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Carlos Kaiser – The Greatest Player to Never Kick a Ball

Carlos Kaiser

Meet Carlos Kaiser, a Brazilian footballer whose magical ingenuity was not really found on the pitch but rather in avoiding being on the pitch in the first place.

Carlos Kaiser – The Greatest Player to Never Kick a Ball

Who Is Carlos Kaiser?

Most football fans have had to accept the disappointing reality that no matter how desperately they want to live the footballer lifestyle, they simply lack the ability to become football’s next international star.  But maybe the dream is not yet dead.  What if there was a way to unlock the sports cars, adulation and big football contracts, without even being able to kick a ball?  What if being a charismatic and talented deceiver can pave the way for a 26-year career in the world’s greatest sport?  Welcome to the unbelievable story of Brazil’s Carlos Kaiser.  

Due to spending his life pretending to be a character, some of Kaiser’s claims have been both confirmed and disputed by others who feature in the young striker’s journey, including the length of his career.  Despite Carlos declaring a 26-year career, estimates are closer to 11 years.  This is still an impressive number for someone who couldn’t move with a ball at his feet.

Born in April 1963, a young Carlos Henrique Raposo always knew he wanted to hit the big time at the peak of Brazillian football culture.  In his words, he was nicknamed Kaiser in reference to the nickname of Franz Beckenbauer, one of the world’s most acclaimed players at the time.  However, some of his friends dispute this, saying it was in reference to the Beer brand, as their bottles were shaped quite wide.  He began his youth career, but coaches and players alike soon realised that Carlos had a high level of fitness and not much else.  Showing no skill with a ball at his feet, his teammates would have scoffed at the idea of him developing a career through football.  However, he managed to achieve his first professional contract at Mexican team Puebla after impressing in a fitness training session.  Despite not playing a single game for them over his 3 months there, this gave him the ammunition to begin his long facade.  

 

Method Behind the Madness

After his spell in Mexico, Carlos returned to Brazil and gained powerful friendships through the Rio De Janeiro nightlife scene.  This included professional footballers and sports journalists.  With the former putting in good words with managers and the latter creating fake stories in the papers about his career, clubs would suck up these stories and sign the player on short trial contracts.  After this, he would claim to be low on match fitness, so would only participate in regular fitness training for weeks, until he could pull off a fake hamstring injury.  Due to MRI scans not being common in those times, this worked a treat.  He would run down the short term trial contract, usually lasting three months, and then repeat the process.  He would also help his facade by using fake mobile phones to take non-existent calls about transfer offers.  During this era, injuries were not easy to dispute, leading to owners and manager to often “take his word for it”.  This is also true for his journalist accomplices, as alternative information was not readily available.  

 

A Documentary Deal

We have only just brushed the complexities and genius behind Kaiser’s long, established career.  In 2018, the UK production company, Nods and Volleys Entertainment Limited, premiered a documentary telling the tale of Carlos Kaiser.  The film goes into detail on many aspects of Carlos’ journey, including his hilarious introduction to the world of fame with his connection to Renato Gaucho, one of Brazil’s greatest players of the time. It also shows the aftermath of having a career as a conman, with the glitz and the glammer being merely temporary.

An unbelievable real-life story, showing the ups and downs of the fascinating life of Carlos Henrique Raposo.  It is a great insight into how one man fooled the footballing world from Mexico to Brazil and even with stints in Europe.

Main Photo

Credit: Carlos Kaiser

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