The best cricket jokes and puns to tell your friends

Sam Curran tells a funny cricket joke to his England teammates.

Funny cricket jokes that will have you laughing

Cricket can sometimes be a tedious and informative game. There is a lot of analysis and data being used in the modern era, in order to help give teams the best chance to succeed statistically. The best cricket jokes can be a great distraction to help both players and fans relax and realise that it is just a game.

In this article, we will talk about some of the funniest cricket jokes and puns that will make you laugh for hours!

Disclaimer: No fans should take any offence from these jokes because they are only intended to make readers laugh and they are light-hearted. So, sit back and enjoy the article!



Cricket is a sport that requires great fitness and training at all times but especially prior to a big season of games. The right type of diet needs to be consumed if players want to perform at their peak. So, with that in mind.

Question: Is it true that some types of meat should be avoided during the cricket preseason?

Answer: Yes, having special cuisines such as duck can have a massive downfall on your batting form!


England arrived Down Under in 2017/18 thinking that they would stand a good chance of retaining the Ashes. However, Steve Smith had other ideas and the visitors lost 4-0. Incredibly, he was convicted of ball-tampering just 3 months later.

Fast forward to the 2019 Ashes at home, England were looking to win back the urn and fans were up for some fun.

Question: Nathan Lyon was in the middle of a spell and an English fan shouts “Oi Garry, is that sandpaper trailing from your pocket.”

Answer: To which Nathan Lyon replied “Nah mate, just the Ashes.”


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Nathan Lyon is one of the best players to use for jokes because he has plenty of nicknames and funny moments.
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – SEPTEMBER 08: Nathan Lyon of Australia and Steve Waugh, Australian Team Mentor, celebrate in the change rooms after Australia claimed victory to retain the Ashes during day five of the 4th Specsavers Test between England and Australia at Old Trafford on September 08, 2019 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)

This next joke perhaps does not apply as much now as it did previously, since the team has improved so significantly that they have won a World Cup between then and now.

But for the purposes of this joke, we will assume that we are still in 2015. “Trent Boult carrying New Zealand. Mitchell Starc carrying Australia. British Airways carrying England!”



No prologue required for this next joke. It is fairly self-explanatory.

Question: What is Shane Watson‘s least favourite fruit to eat?

Answer: Plum (LBW)


Don’t think prologues are required for these jokes either to be honest.

Question: Why are fielders so well behaved with their friends and families?

Answer: They know the dimensions of their boundaries pretty well!


Question: What is the difference between a poor opening batsman and Cinderella?

Answer: Cinderella knew when to leave the ball!


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England’s Gary Ballance (R) reacts after being bowled by Pakistan’s Rahat Ali on the first day of the second Test cricket match between England and Pakistan at Old Trafford Cricket Ground in Manchester, north west England on July 22, 2016. / AFP / OLI SCARFF (Photo credit should read OLI SCARFF/AFP via Getty Images)


A cricketer goes to the doctor, feeling slightly funny after a club cricket game. The individual doesn’t particularly know why but they feel slightly round. They visit the doctor and ask:

Question: “Doctor, Doctor, I need your help, I think I am a cricket ball.”

Answer: The doctor confusingly replies, “How’s that?”


Question: How do leg-spin bowlers find things online?

Answer: The Googly it!


Question: Why is it safe to have fun with a cricketer after a night out?

Answer: They always wear protection out in the middle!


Question: Why do opening batsmen use Gillette before going out at the top of the order?

Answer: In case the opening bowlers start well and bowl close to the off-stump constantly, they can get away with a close shave and survive!



This next one might constitute as more of a sledge but we’ve decided to add it here anyway! Mark Waugh, while batting, has sledged Jimmy Ormond, saying he’s not good enough to play for England.

To which, Jimmy Ormond replies “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best cricketer in my family.”


Question: What’s the difference between Steve Smith and a ballet dancer?

Answer: Good question. I haven’t come up with an answer yet!


Question: Why did the cricket team require a lighter?

Answer: Because they lost all their matches prior to this!


We hope you enjoyed our best cricket jokes and found them funny!


Main Image Credit:
Embed from Getty Images