The SEC coaches and administrators traveled to Destin, Florida, this week for the SEC’s annual Spring Meetings. The goal of this year’s meeting was to address the future of college athletics. There was plenty of big talk, including voting on new SEC governance rules, debating College Football Playoff (CFP) expansion models, and discussing potential plans to break away from the NCAA. Those are big and scary topics, kinda like not winning or appearing in a national championship game for three straight years. The most interesting thing to come out of the meetings, though, is what came out of the SEC coaches’ mouths. They were actually pretty funny and amused us (yes, like a clown). Let’s take a look at some of the biggest news to come out of Destin this week by looking at our best one-liners from the mouths of our favorite SEC coaches.
The Best One Liners from SEC Coaches in Destin
No More Cupcakes
“That’s the end of cupcake weekend.”
The third Saturday in November, a.k.a. “Cupcake Week,” is going to become a lot less sweet in 2027 and beyond. SEC athletic directors voted to play conference games in the next-to-last week of the regular season, starting in 2027. “That’s the end of cupcake weekend,” SEC commish Greg Sankey said. The league has faced challenges from fans and the media for playing FCS and directional schools at the end of the season. These games are not going away. SEC fans will now have to sit in the blistering heat in early September to face these schools.
Jon Sumarll’s New Coaching Woes
“Full disclosure: it was a sh*t show”
There is plenty of excitement in Florida for new head coach Jon Sumrall. He was hired away from Tulane at the start of December. Unlike the coach from Ole Miss that will not be named, Sumrall was allowed to stay and coach with the Green Wave as they prepared to face Ole Miss (ironic?) in the first round of the CFB Playoff in Oxford. Sumrall was asked what it was like trying to coach and prepare a team for their first CFB Playoff appearance, and also to build a roster and staff at their new job. It didn’t sound easy or fun. “I was doing two jobs for three weeks. Dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Stupid. Full disclosure: it was a sh*t show.”
Sumrall’s opponent, Ole Miss, didn’t allow their defunct head coach to stay and coach the team in the Playoff, maybe you heard or read about this. Sumrall went on and said he wouldn’t have accepted another job if he wasn’t allowed to coach Tulane in the playoffs: “I was not going to leave my team to coach another team. That’s not a shot at anybody.” We can assure you, it most definitely a shot at somebody, and it was at Lane Kiffin.
Nobody Cares What Alex Golesh Thinks
“Whoever is figuring it out, God bless them.”
The CFB Playoff just expanded from four teams to 12 teams two years ago. Now, most of college football is calling for more. There are rumors of a 24-team playoff coming soon. This is most definitely a case where it just means more, actually means less. Exclusivity is a feature, not a bug, when it comes to the size of the playoffs. The more exclusive, the more important the regular-season games become. New Auburn head coach Alex Golesh was asked his opinion on the optimal playoff size. His response was pretty good. “The (number of teams in the) College Football Playoff is the last thing I’ve thought about. Man, no one cares if I think it’s 12, 16, or 24 (teams). Whoever is figuring it out, God bless them.”
Elko is a Man and Wants 40
“I won’t get fired.”
While Goelsh was spreading blessings, Texas A&M head coach Mike Elko had some tongue-in-cheek comments that accurately captured the sentiment of many coaches and commissioners around college football on the expansion talk. “What does Mike Elko want? 40. Then I won’t get fired.” That is the crux. The argument seems to be that the more teams that get in the playoffs, the fewer coaches and athletic directors that will get fired. It’s not what’s best for the sport, but only what is best for the coach or program. We are glad that Elko echoed this sentiment. “It’s ok to make it hard to get to the playoffs. None of us is answering for the good of the sport. We’re answering for the good of ourselves.”
Injunction Junction in Texas and Mizzou
“Maybe they find a local judge that will allow them to use the formation they want.”
If mom says no, ask dad. While that may have worked when we were little, it should not be a practice we use when we don’t get our way as adults. But time and again, we have seen college athletes go and try to sue when they don’t like a rule or the “way things are.” Texas’ Steve Sarkisian did a great job of capturing this sentiment on the current state of college athletics: “Now it’s when I break a rule, if I don’t like it, I go get a judge to get an injunction. I don’t think that’s what we want. We have to get past that era of college athletics.” Where is the joke here? Well, Sark missed it here, but Mizzou coach Eli Drinkwitz came to the rescue.
Drink was asked about the new punt rules for college football in 2026. They are a little convoluted, and we won’t waste your time explaining them here. Instead, we will leave you with Drink’s quote on what critics of the new punt rule should do. “Maybe they find a local judge that will allow them to use the formation they want.”
Drink may not bring playoff games to CoMO, but he will always be entertaining.
Main Image: Maria Lysaker-Imagn Images
