Quick Slant: Gay, Flacco, and how a Punter is Making our Streets Unsafe

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Updated: March 5, 2013
William_Gay_Steelers

The NFL is a smorgasbord of awesome storylines.  Some are analytical, others are critical, and some are just down right stupid.  It’s the stupid ones I live for – they make my day.  Of course like you, I peruse the serious ones, the stories written by credible writers who have some form of credentials and at least a few real “inside sources”.  After all, the NFL is a serious business requiring serious reporting.  And then there are the guys out there that pull stories from their arses, dreaming up some idiotic cliché angle to sell us their verbiage.  Wait, I hope I’m not in that category?  Damn.

Anyway, while I do buy into the serious nature of sports, I also like to have a little fun, which is why I created NFL Parting Shots. At its core, NFL Parting Shots is my way of sharing with you the headlines from around the NFL that I feel are most interesting.  Of course I try to offer my own take on the story in as few words as possible – some of us have a wife, kids and a job and don’t have time to read 5000+ word novels!  So, without further ado, I give you today’s Parting Shots:

 

Joe Flacco says he feels “respected” with his $52million (GUARANTEED) deal. So, the other 6 billion on the planet should be “DISrespected”? Idiot.  Hopefully we can be done with him until at least next week……William Gay, former Steeler turn Cardinal, is Back in Black (and gold) with the team that drafted him. Hopefully his college degree was in either economics or in bloodletting – this team could use both……Chiefs punter Dustin Colquitt has signed for 5 years at $18.75million ($9m guaranteed). Yes. Punter. $18.75million.  For the same money we could pay for 80 more police officers to patrol our streets for 5 years.  Just sayin’……In other Chiefs news, Kansas City has signed Dwayne Bowe to a 5 year mega-deal and have used their Franchise tag on Branden Albert. That gives them a lot of flexibility with the Number 1 overall pick on draft day… Ex-Gopher MarQueis Gray is being sought by several NFL teams at three different positions.  I find it hard to use all four buttons on my remote control when I play Madden.  Then again, I’ve been told I’m past my prime……Apparently Johnny Manziel is considering making a go of the NFL in 2014.  Piss off!  Yes, he’s faced a few good defenders in his entire one-year college career, but facing 11 of them week in and week out is a different animal. But go ahead, we didn’t want you in the SEC to begin with!……The NFL is ready to ask its fans if they would shell up $25 to see the combine for a day.  Seriously it’s come to this?  People might pay to watch this circus?  Don’t be that guy. Just say “No”……It looks like David Akers is joining Randy Moss, who was voted off the island a few days ago. The whole 13 of 42 in FG’s was apparently not good enough. My nephew’s JV team is looking for help, though they don’t have a good pension, so…..

 

Alright, that does it for today.  Feel free to look up any of those stories making the news over the past 24 hours.

 

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Photo Credit: Eldorado Owens, Wiki Commons, CC

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