{"id":107950,"date":"2025-10-02T01:04:00","date_gmt":"2025-10-02T05:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/?p=107950"},"modified":"2025-10-02T01:04:00","modified_gmt":"2025-10-02T05:04:00","slug":"top-10-nutty-social-media-theories-from-pirates-fans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/2025\/10\/02\/top-10-nutty-social-media-theories-from-pirates-fans\/","title":{"rendered":"And Now. . . The Top 10 Nutty Social Media Theories from Pirates Fans"},"content":{"rendered":"

Social media is a place where downright nutty theories are presented as facts, and Pirates fans certainly do their part. For the first time, we present the top 10 nutty social media theories posted by Pittsburgh Pirates fans during the just-concluded 2025 regular season. I did my best to distinguish between times when people were only joking and times when people actually believed what they were saying, no matter how ridiculous, even though these things could easily be debunked simply by spending a couple of minutes on a search engine.<\/p>\n

\"The
Sep 5, 2023; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA; General exterior view before the Pittsburgh Pirates host the Milwaukee Brewers at PNC Park. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The Top 10 Nutty Social Media Theories from Pirates Fans<\/h2>\n

In a 1994 article, then-Vice President Al Gore argued for nationwide internet access, saying, \u201cWe can’t create a nation of information haves and have-nots.\u201d Although the internet is indeed available to all thanks to the efforts of Gore and others on a bipartisan basis, we still have plenty of \u201cinformation have-nots.\u201d We honor them with this article. But before we get to our top 10, let\u2019s examine some recurring themes found in my exhaustive social media search. Note that none of the fan statements presented below are factual. They do not represent the opinions or beliefs of this writer or Last Word on Sports. In fact, we think this is all, to quote Pittsburgh legend Myron Cope, \u201ca bunch of gorgonzola.\u201d Posters\u2019 names have been omitted to protect the delusional.<\/p>\n

Why are the Pirates So Bad?<\/h3>\n

The most popular theory presented as a factual reason for why the Pirates have been so bad is that they\u2019re doing it on purpose. It starts at the top with owner Bob Nutting. Before manager Derek Shelton<\/a> was fired<\/a>, one fan posted that he was \u201cdoing what Nutting wants him to, which is to suck.\u201d So why was he fired? Nutting did it \u201cto distract from how cheap he is,\u201d as if the fans are ever going to get off that bandwagon. (More on that subject in a bit.) Shelton was “trying to get fired anyway.” That\u2019s why the \u201ccrazy lineups and pitching changes.\u201d Pirates fans didn\u2019t mind, as Shelton was a \u201cBusch League\u201d manager. I imagine the Busch League champion competes against the Sam Adams champion in the annual World Series of Beer.<\/p>\n

Once Don Kelly<\/a> was tabbed<\/a> to replace Shelton, according to one poster, he was told by general manager Ben Cherington, \u201cYou\u2019re not doing anything,\u201d meaning anything good, because the Pirates want the first pick in next year\u2019s draft. \u00a0In fact, since 2023, the worst record in baseball no longer guarantees the first overall pick in the draft. So why would Nutting want Kelly to do a bad job? The internet had two theories. First, because Nutting is \u201cpurposely trying to destroy baseball in Pittsburgh.\u201d Second, he wants Hollywood to come to PNC Park and make a Major League<\/em>-type movie about the Pirates. No word on whether Matt Eberflus would be interested in auditioning for the role of Shelton.<\/p>\n

Sucking on Purpose<\/h3>\n

Payroll is a motivating \u2013 or rather, dis-motivating – factor. According to one fan, \u201cThe Pirates drafted<\/a> Henry Davis<\/a> because they knew he\u2019d suck and they wouldn\u2019t have to pay him long term.\u201d Ditto Oneil Cruz<\/a>, whom the Pirates \u201cwant to suck so they don\u2019t have to pay him down the road.”<\/p>\n

Thus, Kelly, conspiring with the Pirates\u2019 bullpen, was \u201cthrowing the season on purpose.\u201d One fan had it all figured out on July 6. That\u2019s when the Pirates completed a series in Seattle where they were shut out in all three games. This, after a three-game sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, where the Pirates tossed three shutouts. However, once the Pirates got to Seattle, \u201cthey realized they\u2019re not supposed to be good.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some players were playing \u201clousy\u201d so that they wouldn\u2019t be traded. Others played poorly so that they would<\/em> be traded.<\/p>\n

Tough It Out!<\/h3>\n

Pirates fans littered social media with other reasons for their favorite team\u2019s failures. For some, the team wasn\u2019t tough enough. One cited a lack of dedication from Bryan Reynolds<\/a>, who \u201cmissed games with a strained triceps and took paternity leave.\u201d Reynolds actually led the Pirates with 154 games played and 654 plate appearances. Some malingerer.<\/p>\n

Another fan accused center fielder Cruz of \u201cquitting on the team\u201d when he left a game on August 12. Cruz and left fielder Jack Suwinski<\/a> both dove for the same fly ball. Cruz\u2019s head collided violently with Suwinski\u2019s shoulder. The fact that Cruz went on the concussion injured list didn\u2019t deter this fan. Instead, he doubled down by saying Cruz was “faking” the concussion because he hadn\u2019t \u201chit Suwinski that hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

The much-maligned, underachieving Cruz is a favorite target of Pirates fans on social media. He \u201cdoesn\u2019t want to be on the field.\u201d He\u2019s \u201cdepressed because he plays for the worst owner in sports.\u201d (Don\u2019t worry, we\u2019ll get to Nutting soon enough!) According to other posters, who I\u2019m guessing don\u2019t have licenses to practice medicine or psychology, Cruz \u201cisn\u2019t mentally fit for major league baseball\u201d and \u201cneeds attention-deficit meds.\u201d It would help \u201cif he\u2019d learn to speak English,\u201d but he\u2019s \u201ctoo lazy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Other Causes<\/h3>\n

For some, excessive drinking was an issue. I suppose that\u2019s what happens when one spends too much time in the Busch League. Another suggested that \u201cPittsburgh\u2019s woke ways encourage failure.\u201d For a word nobody seems to be able to define, being \u201cwoke\u201d sure gets blamed for a lot.<\/p>\n

Conspiracy theories abounded. To wit: Cherington kept payroll low \u201cso he could give himself a bonus out of the baseball budget.\u201d Reliever Colin Holderman<\/a> was ineffective when he returned from his first IL stint on April 26 because he \u201cdidn\u2019t really go to Indianapolis and pitch during his rehab assignment.\u201d Actually, it was easy to verify that he pitched in two games there during rehab. Another called for a media investigation of Tommy Pham<\/a>\u2019s \u201csuspicious\u201d contract<\/a>. The theory was that he could have been signed for the league minimum. Why Pham would ever have agreed to that went unexplained.<\/p>\n

For some, Cherington and Kelly are \u201cyes men\u201d who need to \u201cgrow a pair\u201d and \u201cstand up to Nutting.\u201d More than one suggested that the only reason Cherington has a job is because \u201che does what Nutting tells him to do.\u201d Of course, this pretty much describes why every working person in the world has a job. I can almost guarantee that the people who post this stuff wet their pants whenever their boss comes within 100 yards of them.<\/p>\n

For others, too many players \u201cwant out of Pittsburgh.\u201d Specifically named were Cruz, Mitch Keller<\/a>, Reynolds, Paul Skenes<\/a>, and, strangely, Rafael Flores<\/a>, who just got there<\/a>. One fan insisted that Reynolds was trying to get traded to that baseball mecca, Kansas City.<\/p>\n

On Skenes<\/h3>\n

Pirates fans on social media are particularly sensitive to Skenes\u2019s plight, as though he\u2019s entitled to a World Series ring by virtue of his very existence. Fans say he should demand a trade. One suggested that \u201che sit out until he gets one.\u201d Bert Blyleven<\/a> tried that in 1980<\/a>. After a period where he wasn\u2019t being paid, he returned to the Pirates. Another suggested that Skenes \u201crefuse to pitch, let the Pirates sue him, and his new team would pay the settlement.\u201d That won\u2019t work, either. He\u2019d simply be put on the inactive list without pay. No other team could sign him. Still another suggested he fake an injury, without elaborating on what that would accomplish. Absurdly and without evidence, somebody recently reported that Skenes\u2019s agent was in the midst of negotiations with the Savannah Bananas<\/a>.<\/p>\n

On Nutting<\/h3>\n

Of course, Nutting is the villain as far as the Pirates faithful are concerned. In April, DK on Pittsburgh Sports<\/em> published a thorough, exhaustive report on the Pirates\u2019 finances and determined that the Pirates lost $2.2 million in 2024<\/a>, and the actual cash flow was even worse when one considered principal payments on three bank loans and capital expenditures. But in this era of distrust of the media, people believe what they want to believe. Some even accused Nutting of paying for the report.<\/p>\n

Thus, depending on which poster you believe, Nutting is pulling $30, $82.1, $100, or $150 million from the Pirates. How somebody pulled the $82.1 million figure out of the air is unknown. Maybe he figured adding a decimal point would make it seem legitimate. Another stated with confidence, \u201cNutting has two sets of books, one he lets the public see, and one that shows him making a killing.\u201d In fact, the Pirates\u2019 books aren\u2019t open to the public.<\/p>\n

Nutting has been called a \u201cdictator,\u201d \u201cextortionist,\u201d and \u201ccarpetbagger,\u201d apparently by people who couldn\u2019t define those terms. Most businesses are run as dictatorships. Few are run as democracies.<\/p>\n

Nutting has also been accused of plowing the Pirates’ profits into the Seven Springs Mountain Resort and The Boston Globe<\/em>. Nutting sold Seven Springs in 2021. He has never had an interest in The Globe<\/em>. Another stated, without offering proof, that other baseball owners invest one-third of earnings back into their teams, while Nutting invests less than one-fourth. Where do people get this stuff?<\/p>\n

Citing Nutting’s estimated $1.1 billion net worth, it\u2019s been suggested that the Pirates\u2019 payroll should be $300 million per year. Assuming that the $1.1 billion is 100 percent liquid, which is doubtful, that would provide less than four years of $300 million annual payroll. Then what?<\/p>\n

Solutions<\/h3>\n

Rather than complain about the Pirates, some on social media offer suggestions. For some, a player\/manager is the answer. Andrew McCutchen<\/a> has been suggested, as well as, ludicrously, Trevor Bauer<\/a>. For others, the answer to all that ails the Pirates is eschewing the designated hitter in favor of letting certain pitchers bat. This Murderer\u2019s Row included Bubba Chandler<\/a>, Keller and his .079 lifetime average, Skenes, and most bafflingly, David Bednar<\/a>.<\/p>\n

One fan posited that a position switch was in order: Reynolds to first base and Joey Bart<\/a> to right field. The Pirates don\u2019t have a great track record of moving catchers to right field, having tried that with Manny Sanguill\u00e9n<\/a>, Jason Kendall<\/a>, and Davis. Of course, fans want to designate any player who has a bad game for assignment and replace him with a prospect from the minors. When all else fails, just make up a name. One poster clamored for \u201cCamaro,\u201d while another said the Pirates shouldn\u2019t have signed \u201cTyson.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yinzer Trade Proposals<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Of course, nothing says \u201cyinzer\u201d like a trade proposal that the other team would never entertain in a million lifetimes. The consensus is that Cherington should try to acquire a team\u2019s \u201cgood players\u201d or “best prospects,” as if he never thought of that. One social media mastermind called for the Pirates to trade Gregory Polanco<\/a> and David Ross<\/a>. Polanco last played for the Pirates in 2021, Ross in 2005.<\/p>\n

Here are some of the more interesting trade proposals that would happen only in the minds of the social media denizens among Pirates fans:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Trade partner<\/strong><\/td>\nPirates give up<\/strong><\/td>\nPirates get<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Red Sox<\/td>\nBailey Falter<\/a> or Andrew Heaney<\/a><\/td>\nRob Refsnyder<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Phillies<\/td>\nSkenes<\/td>\nBryce Harper<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Nationals<\/td>\nBednar and Keller<\/td>\nJosh Bell<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mariners<\/td>\nKe\u2019Bryan Hayes<\/a><\/td>\nRowdy Tellez<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Athletics<\/td>\nCruz<\/td>\nJacob Wilson<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Dodgers<\/td>\nKeller<\/td>\nAndy Pages<\/a> & \u201canother player\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cubs<\/td>\nKeller<\/td>\nJames Triantos<\/a>, Brandon Birdsell<\/a>, & Ben Cowles<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Yankees<\/td>\nHayes, Keller, & Dennis Santana<\/a><\/td>\nSpencer Jones<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Phillies<\/td>\nBraxton Ashcraft<\/a>, Keller, & Reynolds<\/td>\nAidan Miller<\/a> & Justin Crawford<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Yankees<\/td>\nHayes, Keller, & Isiah Kiner-Falefa<\/a><\/td>\nJones<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Rockies<\/td>\nHayes & \u201cprospects\u201d<\/td>\nRyan McMahon<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Tigers<\/td>\nBednar, Keller, Kiner-Falefa, & Pham<\/td>\nKevin McGonigle<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Anybody<\/td>\nKiner-Falefa & Pham<\/td>\n\u201cA power-hitting first baseman\u201d<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mariners<\/td>\nSkenes<\/td>\nCal Raleigh<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Finally, the Top 10 Nutty Social Media Theories from Pirates Fans<\/h3>\n

The reader has been most patient to get this far, so let\u2019s get to our top 10, in ascending order a la David Letterman<\/a>:<\/p>\n

10. The Pirates would win more games if they signed Trevor Bauer and named him player\/manager<\/em>.<\/h4>\n

Why somebody thinks Bauer would be a good manager is beyond comprehension.<\/p>\n

9. Bob Nutting should be \u201cinvestigated by DOGE\u201d because \u201che\u2019s been doing some shady business for a long time.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

There\u2019s no evidence that Nutting has done \u201cshady business for a long time.\u201d Even if true, this wouldn\u2019t be within the purview of the Department of Government Efficiency. Strike one: Nutting and the Pirates aren\u2019t part of the government. Strike two: This has nothing to do with efficiency. And strike three: Turns out DOGE was never even a real department.<\/p>\n

8. The Cubs put Alexander Canario<\/a> on waivers as part of a diabolical plot to have him end up with the Pirates and weaken them<\/em>.<\/h4>\n

The Mets purchased Canario from the Cubs in February. Before he got to play a game for the Mets, they sold him to the Pirates in March. It\u2019s amazing that two teams could conspire to plan and execute such a nefarious scheme. They should have put that same effort into winning their divisions.<\/p>\n

7. The Pirates have \u201ctoo many freaks hanging around pissing off the players.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

It must look like Woodstock in the Pirates\u2019 clubhouse.<\/p>\n

6. \u201cA local couple named their child after Paul Skenes. Sad when fans are more invested than the owner.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

Absolutely, Nutting should father a child at age 63 and name him after Skenes to show he’s more invested than the fans. His actual monetary investment means nothing.<\/p>\n

5. The Pirates \u201cshould set the starting rotation in April and keep it that way.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

Because over 162 games, nobody\u2019s going to get injured, traded, sent to the minors, or removed for poor performance, and there will never be a rainout.<\/p>\n

4. \u201cCade Horton<\/a> is going to make sure Paul Skenes doesn\u2019t repeat as Rookie of the Year.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

Do I really have to explain this one?<\/p>\n

3. \u201cHorwitz could hit .500, and it will still be a terrible trade.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\n

This refers to the offseason trade where the Pirates sent pitcher Luis Ortiz<\/a> and two minor leaguers to Cleveland for first baseman Spencer Horwitz<\/a>. Ortiz is currently on non-disciplinary paid leave while Major League Baseball continues to investigate unusual betting activity detected on certain pitches thrown. Yet, somebody in the social media orbit wouldn\u2019t have traded him for a .500 hitter.<\/p>\n

2. David Bednar should be allowed to bat for himself.<\/em><\/h4>\n

In Bednar\u2019s 10-year professional career, he\u2019s made exactly two plate appearances, and none since 2021. The first resulted in a sacrifice bunt. The second resulted in a strikeout. Maybe this poster saw Bednar bat in Little League.<\/p>\n

1. The Georgia Bulldogs offered Pirates hitting coach Matt Hague<\/a> $7.5 million to leave the Pirates and coach football.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Not surprisingly, this was presented without evidence, is thoroughly ridiculous, and drew the hardest belly laugh from me, and thus is No. 1.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s all, folks. Maybe we\u2019ll do this again next year. Meanwhile, check your facts before posting to social media. I\u2019m watching.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Main Photo Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Social media is a place where downright nutty theories are presented as facts, and Pirates fans certainly do their part. For the first time, we present the top 10 nutty social media theories posted by Pittsburgh Pirates fans during the just-concluded 2025 regular season. I did my best to distinguish between times when people were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5010,"featured_media":102043,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"","sfio_featured_image":false,"sfio_embed_code":"","_ef_editorial_meta_date_first-draft-date":"","_ef_editorial_meta_paragraph_assignment":"","_ef_editorial_meta_checkbox_needs-photo":"","_ef_editorial_meta_number_word-count":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[26,1071],"tags":[5062,6208,1374,3160,28961,4875,2762,3434,6371,483],"class_list":["post-107950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pirates","category-mlb","tag-alexander-canario","tag-bob-nutting","tag-bryan-reynolds","tag-derek-shelton","tag-don-kelly","tag-henry-davis","tag-mitch-keller","tag-oneil-cruz","tag-paul-skenes","tag-trevor-bauer"],"modified_by":"Lewis Masella, Site Editor","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5010"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107950"}],"version-history":[{"count":34,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":107986,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107950\/revisions\/107986"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/102043"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lastwordonsports.com\/baseball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}