Since opening its doors WWE Studios has created several movies in varying genres, with the majority of them utilizing WWE talent in on-screen roles. Up until recently, all of their films had been original productions. That changed earlier this year when WWE Studios released their first ever film based off of an existing property, Leprechaun: Origins.
This opens up an interesting avenue for WWE fans that also happen to be cinema files. It’s hard to believe that wrestling fans have never sat around and done some fantasy casting, either of upcoming features, past favorites, or movies that don’t even exist yet. It is in that spirit that I present the first in an ongoing series of rambling where I cast WWE wrestlers in some of my favorite movies.
Let’s start off the first entry in our series with an 80’s action classic, The Running Man. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the original 1987 film, you can read a synopsis here. WWE actually did a film in a similar tone with Stone Cold Steve Austin in The Condemned.
Now let’s take a look at our main cast of characters and their pro wrestling counterparts.
Ben Richards (Originally played by Arnold Schwarzenegger) – John Cena: I can already feel the collective eye rolling from the Cena-haters reading this, but when you think about it, John Cena is really is the perfect guy for this role. Ben Richards is a character who gets framed after making the tough choice to do the right thing, and is placed in a situation where he can’t possibly overcome the odds, but somehow manages to do so (sound familiar?). Plus we know Cena can handle the physicality and has already carried a handful of action vehicles for WWE Studios.
Amber Mendez (Originally played by Maria Conchita Alonso) – Rosa Medes: Ignoring the fact that her name is almost identical to that of the character and ignoring the fact that both Rosa and the character she would be playing share a Latino background, Rosa hasn’t been very active on WWE TV lately with the exception of appearing on the newest season of Total Divas; which means she at least would be doing something to earn her contract dollars while getting more on camera experience. This is also a great role for a first timer because although the Mendez character does see plenty of screen time, her role is particularly deep.
Damon Killian (Originally played by Richard Dawson) – Paul Heyman: in the 1987 original, Family Feud game show host Richard Dawson stole the show by playing a manipulative, un-empathetic, and overall dislikable sleaze ball game show host with the kind of charisma that jumped through the screen and grabbed the audience’s attention. With that description alone it is easy to see that Damon Killian is the role Paul Heyman was born to play. No one captures the attention of the WWE universe like Heyman, and no one resembles the Killian character more than the advocate for the 1 in 21-1. By the end of the film, viewers would be begging to see Heyman put in his place.
William Laughlin (Originally played by Yaphet Kotto) – Zack Ryder: William Laughlin is Richards’s sidekick. He’s no slouch but the movie makes it pretty clear that the only reason he survives as long as he does is because Richards likes him and is there to save him when he gets in trouble. Sounds like the perfect role for the one time Cena sidekick and longtime jobber Ryder.
Harold Weiss (Originally played by Marvin J. McIntyre) – Justin Roberts: The character of Harold Weiss has no positive physical attributes to speak of. He is a nerd who helps the resistance through the use of computers. Justin Roberts wouldn’t exactly be described as an athlete, and he once saved a WWE house show after their sound system went down and he just happened to be carrying every WWE entrance theme ever on his laptop. Sounds like a nerd to me.
Professor Subzero (Originally played by Professor Toru Tanaka) – Damien Sandow: Professor Subzero was one of the harder characters to cast, but after pondering over the subtle nuances present in a character with a name straight out of a Bill Dozer Batman episode, it hit me in the face like an exploding hockey puck! Damien Sandow certainly fits the “Professor” part of Professor Subzero, and has no qualms about dressing up in goofy outfits. Chill, he’s perfect!
Eddie “Buzzsaw” Vatowski (Originally played by Gus Rethwisch) – Sheamus: Although he’s used to being a fan favorite these days, Sheamus knows how to be villainous, and when he is, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Eddie Vatowski in that they both mow down their opposition like, well, a buzzsaw. Arm the Celtic Warrior with a weaponized motorcycle and it won’t take long for him to flash those crazy eyes and have audiences fearing for their heroes lives.
Fireball (originally played by Jim Brown) – Kane: Yeah, you should have seen this one coming. It’s only natural that a character associated with fire would be played by another character associated with fire. Not to mention that Kane is a pretty damned intimidating human being. Add to that the fact that he has prior WWE film experience, and it’s easy to imagine the Devil’s Favourite Demon in the role.
Dynamo (originally played by Erland Van Lidth De Jeude) – Cesaro: Although he is electrifying bell to bell, I chose Cesaro as the buggy driving stalker for one reason. The character of Dynamo loves to sing of your impending doom while chasing you down. Although Cesaro has never performed Carmen, he does know how to yodel, which might be an even more terrifying sound to come out of a man wearing a light brite costume.
Captain Freedom (originally played by Jesse Ventura) – John Bradshaw Layfield: Captain Freedom is a patriotic former ten-time stalker champion, who has shifted gears into a backstage and color commentary role. It seems like the role wouldn’t be much of a stretch for the former WWE Champion turned Monday night broadcaster. Plus it would be neat to see JBL square off against John Cena just one last time, even if it is for a movie role.
The Running Man is one of the best Schwarzenegger movies of the 1980’s and a personal favorite of mine, but would you buy a ticket to see my WWE Studios reboot? Sound off on social media and throw in your own casting choices if you think you can do better. But you better leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to reach into your stomach and…Well, you know the rest.
Thank you for reading. Please take a moment to follow me on Twitter – @AdamContant. Support LWOS by following us on Twitter – @LastWordOnSport – and “liking” our Facebook page.
Interested in writing for LWOS? We are looking for enthusiastic, talented writers to join our wrestling writing team. Visit our “Write for Us” page for very easy details in how you can get started today!
For the latest in sports injury news, see our friends at Sports Injury Alert.
