{"id":117329,"date":"2022-12-27T11:00:20","date_gmt":"2022-12-27T16:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/prowrestling\/?p=117329"},"modified":"2022-12-26T15:45:33","modified_gmt":"2022-12-26T20:45:33","slug":"santas-slay-goldberg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/prowrestling\/2022\/12\/27\/santas-slay-goldberg\/","title":{"rendered":"WrestleCinema: ‘Santa’s Slay’ Featuring Goldberg – Is It Good?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Santa’s Slay<\/em> starts with a busty brunette delivering a turkey to a table. She then squabbles with her family which includes Elf<\/em> star, James Caan. Caan hopes the bickering could stop. You probably would too. <\/span>Luckily, Santa Goldberg comes down the chimney and slaughters everyone. The brunette (Fran Drescher) first has her hair torched by a fire-breathing Goldberg before he drowns her in eggnog. <\/span>Santa Goldberg slays everyone else. You’ll know within these opening three minutes<\/a> if Santa’s Slay<\/em> featuring Bill Goldberg<\/strong> is the movie for you. <\/span><\/p>\n

But here’s our take on the rest of the film.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Santa’s Slay: Is It Good?<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

The Plot<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Ok. So privileged family slaughter aside, what’s the film about?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Claire from Lost<\/em><\/a> works at a deli where she serves sandwiches and makes doe eyes at her coworker. All signs point to some festive frolicking.\u00a0 <\/span>Then Claire from Lost\u2019s<\/em> coworker is told the truth about Christmas by his crazy grandfather. Santa is the son of the devil. Traditionally, he used to go on a killing spree every Christmas but lost a bet to an angel, forcing him to spend 1,000 years delivering presents instead of killing. Santa has done his time and can now return to town to slay the residents.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mid-story, Claire from Lost<\/em> arrives and gives grandad a dead wolverine and her coworker a gun. <\/span>Santa Goldberg spends the rest of the movie slaying people. <\/span>Claire from Lost<\/em> and her coworker attempt to foil Santa Goldberg whilst making various jokes about the male anatomy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Any Wrestling?<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

The film was released in 2005, a year after Goldberg left WWE and took a 10-year hiatus from wrestling.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Proving he was missing wrestling, Goldberg superkicks someone to death in the film. Goldberg also spears the deli owner, gorilla press slams a couple of people to death, and hits several short-arm clotheslines. Goldberg also kicks Vince Russo<\/strong> in the nuts in a strip club (honestly, that’s 100% in the movie).<\/span><\/p>\n

He also shoves a candy cane through someone\u2019s eye socket. Don’t remember that from SmackDown<\/em><\/strong>? Just wait until this year’s Miracle of 34th Street Fight<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Who Wins, Is It Good?<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

We wouldn’t want to spoil the ending. But let’s just say no spear or jackhammer could counter Claire from Lost<\/em> and her coworkers\u2019 desire to survive so they can finally snog.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The movie is just over an hour long so you can watch it two-and-a-half times during Monday Night Raw<\/em><\/strong>. It is silly, funny and very enjoyable. Give it a watch.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n