe Mixon—and that’s if the Patriots defensive line can’t stop the run.
Week 12: vs. Dallas Cowboys
Dak Prescott is Tom Brady-esque. He’s the heart and soul of the Cowboys just like Brady is the heart and soul of the Patriots. More @Undisputed, now on FS1 https://t.co/6ZheOzTwo3
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) August 8, 2019
It’s funny that Jerry Jones likes to talk about what it takes to win championships considering the Dallas Cowboys haven’t won one since…oh, has it really been almost 25 years? Skip Bayless likes to say that Dak Prescott is the Tom Brady of the Cowboys, but we disagree. In fact, we’re offended by that notion. Amid rumors that Ezekiel Elliott won’t play without a new contract, Amari Cooper is the team’s best offensive weapon. And sure, he’s great, but a single guy won’t win a game for you—especially not with the depth of New England’s secondary (talk about stacked). I’m convinced that the ghost of Jason Witten has only risen from the grave to guide this team toward the eternal light. Next.
Week Nine: @ Baltimore Ravens
The Baltimore Ravens laid the spank on the Jacksonville Jaguars in week one of preseason, which was beautiful. That being said, Baltimore’s playoff run last year was a fluke. Yes, the team nabbed Mark Ingram and Earl Thomas over the offseason. Sure, they still have Justin Tucker. But let’s not forget who else lives on the Ravens roster: Cyrus Jones. Yes, the same Cyrus Jones who was drafted by the Patriots, recorded no pass deflections or interceptions in his rookie year and fumbled five returns. The guy has bounced back and forth between the Patriots and the Ravens in three years. Nevertheless, one preseason shutout doesn’t make you worthy of New England’s fear. You know what does? John Harbaugh whining about the rules after getting stomped by the Brady Bunch. Again.
Week Six: vs. New York Giants
This was a close call. For whatever reason, the New York Giants have the Patriots number. Still, Eli Manning continues to spiral downward in his halfhearted attempts to match up to his brother’s legacy. This one’s personal, really. I just want to see the fear in Eli’s eyes when the New England secondary has his diminishing receiving corps locked up and he sees a handful of Patriots linebackers breaking through his offensive line. It’ll end up being a close game, naturally, but the Patriots walk away with the W and another temporary band aid over the still-open wounds that are Super Bowls XLII and XLVI.
Weeks Three, Four, Seven, 16 and 17: AFC East
Is this a cop-out? Whatever. “The AFC East hands Tom Brady six games a year,” they say. It’s actually five, because playing the Miami Lolphins Dolphins at home is our kryptonite, but that statement is still patently untrue. Nonetheless, look at the rest of the AFC East. Adam Gase has moved from Miami to New York to coach the New York Jets and Sam Darnold. He managed to grab Le’Veon Bell at a stupid price, but okay. Bell never posed much of an issue when the Steelers played the Patriots anyway. Former de facto defensive coordinator for the Patriots, Brian Flores, stole Chad O’Shea from New England and is now coaching the Dolphins, who feature one of the worst rosters in the league. And the Buffalo Bills? Snore. One or two of these games will inevitably come down to the wire—and please Santa, no Miami Miracles this year?—but the Patriots own the AFC East, 86-24.
We’ll leave you with this stunning shot of new Jets head coach Adam Gase sniffing, uh, something before last night’s first preseason game.
Did Adam Gase just take smelling salts before a preseason game? pic.twitter.com/gVINzrkcjW
— Andrew Perloff (@andrewperloff) August 8, 2019
