Sports. Honestly. Since 2011

The Silent Sports Fan

We have all seen that guy. That guy at the closest sports bar to the interstate, displaying his favorite NFL team’s oversized jersey like a spokes model. That guy who cracked his first beer in the morning before he cracked his first egg. That guy who now sits there, next to you, inhaling stale nachos covered in guacamole, jumping up after every three yard run to do a dance that reminds you of the Thanksgiving when Uncle Steve choked on an asparagus spear. Yes…he is the football fan. They can be spotted from a mile away and heard from two miles and just between you and me, can cause anyone to exit their local Buffalo Wild Wings faster than the Dolphins can blow a two touchdown lead in New England (and yes, that’s pretty darn fast).

Now it might be because I’ve mellowed over time and am in my 40’s now, or it might be because I’ve tired of the in your face, high volumed, over-marketed, 24-7, NFL today football world, but I have become what seems to be a dying breed in today’s sports world…a baseball fan.

You know us; you can spot us. We go to sports bars like you only we have reserved a corner booth near the kitchen and the 18 inch Magnavox because that’s the only TV showing the Padres-Rockies game. We are glued to our phones because of a burning desire to look up the starting third baseman for the 1972 Phillies (Don “easy” Money) or to see who hit the most home runs for the National League in 1984(Dale Murphy, for my fellow Braves fans). When not connected to the internet, we are discussing anything with numbers: BA, OPS, OBP, SLG, ERA, WHIP, IP, GO/AO, BB, and IBB…just to name a few. You can often spot us arguing about our own sport! Because as any National League fan will tell you, what they play in the American League is a sub-par product at best and almost pseudo-baseball at worst. A Designated hitter? You don’t have to play in the field? Really? Let’s see how your pitchers react after spending a few minutes on the base paths or legging out a double in the gap.

The argument rages on…

And by the way, we love it when you tell us baseball is boring because we feel like a part of an exclusive club, a club where only real fans are allowed. Everyone and their sister is a football fan. Who can’t jump up and scream when a 180 pound punter gets annihilated by a 250 lb linebacker when he’s not paying attention during a punt return? It takes a real baseball fan to rejoice when a ground ball is hit to the right side of the infield to get the runner from second base to third. A true baseball fan celebrates when a pitcher lays down a perfect sacrifice to move the runner to second and the leadoff is up next who just happens to be batting .320.( No offense junior league). What most people call boring, a baseball fan will say is highly executed and strategically necessary. What most sports fans call tedious, the baseball fan calls patient and cunning.

I won’t go so far as to say the baseball fan is the most cerebral in the sports world because I know there are very intelligent fans worldwide. I’ve been to Australia and spent time in a pub on Manly beach, eating fish and chips and listening to the locals talk cricket. Talk about patience and cunning! Try sitting through a three day cricket match between the UK and India. Back here at home, however, I sense a separation. The baseball fan is content to sit quietly in front of his 18’ TV and strategize, while the football fan is much easier to spot. You know that they’re there too…you just heard one, breaking a beer mug.

 

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